Because People Love Lists
Things I Predict Will Happen In 2005 (Incidentally, a great accompaniment piece to Stuff I Learned In 2004)
1. Jude Law, by default, will become heir to the Hugh Grant, "aren't I devilishly adorable in a feminine, but totally straight dude sorta way" American's have grown to know and love.
2. Ever popular reality shows like The Simple Life, Newlyweds and The Osbournes will return and show us it is possible to have too much of a bad thing.
3. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his 15 minutes of fame, Ashton Kutcher will release the DVD, Punked: Come On Now! This Is Some Funny Shit! Why Aren't You Laughing?"
4. In an ironic twist, Topher "Don't Call Me Christopher because that's too generic" Grace will "grace" us with his presence in a number of skillfully selected, just under the radar critic darlings starring equally cool, but unaffected up and coming co-stars.
5. Britney will do some crazy ass shit.
6. In an effort to aid Tsunami victims, hitmaker David "Voices That Care" Foster will write a touching song entitled "River of Tears" with Kenny Loggins on lead vocals after nearly every other vocalist is "unavailable". (I know this looks bad Kenny, but I still love ya).
7. Nepotism will rear its ugly head when somebody, anybody's brother, sister, daughter, cousin makes it BIG in music, movies or television...completely of their own accord, of course.
8. A mysterious illness will break out amongst all talk show hosts. Tony Danza only known survivor.
9. John Kerry, hard at work in the lab for the remainder of '04, will finally reveal his new facial expression.
and, drumroll please...
10. Bloggers will have fun, fun, fun till Microsoft takes their passwords away.
1. Jude Law, by default, will become heir to the Hugh Grant, "aren't I devilishly adorable in a feminine, but totally straight dude sorta way" American's have grown to know and love.
2. Ever popular reality shows like The Simple Life, Newlyweds and The Osbournes will return and show us it is possible to have too much of a bad thing.
3. In a desperate attempt to hold onto his 15 minutes of fame, Ashton Kutcher will release the DVD, Punked: Come On Now! This Is Some Funny Shit! Why Aren't You Laughing?"
4. In an ironic twist, Topher "Don't Call Me Christopher because that's too generic" Grace will "grace" us with his presence in a number of skillfully selected, just under the radar critic darlings starring equally cool, but unaffected up and coming co-stars.
5. Britney will do some crazy ass shit.
6. In an effort to aid Tsunami victims, hitmaker David "Voices That Care" Foster will write a touching song entitled "River of Tears" with Kenny Loggins on lead vocals after nearly every other vocalist is "unavailable". (I know this looks bad Kenny, but I still love ya).
7. Nepotism will rear its ugly head when somebody, anybody's brother, sister, daughter, cousin makes it BIG in music, movies or television...completely of their own accord, of course.
8. A mysterious illness will break out amongst all talk show hosts. Tony Danza only known survivor.
9. John Kerry, hard at work in the lab for the remainder of '04, will finally reveal his new facial expression.
and, drumroll please...
10. Bloggers will have fun, fun, fun till Microsoft takes their passwords away.
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