Is This Thing On?

A reality TV post...as per request.

Lately I have become a reality TV conspiracy theorist. I find myself watching, if only to look for all that is so not real with the so-called reality.

Since summer TV usually gives me the doldrums, I find there is little or nothing to watch when nighttime rolls around. Last summer though I did pick up a weekly habit of watching NBC's Last Comic Standing.
Call me

naive

but at the time, I was actually still in the "gee golly" mindset of thinking the best person SURELY will win. But I have been through too many reality disappointments and setups since. This year I returned OLDER, WISER and yet still watching...

REALITY TV.

So, this season I tune in, full well knowing there was a little controversy surrounding the (ahem) casting of the show. For those of you who don't know, LCS (I'm abberviating not to be hip, but to save space and time, k?) is a reality show hosted by Jay Mohr where they allegedly scour the country in search for the funniest, in a relatively unknown sense, person in America. Last year's winner was Dat Phan. Last year's losers were ALL also ten times funny than...Dat Phan.

In an effort to avoid a repeat of Dat Phan's triumph, NBC exec's decided to get smart. In a full proof plan, they held their nationwide search. However, in an interesting twist of events they picked the 10 least interesting, but more importantly LEAST FUNNY COMEDIANS they could have, and put them in a house together. People of which by the way it was obvious they had pre selected even before traipsing across America. Of course we have yet to see who will have the last laugh, not to mention the first actual joke.

What happens when you get 10 struggling comics in a house together? Apparently ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The funny thing is they picked people who were already like sorta famous in a you've-seen-their-faces-but-you-don't-know-their-names-and-laughed-here-and-there-but-never-expected-to-see-them- again-EVER-kinda-way."

Take my personal fave, Ant.

Here's my problem with Ant. All, and I mean ALL, Of his humor revolves around one topic and one topic only, himself and his sexuality. I don't care who you are, if you're humor is situational then YOU are not funny. Sure you might have some good jokes, but a good joke or two does not a funny PERSON make. (By the way, if anyone has Jeff Foxworthy's email, I'd like to cc him on this.)

Here's the other problem: What is up with the lack of good female comediannes out there? Are we to believe Tammy "the mobster" Pescatelli, Kathleen "the mother type" Madigan, and Bonnie "the skuzzy twenty something chick" McFarlane are SERIOUSLY the funniest, unsigned female acts? As Hall and Oates once said, "Say It Isn't So!"

Some have said that the show was cast based on the drama factor or basically, who would cause the most problems in the house. See it's ironic cause FINALLY there's something that's funny. Hell, if I wanted to see that I wouldn't have been watching what I THOUGHT was supposed to be the search for America's funniest new comedian/ne.

I guess the joke's on me.

You're Welcome

10 Things I Won't Be Blogging About Today

1. Michael Moore
2. George Bush
3. Michael Moore AND George Bush
4. Fahrenheit 911
5. G Mail
6. J Lo
7. Anything with an initial or a number as part of it's essence
8. Another ho hum day for Courtney Love
9. Bill Clinton
10. Kansas, the band OR the state

I Left My Heart In San Diego

Ahh, after being inundated with an insane amount of commercials, I have come to the obvious conclusion that tonight another Real World season must come to a close.

I still remember the moment I realized I was officially getting too old for Real World. I was watching Season 10, which after googling it I realized was the season they went back to New York. (as if there weren't and still aren't a zillion other interesting places they could venture to for the first time.) Anyway, I was watching the show faithfully at the time because I was also writing a weekly column of recaps.

The following is a real conversation for an actual episode of the Real World:

Boy: "I just need to like, you need to realize that like you're not, I mean."
Girl: "No, whatever."
Boy: "It's not gonna like- you know what I mean?"
Girl: "Yeah. No. It's cool. No, I'm fine."
Boy: "Do you understand that?"
Girl: "No. Yeah. I totally understand it."

Well I'm sure as hell glad THEY understood each other because they officially lost me at the first "like".

And it all went downhill from there.

I tried out for Real World once. (Did I just type write that out loud?) I have my own theories as to why I didn't make the cut.

1. They like to pick people who exude originality. They think this originality starts with your name. My name, as we all know, is Janet. Turns out they already had a cast member named Janet (see RW Seattle). It was doomed from the start.

2. I flat out told them I wasn't the crazy one. I tried to market myself as a stereotype they didn't have yet. But since Bunim Murray Productions STILL do not acknowledge that they do indeed partake in stereotypical casting endeavors (hello? cast members get together now and immediately LOOK for the gay one), that probably didn't go over well either.

3. I refused to be considered for Road Rules. I was all like, "Ok no. You are not getting me to bungee jump off a ferris wheel with cotton candy covering my eyes or some stupid shit like that." Whatever. I was always told honesty was the best policy.

4. I wasn't cool enough. I hate to say it, but it's true. I'm not gay. I don't have cystic fibrosis. My parents are STILL together. How very vanilla of me.

Now I know I'm getting old when the show has that "been there, done that" vibe.

When the Real World becomes the polar opposite of what is actually real? Yeah, that's the time to pack it up.

I Went To Atlantic City And All I Got Was This Stupid Blog Entry

Maybe your friends aren't necessarily the people who know you the best, they are merely the people who got there first.

As many (I love how I throw around the word "many") of you already know, the bachelorette party to end all bachelorette parties went down this weekend. Suffice it to say plans changed more than Jennifer Lopez's marital status...and I'm still using the term "plans" loosely here.

We ended up heading down to AC in the AM at the bride's request in order to get some fun in the sun time in. Of course, Mr. Golden Sun wasn't really on our side because it was overcast nearly our entire time on the beach. So after a few hours we decided to have a drink and then head back to the room to start to get ready for dinner, since we had six girls and one shower and NO...seven girls were NOT in one shower at the same time...sickos.

Now, there's something else you need to know. The bachelor portion of this particular group were also in AC, just at a different casino. It's also good to note that four of the girls (including the bride) had significant others at the bachelor shindig.

Even before we went down there, a few of the girls were continously trying to think of ways to have the parties meet up ...cause wouldn't that be GREAT? How many different ways can I say this is just a horrible idea? NOBODY wanted this to happen except for those few girls. Seriously, I even text messaged God on this one and he said it was a no go.

So the girls decide to do the next best thing. They will call the guys every hour, just to see what they are up to. Let it also be stated for the record, that nearly EVERYTHING the guys could be up to was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

1. The guys were going to go to Hooters for dinner.
GUESS AGAIN: The one girl wouldn't "allow" her fiance to dine there.

2. One guy was going to get a stripper for the event.
WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER: Same girl (who herself is getting married in 6 months) said she herself doesn't want her fiance to have a bachelor party and if he does, she needs to have it six months prior in order to book recovery time (seriously, I can't even make this shit up.)

3. The guys were going to go drink and dance at a club.
YOU ARE WRONG, SIR: Drinking? Ok. Dancing? With another woman somewhere in the room? Absolutely not! In fact, anything where you had to even talk to another girl, think about another girl, look at another girl in ANY capacity is out of the question.

4. The guys were going to gamble.
OK, BUT: You BETTER not gamble more than x amount of dollars and you BETTER not lose x amount of dollars and think about the money you are spending because this is our future that is on the line....

5. The one guy...are you ready for this? Smoked...a cigar!
His fiance's reaction: I'm sorry, did somebody have a baby?

Here's where the double standard comes:

1. The girls are allowed to go wherever they want for dinner.
THE GUYS DON'T CARE.

2. The girls are allowed to flirt, drink and dance with WHOMEVER they want to AND never talk about the fact that they are taken.
THE GIRLS GET FREE DRINKS.

3. The girls can gamble as much as they want to for as long as they want to.
Because in their mind, they can be trusted to bet wisely, although at least one of them still finds balancing her checkbook "burdensome".

This brings me back to my original statement. I have known the bride and her sister forever now. In many ways I see them as the sisters I never had. But, the older I get, the more I realize that I couldn't be more the opposite of these girls.

My philosophy:

1. Weddings are all the same. Dare to be different. Not different for different's sake mind you but for the love of God, and for the amount of money you are spending (which in itself isn't necessary) it's OK, in fact, probably better, to drift away a bit from the norm.

2. Give your man a little breathing room. If you can't trust your guy enough to be alone with other women for a few hours than you SHOULDN'T be getting married. Not to mention the fact that said guy is probably more likely to be tempted by the fruit of another at a club or bar than any girl hired hired for whatever amount of money an hour. And if he IS the type who is going to cheat, he will cheat anyhow no matter WHAT you do so give it up.

3. In the immortal words of Offspring (Man, I never thought I'd quote these guys)..."you gotta keep 'em seperated". There is a reason there are bachelor AND bachelorette parties. It's your last hurrah. No there's no need to see or talk to your significant other on that night. Put down the phone. You will see them tomorrow. For the night let the guys be guys and the girls be girls. If your guy's idea of "letting go" is something extreme that freaks you out yet again I say, YOU ARE PROBABLY MARRYING THE WRONG GUY.

4. Consider your friends. As I said earlier, weddings can be EXPENSIVE. Try to keep in mind that not everyone wants to have to pay off bridal activities in monthly installments. And that goes for the married couple as well. Why waste thousands of dollars one day? Cut back a little, get creative and save that money for the aftermath, also known as YOUR ACTUAL LIFE.

If anyone has something old or even something new to add, feel free.

The Name Game

The other day I blogged about Courtney Cox and David Arquette's new baby and why in the hell they named her Coco. A friend of mine told me that they named the baby Coco after COurtney COx...get it? Hmm...cute.

Well here's what I DON'T get, if we are in the business of naming our children ridiculous, parentally inspired names, why not at least give dada a little credit? I mean if anything, Croquette would have been a wiser, equally ridiculous name choice.

In other name news, friends of mine were talking this weekend about the names they want to name their children. My one friend wants to name her child (if she had a girl) Magdalene, after the church she was married in. After hearing total silence from the peanut gallery she quickly (and rightfully) picked up that the group wasn't really digging the name. She tried adding that they would only call her Maggie. Yeah that only marginally made the situation any better cause her birth given name would still be Magdalene, thus making her the butt of the joke for years to come.

My other friend said she always wanted to name her daughter (notice how everyone assumes they are having girls) Anna Grace. Her husband-to-be told her it ain't gonna happen. She was like, "But why?" He said "Cause her name would be Anna Hein." (his last name). Ahh yeah. Girls you can't always make these decisions, as much as you would like to WITHOUT having the husband (or baby's daddy) in mind first.

Plus, what is it with these women and the names of THEIR babies? I mean I know the guys don't usually care as much about these things, but they should have some say I mean they were there...hopefully anyway.

It all reminded me of the great SNL skit with Nicholas Cage and whomever played his wife. They were trying to figure out what to name the baby and he had a reason for not using virtually every name they came up with. At the end of the skit it all comes together (as so few SNL skits these days RARELY do) when you find out his name is Asswepi and everyone has always called him Asswipe. Hee Hee.

So all I'm saying is, if you have kids, THINK... LONG...TERM. Cause unless they grow up to be celebrities, most likely these names will be with them FOREVER. Don't go with what's cute or in at the moment or because you happened to read the ingredients on a Tresemme shampoo label. These are people damnit which yes, I'm painfully aware rhymes with Janet. Like I haven't heard THAT one fifty five million times in my life.

Why You Scare Me: Denise Austin Edition

Denise Austin scares me. The words to follow will attempt to explain why.

First let me start by letting you know that I say that A LOT.

"_____scares me". People. Things. Situations. Etc.

So maybe I throw around the term to the point of overuse or even as some would say, misuse. I admit this is true...

sometimes.

If you didn't know already, Denise Austin is an exercise guru. I picked up a DVD of hers, on a suggestion from a friend who said Austin is a great resource if you want to learn how to tone. As someone who has gotten into exercising in the past few years, but still can't stomach the idea of actually exercising IN FRONT of others, I figured it was worth a shot.

The video in question is Denise Austin's Pilates for Every Body. Even if you have no interest in exercising whatsoever, I suggest picking it up, if only for a few laughs which, if you laugh hard enough, might actually work some stomach muscles. I'm just saying. You know, the whole killing 2 birds thing and all.

Anyway, if you already are familiar with this video, or you can manage to get your hands on one, I'd like to point out the obvious...

It's HARD.

Don't get me wrong, I consider myself to be in good shape although I've probably got the actual strength of say an adolescent David Spade. But the video uses these things called resistance bands in lieu of actual weights.

Things you WILL grow to loathe, resistance bands typically come in three different colors, the colors corresponding to differing levels of difficulty. (For computer geek speak sake, this would be like the differing levels on a video game.) I started with the highest level since, you know, I had been exercising a while and all. I quickly downgraded to the middle level. Finally I settled in with the lightest band, the Air Supply of resistance bands if you will.

As I progress through the tape, kicking and cursing the day Denise Austin was born, I wonder if it's me. I see her swinging and stretching the HARDEST band mind you every which way. Every time I do the video I tell myself it is bound to get a little easier, but the portion I hated the most the last time I only hate all the more this time.

But back to why Austin scares me. Well, obviously, it's her freakish circus strength. The other revolves around my "favorite" moment in the video where she's holding a pose AND the camera's angle in perfect synchronicity as she utters the words:

"You ARE strong!!"

This is where the term seeing is believing comes in. Seriously, she comes across as part Stepford/part Firestarter. You can actually SEE her eyes give off sparks. It's quite amazing really. I try not to look directly at the TV during this segment.

Oh yeah and for those of you who are curious about whether or not the DVD actually does help you tone, the jury is still out on that one. I suppose I have gotten a LITTLE bit stronger. But I also now have Vietnam like Denise Austin flashbacks so it's a trade off.

Oh well. Guess I'll go exorcise...I mean exercise.

Wedding-Gate 2004

Here's a piece of advice for all the ladies out there: If a friend asks you to be in her weddding, you will RUN, not walk, as far, and as quickly away as possible.

I know you love your friend and all (or maybe you don't, who knows?) but by the end of the process you'll be doubting that love, their love and all types of love at $175 dollars a head.

Don't get me wrong. I've been in weddings before and I've put out a hefty chunk of change. But not since the last episode of "North Shore" have I been exposed to more overdramatics.

Let me backtrack a bit. I was asked to be in one of my oldest friends weddings last summer. I accepted, without question, as I always knew that someday we would be in each other's weddings. Everyone knows that weddings themselves can be a headache. Now factor in that there are three, three weddings in the same year for the same family. Suddenly it's like "The Amazing Race" of weddings...on your mark...get set...GO!

A bridesmaid gown and accessories that could be the down payment on an apt.?...check
An engagement party thrown by P. Diddy?...check
Hawaiian themed bridal shower WITHOUT the "Pina Colada Song" ?...check
A gift to top all bridal shower gifts given, EVER?...check

So now we are FINALLY in the home stretch with the bachelorette party coming this weekend. But this is not your mom's bachelorette party...oh no. This is the Woodstock of bachelorette parties, complete with non stop fun for all! Cause you will have fun damnit. And you will not be bitter about ANY of it.

I am beginning to see why people elope.

Shame On You, Mary Kate

It turns out that one of the Olsen twins, (although I might be struck for using that term collectively these days) Mary Kate, has been admitted into some sort of treatment facility for anorexia. Perhaps the fact they ARE no longer being referred to as a unit means she can't go on hiding behind the grotesquely overweight sister any longer.

This news was quite thrilling to my mother, not that she wished this sickness upon the girl or anything. She's just the type of person where once she gets something into her head, she MUST say it every time she sees the person, as if we didn't hear her opinion of the situation THE FIRST FIVE TIMES. Imagine this scenario when you're watching something and they keep panning back to her (i.e. when they hosted SNL -and you'll catch my drift).

So anyway, every time mom sees Mary Kate, (I think that's the one who is sick anyway), she says, "That girl is TOO skinny!" or sometimes she varies it by saying, "She looks awful!" etc. etc. Now that it is finally confirmed, my mother can finally bask in the knowledge that she was indeed right all along.

Now if only I could find evidence to support my theory that Jennifer Love Hewitt is NOT indeed the next Mary Poppins, hell I'd gloat as well.

Addendum

As it was cleverly pointed out to me, there are really more than 10 categories of bloggers (see Different Strokes post below) or at the very least, there should be sub categories. I agree since after all, I see myself as not always being a true 10. Sometimes I have a dash of 1, 3, 4, and even perhaps a bit of 6 to some people out there. Perhaps there should be a 4a and 4b. Perhaps I should stop trying to fit everybody into neat categories for my OWN amusement and self preservation!

But I suppose sitting down and thinking about it just might cross the line of casual blogging into a place I'm not ready to go... just yet.

Different Strokes

As I continue my quest to find individuals in pursuit of like minded blogging, I have noticed 10 different categories of blogs...or at least I've made 10 different categories because it seemed like a good, solid number.

1. Documentary blogs:
Blogging about their jobs (or lack thereof), search for the perfect guy/girl, diet, trip you're taking...you name it.

2. Breakup/I-Love-You-So-Much Blogs:
These blogs are predominantly brimming over with poetry and blurry pictures of current loves or loves lost. There is a lot of "I talked to Josh today and it was a GOOD conversation..." type of stuff. These are the blogs that read more like suicide notes or pleas for help.

3. Informational Blogs:
Blogs whose sole purpose is to post on a singular topic or topics of note (i.e. dissatisfaction with the Bush administration, techie news, Lord of the Rings deleted scene info, recently found on a crumpled up napkin at Denny's type of thing).

4. Ahh Such is Life Blogs:
These people like writing about their day to day tribulations and that's OK with them. They ate noodles...they want us to know about it. They crashed their car...they want us to know about too. Basically no blog topic is too big or too small.

5. Blogs That Redefine the Way We Blog (Or Are Supposed to Anyway):
These blogs are the ones you see under blogs of note. They're not your typical blog. They WILL change you. Reading them WILL make you a better person. Think of these as the Academy Award Winners of blogging.

6. International Blogs:
They are in different languages. I can't read them. They might fall under some of the categories already listed, who knows?

7. Picture Blogs:
There are lots of pictures of people I don't know. I suppose this is a nice way to communicate with friends. If you're not one of THEM though, the point is lost on you.

8. Random Blogs:
These blogs are mostly created by the average teenager. You know this because they are more concerned with making the letters different sizes, and adding asterisks and such than actually posting anything. Most of the time they are named after equally random song lyrics like "**AnD Im ABoUT tO BReak!@** Sometimes the content varies and they aren't created by teenagers. Occassionally I read these because they have funny titles like "The Lives of Horses". Then when I realize it really is actually only about the lives of horses. I move on.

9. Boredom Blogs:
These people don't really write much of anything. Suddenly, they'll post one day with a title something to the effect of "HEY GUYS...I'M BACK!!!"

10. Satire Blogs:
I guess this blog is an example of a satire blog, although it's not really a true satire. Most of the time these blogs are commenting on other people's common sense, or lack thereof. These blogs are my favorite...but I am a little biased.

Shout Outs!

Thanks to Kerrie, "Greenie" and Chris for their attempts in making my blogger a better place.

Kerrie- your ideas worked. You're officially my new blogging mentor.:)

School of Hard Knocks

I started my part time summer job tonight, more to get out of the house then to get any real money out of the deal. So, I meet this kid who is already working there. (BTW, I use the term "kid" loosely these days, he's probably like 23 years old). He tells me he IS a teacher but that he doesn't actually teach right now. Same song different lyrics: He finished up last year and couldn't find a job...blah, blah, blah.

I ask the "kid" if he subbed this year in the meantime and he gives me some lame excuse about not having his certification in time. I politely point out that in the state of NJ you need not be certified to sub...all you need is 60 college credits. He spits out something about how you really need the certificate though because if a school has an option, they'll pick a certified teacher to sub over a regular old sub. But he IS a teacher...just without the piece of paper in his hands. And then even once he got the paper he didn't bother to sub..since it was already January and all.

Yeah cause kids are only in school for SIX MORE MONTHS.

For those of you who don't know, there are really 3 types of people who sub:

1. Retired teachers who want extra income and aren't ready to fully ready to retire yet.
2. New teachers who are looking to get hired.
3. Mom types who want an "easy" job (ha, ha), but still like being close to their kids.

Basically I call bull****. If you can't get a job, I sympathize. But God helps those who help themselves...or at the very least, those who know him personally.

Blogging For Dummies

Ok, so my blog looks halfway decent of which I really can't take ANY credit for considering all I did was hit a button that switched my template and voila! I looked like I knew what I was doing.

I have had a few people ask me to "swap links". Embarrassingly I have avoided answering them because I don't know how to add links. (Even more embarrassing is I had to double check how to spell embarrassing).

Once upon a time I had links with my old template. But just as with my childhood appreciation for all things NKOTB, they seem to be gone forever.

Anyone know how to add links to this thing? I'll add yours if you help. Whatever. I ain't above begging.

You're Only As Good As Your Last Blog

I've noticed something disturbing since I started blogging: You really are only as good as the last blog you wrote. I've sent my blog to a few friends to check it out and they made it obvious all they did was skim whatever was at the top of the page. Even if someone comments on what you wrote, it's almost always the LAST thing you wrote.

What does this say about the society we live in? To me it says that we want immediate gratification and whatever is at the top is all that we have time to digest in the flurry of activity we call our busy, consumer driven lives. I even had one person tell me that it "looked good"...not even going for the skimming option, but just scanning my blog to at least say he vaguely knew what the color scheme was.

I would write more, but I probably lost you at the first paragraph anyway.

The More Things Change, The More They...

So, last night I watched the movie "Mona Lisa Smile". Although the movie took place 50 years earlier, has that much really changed? For starters, I completely understood the whole "game" you feel like you have to play to get AND KEEP a teaching job. This still holds true today.

Secondly, I still think that so many women measure their worth by how well they can balance the whole package. While it's true most women no longer equate success with just staying home and raising children, I find that most people equate success with juggling everything...career, husband and family.

Think about it. How many female friends do you have that reach a certain age and seem perfect in every way...if only they were married. How many women have breathed a sigh of relief that they don't have to remain alone. Movies and books are made about this concept all the time. Today, however, it cleverly disguised as the "young, funny, slightly edgy and hip heroine"...but if you watch these movies and read these books...you'll notice indepedence ain't what it's cracked up to be. The leading lady almost always gets her prince. And then we ALL can sigh a breath of relief right? Because now she's "OK"...whatever that means.

Same as it ever was.

Postcards

So a friend of mine went away recently and he said, "Hey, I'll send you a postcard while I'm there."

I don't really get why people send postcards. There are a few main reasons for this:

1. There are assumably SO MANY things you are seeing on your trip that trying to cram it all into a tiny little postcard space seems silly.
2. The picture on the front never seems to do the trip justice.
3. By the time most postcards are written it is already a few days into the trip. Then, by the time the person sends the card and you, the recipient gets it, they are probably home anyway.

Here's a thought: just wait until your back from the trip and tell me all about it yourself.

As it turns out my friend never sent that postcard to me anyhow.

So what's up with that? I'm not IMPORTANT enough?!

Is It Really All In Who You Know?

So anyone has been reading my blog so far (or already knows me) knows that I'm looking for a full time teaching job. About once a week panic sets in that I don't have one lined up yet for fall. I hear everything from: "Don't worry some districts don't hire until the last minute" to "Yeah, good luck with that because getting a teaching job in Jersey is like winning the lottery".

But then today I hear another one of my friends just got a job for fall. She's also had a bunch of interviews.

I don't really have an uplifting way to end this entry. If anyone teaches in Jersey and can shed some light (preferably positive light) then, by all means.

Age and Angst

I thought long and hard about whether or not I should even write about the fact that today is my birthday. Birthdays have reached that point where they have lost their shine and luster...and I'm not even THAT old. When I was little I used to LOVE planning for my birthday, although it always sucked because my birthday always coincided with the end of school, and thus, the social life of an 11 year old as well.

Now as many years have passed, I think I find birthdays depressing for two reasons or as I like to refer to them, painfully wrong assumptions.
A. That by the time I reached a certain age everything (career, relationship, home etc) would just fall into place.
B. That I would clearly know where my life was going and be ok with that.
C. All of the above.
D. None of the above.

I'll take D.

Ashlee

I just got finished watching the all new reality show revolving around Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson's kid sis. Of course nepotism IN NO WAY played a part in Ashlee getting her own show...or her own recording contract for that matter. Bite your tongue.

Instantly there were things that irked me. For starters, the girl is 19 years old and lives in a place that I probably won't even be able to afford by the time I'm 30. Then there's the way EVERY...LITTLE...THING...SHE...DOES is just full of so much energy and spunk. She walks with spunk, pouts with spunk and even manages to break up with her boyfriend...all while maintaining her spunk factor.

And then there's the fact that within one 30 minute episode she went from not seeing her life without her boyfriend to deciding that breaking up is probably the way to go. That could be to the magical wonders of editing, but man, did that relationship downgrade fast.

Hell, even the way she spells her name is cutesy. Of course, that isn't her fault.

The worst part? I'll probably watch it next week anyhow.

Little Coincidences

So, it might sound corny, but I do believe in the adage everything happens for a reason. The problem is that the reason sometimes takes so freakin long to reveal itself, that we get impatient and decide to either move on or make up a reason of our own in the meantime.

But the whole fate/reason thing is another blog, or another thousand blogs for another time and perhaps even another blogger.

I like to focus on the little ways things come into your life that have purpose. I'm reading this book called "Why Girls Are Weird" by Pamela Ribon. I didn't know much about it when I picked it up other than it looked quirky and cute and I'll admit, quirky and cute can be guilty pleasures of mine that I'm often drawn to like magnets.

Anywho, it turns out this book is all about how this girl becomes obsessed with blogging. Other people become obsessed with her blogging too.

A girl contacted me yesterday to tell me she liked my blog.

Coincidence? I think not.

Meet and Greet

I wonder how many people log onto Blogger with the sole purpose of adding to their blog. I find that for the most part, I'll add something to my blog but check out someone else's thoughts in the process. I like having those moments where I read what a total stranger is writing and yet can still completely see where they are coming from. I wonder if it's just me though.

I think we spend too much of our lives in a little bubble. So many people are afraid to meet new people after a certain point. That's a shame. I mean for every 10 crappy people I meet, I do find a decent one.

Maybe those odds aren't really helping the cause much.

By George I Think She's Got It!

Hey! I figured out how to change my template! So what if every third blog I read has the same template. Individuality is overrated anyway.
Now if only I knew where my links and such went to....(sigh)

You Outta Know

It seems Alanis Morissette has gotten engaged to sarcastic Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds. I'm forced to refer to projects such as "Van Wilder" and "2 Guys A Girl and A Pizza Place" for a frame of reference, though I always thought he was better then virtually everything he has done. If you are a fan of Alanis, you might have realized her music has become much more about forgiving and mending relationships lately. I always found it odd the to hear about the men she was linked with anyway. I don't know. For someone whose lyrics were so....provacative and all.

Somewhere Dave Coulier is sighing a breath of relief.

The Rules of the Remake

I was driving in my car today when the song "Mexican Radio" came on by Wall of
Voodoo. Only problem was it wasn't Wall of Voodoo at all, but it was indeed "Mexican Radio".
Thoughts ran through my head in this order:

1. "I didn't know someone remade "Mexican Radio".
2. "I didn't think someone NEEDED to remake "Mexican Radio".

Don't get me wrong. I love a good remake as much as the next girl, but there are definite, unwritten rules to the remake.

They go a little something like this:

1. Don't remake a song that was already really good UNLESS you have something new and original to add to it.
2. Don't remake a bad song UNLESS you can make it good.
3. Never let your remake become bigger than any original song you've done on your own. (i.e. Jeffrey "In Your Eyes" Gaines).

It's not so much that this new version of "Mexican Radio" was bad. It couldn't be. Because it sounded almost EXACTLY LIKE THE ORIGINAL SONG!

At any rate, hearing the song prompted me to research if there was an actual remake and it turns out there was more than one. The good news though is that I'm currently reading about some remakes of interest that I didn't know about.

Got a favorite remake? Feel free to contact me...see previous post...I still haven't sorted out this blogger business yet.

Wanted: Someone Who Knows How to Use This Damn Thing

Ok, so I obviously understand the basics of blogging. I mean what isn't there to understand? But when I try to make my blog better, I found I really have no idea what I'm doing.

1. Adding your profile. At first this feature was down then it wasn't, I made a profile and I don't understand why it isn't loading on the main page.

2. Adding other things to the sidebar. I managed to add one feature but nothing over there is the color or size I want it to be. I felt like Goldilocks and the 3 Bears...sometimes it was too small, other times too large. I'm still searching for my "just right".

3. Adding photos. So I download that Hello program only to see you need to add picture to a webpage first and then insert the weblink...ahh what?

4. I'm jealous- I see pretty blogs. I want a pretty blog. Maybe they are all programmers and I shouldn't feel that bad.

Want to help?

She Doesn't Get It

Apparently the WB's Superstar USA crowned their "winner" last night. Blonde haired Jamie walked away the new "superstar", a weird hybrid of winner and loser rolled into one (William Hung anyone?) But the worst part? Jamie now knows it was all a hoax and doesn't care. In fact, she is grateful for the opportunity and still insists she is a better singer than the show made her out to be. Oh yeah and the kicker? She gets a $100,000 recording contact anyhow. So in America we not only award mediocrity in an indirect way, we have also decided to just pile it on no matter who you are. Way to go!

Reasons Why I Hate....

Joe Rogan.

Ok, I don't actually have a list of my most hated celebrities, but I am gonna work on it (seriously, what else am I gonna do?). At any rate, I already have some candidates for the coveted list and one of them is the subject of this blog...Joe Rogan.

Here's my problem with Joe- I don't see what he offers the entertainment industry. What is his talent? He doesn't sing or dance, can barely act and ain't that easy on the eyes. He also hosts 2 of the most annoying shows ever- Fear Factor and The Man Show.

The reason I don't like Fear Factor is simple. The show is not based on anyone's actual fears. Eating bugs covered in mayonnaise while your hands are tied behind your back in a flourescent room while Bananarama's "I Heard A Rumor" plays over and over? Yeah, that's not a fear...that's COMMON SENSE. Most people are afraid of rational things like heights, the dark and even going outdoors. But to make people do gross things and put it under the heading of conquering their fears is... just...wrong.

But back to Joe. I hear today that Comedy Central has opted to cancel The Man Show. The reason? From TV Guide.com "Man just hasn't been the same since Rogan and Doug Stanhope took over for Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla." Yeah because it was such a nugget of inspiration when the other two guys were a the helm. BTW, Carolla, don't think I forgot about you. You're on the hit list too damnit...whenever I finally make it.

Full Circle

Did you ever have a dream and wonder why you dreamt about something when you hadn't thought of that person, place whatever in awhile? Well, the other day I had a dream about Inxs and this song Invisible Man. I don't even think the song that was going through my head was a real song, but sometimes your dreams seem so real that you aren't sure. I mean I even woke up the next day and tried to look it up but got nowhere. Anyway, now today, I read more about Mark Burnett's rock version of American Idol and how the winner is going to be the new lead singer...for Inxs. If you ask me, it's a strange prize but that's besides the point. Maybe I had a weird premonition they were down for a comeback.

Dave Mordal Is An A**

I know it must be hard to be a celebrity and have people bothering you all the time. I'm aware of that. So, that's why when I have had the chance to meet celebrities I am weary of doing so. I'm always afraid I'll come off as a dork (because there's just no cool way to say you're a fan) OR even worse that said celebrity will come off as an a**.

So reluctantly, a little bit ago, I im'ed Last Comic Standing alum Dave Mordal. Let's just say the convo didn't go well. I mentioned the bit about how it is hard to tell celebrities you're a fan to which he typed, "I'm not a celebrity and I don't like people telling me how to live my life." Huh? What now? Talk about a conversation gone horribly wrong. I told him it was sad that some celebs are cool and some aren't. I wanted to say and as for you sir, I am no longer a fan, but I kept the rude comments to myself (unlike Mr. Mordal).

Anyway, I have met a few other people online and I'm hear to tell ya...Jude Cole...cool...Michael Ian Black...cool.

Dave Mordal...not so much.

Coco Cox

So Courtney Cox and hubby David Arquette finally had their baby. It's a girl named...Coco. Here's my question- why or why do celebrities INSIST on naming their children such idiotic names? I'm sorry but did Courtney think she was having a poodle? And of course there's Gwenyth's baby Apple and Jermaine Jackson's kid, Jermajesty and Jason Lee's son...Pilot Inspektor.(I think the "k" really gives it a kick...don't you?) I understand the need for celebrities to be unique and make a statement, but does it really have to be at the expense of some innocent kid who will surely have years of taunting to come?

Cruel Ironic Twist of Fate

The search for a job. It sucks. More to the point, it really sucks when you know you are qualified for the job and you're not getting any calls. So here's the cruelest part- the other day a call shows up on my caller ID from a local school in the area, but there was no message. So, since I have sent out a zillion and one applications to schools, I decided to call the school to see if perhaps they did try to call me for the all elusive interview. Yeah no one in the office remembers calling. They were probably just calling a parent or something or worse off SOMEONE ELSE in the area for an interview. Figures, right?