3 Weddings And A Wake

For those of you who have been reading this blog for some time now, you know I had three, count em, three weddings to attend this year. Now to most people, that might not sound like a lot. But I'm talking three weddings in the same, immediate family. The first in the trifecta was back in April and since I'm on the topic, she's already pregnant. The second wedding I was in and that was back in July. You might recall my wedding related tirades or wish to refresh your memory here or here or even here.

Now we are on the eve of the third and final wedding of the trio. Luckily, I am not a bridesmaid in this wedding although I was asked awhile back to be a reader. I don't know if you've ever been asked to be in a wedding before, but if you are, even if you are "only a reader", you like to know the where's and when's ahead of time. What you're reading, for example would also come in handy. Ok, at least to me.

So you can imagine my surprise when the wedding was around the corner and there was no more word about my doing a reading. With a little over 2 weeks to the wedding to go, I decided to put in money towards the school Christmas party and chalk it up as she must have found somebody else. After all, everybody knows the job of the reader goes to the red-headed stepchild of friends. The fringe friend. The "Chad Lowe", twice removed, if you will.

But then, 2 weeks to the date of the wedding, I get an invitation for the rehearsal dinner in the mail.

I was pissed. I thought I wasn't involved anymore. I mean, can't I just not be involved anymore? I know what you're thinking. I know it sounds bad. But there's also the matter of my school. I had already paid for the Christmas party. If I backed out now, would they think I was an anti-social flake or something even more bizarre, like I only celebrated Kwanzaa?

So, I left it up to the Gods. If I was able to get my money back, I will take this as a sign I should attend the rehearsal although part of me wanted not to go, just on principle. The bride-to-be insisted I be there because she said her deacon was quite "anal" (no pun intended) and made a point of saying the readers needed to be there to rehearse.

Now I don't know about you, but I have never been to a wedding rehearsal where the readers rehearse, so I can't wait to see what song and dance number they have choreographed for Saturday. I'm picturing lots of doves and even perhaps a cameo by Olivia Newton-John who also, coincidentally, is a vision in white.

Then the funeral came in. Ok not a funeral, a wake. There will be a funeral, I just won't be attending. The person who died is one of those folks you pay your proper respects to, but they don't run in your immediate circle. I just cheated with the name of this post because well, I was *this* close.

Of course, sans Hugh Grant.

In closing, I've noticed an irony that transpires at these events, so it's kismet they are a crossing paths now. Funerals, although a somber occassion, are often sprinkled with lots of laughter and reunions. Weddings on the other hand, are often filled with hungry people who hate their lukewarm food and their tablemates, along with the fact that they really don't want to catch the bouquet or the garter and God forbid, here the 5,698th version of "We Are Family", "Shout" or "Hot, Hot, Hot".

With that being said, one guess as to which event is actually more bearable.

Don't be a hater. You know deep down you're thinking it too.