Are The Stars Out Tonight?
Year after year, I'm drawn like a magnet to watch the annual award shows. From The Oscars to The Grammys and everything in between...I've sampled them all. Bonnie Tyler turns around and falls apart. I turn around and watch whatever's on.
This weekend it was a bit of a two-fer as I caved into my curiosity and tuned in to the tsunami concert on NBC. Then, the following night, I watched nearly all the same people gather together again for The Golden Globe Awards. In fact, I just realized this is probably the one and only time in my life where I can be held accountable for Kevin Spacey's whereabouts for an entire 48 hour time frame.
The tsunami concert gave me a warm feeling inside. Not since 9-11 have I seen so many celebrities take time from their lives and gather for the sake of good. I just wish it didn't take a tragedy to make everyone reexamine their priorities.
Most singers came out and sang appropriately chosen songs of their own or songs penned by other artists. For instance, Lenny Kravitz sang "Let Love Rule" and Madonna tried unsuccessfully to sing "Imagine".
Then you had artists who sang songs that showed they missed the purpose of the event entirely. Nelly sang his single "N Dey Say". (white boy translation: And They Say) If you happen to be one of the select few who didn't buy Nelly's companion albums, Sweat & Suit, here are a few completely irrelevant to tragedy and unfortunate series of events type lyrics:
Ha ha ha ha ha ohhhhhhhh
N dey say ohhhhhh ohh ohhhhhhhh
Ha ha ha ha ha ohhhhhhh
N dey say ohhhhh ohhh ohh
Hold up stop now let me get a look at ya,
Damn girl I ain't seen you since prom,
Come to think about it I can't believe its been that long,
I heard your man locked down now how long he gone.... Oh dat long
How the hell he get time like that?
By the way, if you close your eyes and imagine Spandau Ballet's classic hit, "True" your already halfway there. The good half.
Then there was Kenny "I'm only cuter because I've got this cowboy hat on" Chesney who sang his "another tear in my beer anthem", "I Can't Go There". Believe it or not, I love titles that have double meanings. It's like the moment I realized the movie Garden State really had nothing to do with New Jersey. It's what I do nearly every day when I decide on a blog title. I can't help it. I love witty double entendres. Still, let's just say when Kenny talks about not going there he ain't exactly talking about Sri Lanka, k?
Then we had The Golden Globes which basically has the exact opposite effect on all of the very same people. Just think, on Saturday night they were all answering phones, all very "Kumbaya". Hell, I think even Dan Ackroyd was in on the action cause as we all know from the "We Are The World" days, it ain't a fund raiser till Ackroyd is in the house... Can I get an amen?! Then the next night it's business as usual as the very same person they swayed and sang with is back to being the proverbial thorn in their side. Oh sure they all smile like they mean it, and congratulate each other on a job well done. But how many of those people mean it really. If you ask me, there's a tried and true formula to a celebrity's sincerity. It's a two-tired plan of action so listen up:
Tier 1- Watch their reaction to other nominees when they don't know you're watching. I'm talking about the awkward moments where the camera pans back to their obviously bored face or even worse, at the exact moment they choose to lean in to a loved one and mouth something that shows either disinterest or disdain.
Tier 2- Watch how the very same people react to their own nominations. If they're clapping and all smiles and they STOP when their name is mentioned, they are truly a good sport about the whole thing (or at least their trying to be). If they, however, continue to clap for themselves as a nominee that's a sure sign of false modesty if they should win. You don't clap for yourself. It's just wrong. You sit back. You do the weird wink thing Liam Neeson did. ANYTHING BUT CLAP. Because all clapping does is draw attention to the fact that you want to win and probably won't, which will make the cameraman pan back to you again which in that case well... see tier 1.
So as another Golden Globe ceremony comes to a close, we all can sit back and reflect. For us commoners, we can look back on all the highbrow movies nominated that we didn't watch and let's face it, probably never will. For the stars, it's time to let go of this year's biopic and look forward to next year's portrayal of a mentally challenged man or woman who overcomes the odds. Because it's not whether you win or lose. Rather it's about whether or not the outro music in the soundtrack of life cuts you off before you get to say thanks to those who got you there.
This weekend it was a bit of a two-fer as I caved into my curiosity and tuned in to the tsunami concert on NBC. Then, the following night, I watched nearly all the same people gather together again for The Golden Globe Awards. In fact, I just realized this is probably the one and only time in my life where I can be held accountable for Kevin Spacey's whereabouts for an entire 48 hour time frame.
The tsunami concert gave me a warm feeling inside. Not since 9-11 have I seen so many celebrities take time from their lives and gather for the sake of good. I just wish it didn't take a tragedy to make everyone reexamine their priorities.
Most singers came out and sang appropriately chosen songs of their own or songs penned by other artists. For instance, Lenny Kravitz sang "Let Love Rule" and Madonna tried unsuccessfully to sing "Imagine".
Then you had artists who sang songs that showed they missed the purpose of the event entirely. Nelly sang his single "N Dey Say". (white boy translation: And They Say) If you happen to be one of the select few who didn't buy Nelly's companion albums, Sweat & Suit, here are a few completely irrelevant to tragedy and unfortunate series of events type lyrics:
Ha ha ha ha ha ohhhhhhhh
N dey say ohhhhhh ohh ohhhhhhhh
Ha ha ha ha ha ohhhhhhh
N dey say ohhhhh ohhh ohh
Hold up stop now let me get a look at ya,
Damn girl I ain't seen you since prom,
Come to think about it I can't believe its been that long,
I heard your man locked down now how long he gone.... Oh dat long
How the hell he get time like that?
By the way, if you close your eyes and imagine Spandau Ballet's classic hit, "True" your already halfway there. The good half.
Then there was Kenny "I'm only cuter because I've got this cowboy hat on" Chesney who sang his "another tear in my beer anthem", "I Can't Go There". Believe it or not, I love titles that have double meanings. It's like the moment I realized the movie Garden State really had nothing to do with New Jersey. It's what I do nearly every day when I decide on a blog title. I can't help it. I love witty double entendres. Still, let's just say when Kenny talks about not going there he ain't exactly talking about Sri Lanka, k?
Then we had The Golden Globes which basically has the exact opposite effect on all of the very same people. Just think, on Saturday night they were all answering phones, all very "Kumbaya". Hell, I think even Dan Ackroyd was in on the action cause as we all know from the "We Are The World" days, it ain't a fund raiser till Ackroyd is in the house... Can I get an amen?! Then the next night it's business as usual as the very same person they swayed and sang with is back to being the proverbial thorn in their side. Oh sure they all smile like they mean it, and congratulate each other on a job well done. But how many of those people mean it really. If you ask me, there's a tried and true formula to a celebrity's sincerity. It's a two-tired plan of action so listen up:
Tier 1- Watch their reaction to other nominees when they don't know you're watching. I'm talking about the awkward moments where the camera pans back to their obviously bored face or even worse, at the exact moment they choose to lean in to a loved one and mouth something that shows either disinterest or disdain.
Tier 2- Watch how the very same people react to their own nominations. If they're clapping and all smiles and they STOP when their name is mentioned, they are truly a good sport about the whole thing (or at least their trying to be). If they, however, continue to clap for themselves as a nominee that's a sure sign of false modesty if they should win. You don't clap for yourself. It's just wrong. You sit back. You do the weird wink thing Liam Neeson did. ANYTHING BUT CLAP. Because all clapping does is draw attention to the fact that you want to win and probably won't, which will make the cameraman pan back to you again which in that case well... see tier 1.
So as another Golden Globe ceremony comes to a close, we all can sit back and reflect. For us commoners, we can look back on all the highbrow movies nominated that we didn't watch and let's face it, probably never will. For the stars, it's time to let go of this year's biopic and look forward to next year's portrayal of a mentally challenged man or woman who overcomes the odds. Because it's not whether you win or lose. Rather it's about whether or not the outro music in the soundtrack of life cuts you off before you get to say thanks to those who got you there.
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