Cleanin' Out Their Closets
The past few weeks you may have noticed there have been a rash of celebrities, forcibly proclaiming their sexuality. Of course when I say that they are announcing their sexuality, I don't mean that someone like Haley Joel Osment is shouting from a rooftop somewhere about losing his virginity. No, what I'm talking about are the actors out there who are of the same sex persuasion.
I always feel bad for celebrities when something like this happens. Honestly, it's none of our business who is sleeping with who and why. But we're voyeuristic creatures by nature, so somehow we make it our business to mind the business of others. Still, years ago it didn't seem to be that way. Maybe it's because the work of the paparazzi was just not as prevalent. After all, if there's anything time has taught us, it's that homosexuality might seem more in the public eye these days, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't going on back in the day.
While I do not work for the paparazzi and make no claim on any incriminating photos, I have been told a time or two that I have quite good "gaydar" for someone who is straight. I don't know what it is, maybe it's a generational thing, but I feel like I can sense when someone is gay, even if they cannot yet, sense it themselves. For instance, one of my best friend's in high school was a guy. At the time I had a strong sense that he was going to "end up" being gay, but we never discussed it much at length. Looking back on it, there were specific signs in his case. The biggest sign was that he had dozens of friends who were girls, but never had a girlfriend. Back then my parents always not so secretly wished I'd date a good boy like him. Fast forward a few years later when he came out to me. Suddenly they understood why that never happened.
Before I go any further let me make something else clear. Just because I have a good sense of someone's sexuality, that doesn't mean I think any different of them either way. At the risk of entering a much bigger debate, it is my opinion that homosexuality is not a choice, but a genetic predisposition. The idea that most individuals would choose to color outside the lines on something as huge as partnering is too big to ignore for me. Think of it what you will, like I said, that's just my opinion.
Still, when you take someone as pop culture oriented as myself and mix in a dash of intuition, the results are bound to be nearly scientific. So, what follows is a partial list of outed observations I have made over the years.
No Shock Department The following individuals have officially come out or pretty much have come out. Their reveals were of no surprise to me. You might notice there are quite a few former child stars on this list. What this means I don't know, I'm just putting it out there, no pun intended.
Neil Patrick Harris- The most recently outed celeb was none other than Doogie Howser M.D. For years I have been saying that Neil was gay, and this was to lukewarm reception. Some people would laugh when I said this, but some remained skeptical. When Neil finally came out I found out through an email sent by a friend of mine. The friend emailed me because she wanted to know how I knew. Elementary my dear Watson. Elementary.
Chad Allen- Chad Allen became famous in the eighties during a stint on the melodramatic Our House. Back then, he was most definitely riding the cute, blonde Rick Schroder Express gravy train. He also, incidentally, had a twin sister Chastity, who eerily looked like him. But that's not important now. Years ago, long after anyone cared, Chad came out of the closet.
Danny Pintauro- Who's The Boss? star Danny Pintauro had what was probably the most monumental outing in my eyes. That's because he is the first person I can clearly recall knowing was gay, even way back then when he was just a little boy. I woulda said I told you so, if someone was listening, that is.
Jim J. Bullock- Jim J. was like the Charles Nelson Reilly of the twenty-something set. I always found it downright hysterical that Too Close For Comfort had Jim J. Bullock's character crushing on one of Ted Knight's tv daughters. Yeah, riight that might happen.
Malcolm Gets- Along the same lines as Jim J., I never quite got why out of all the actors in the world, Caroline In The City creators chose Malcolm Gets to be the ultimate object of Lea Thompson's affections. Even more curious is the fact that I bought into this storyline, hook, line and stinker.
Sara Gilbert- I had always suspected Roseanne's Sara Gilbert was homosexual, probably for obvious reasons. But then I felt bad. Maybe I was misjudging her based on the character she played on Roseanne, albeit though it was a straight one. Then I saw her again recently on How I Met Your Mother and realized nope, that ain't no character, that's just Sara.
George Michael- Rounding out the "Duh" of domestic partnerships is George Michael. I'll never forget when it "came out" that George Michael was indeed, a homosexual man. As if the sight of him jumping around in neon short shorts for a song entitled Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go wasn't indication enough. Somewhere along the way though Michael managed to reinvent himself and fool the public for a good few years that he was some leather wearing, straight sex craving stud. Even funnier, however, was the exclusive interview I'll never forget that MTV was granted. John Norris was the correspondent they chose to deliver the hard-hitting questions to the newly outed George. I didn't give any thought going in to the interview that Norris was gay, but on my way out, I was singing a different tune, along the lines of I Can See Clearly Now.
You Don't Say Squad This list of celebrities are those I found about recently, most of which as a result of writing this post. If you take issue with any of the names mentioned below don't blame me, blame Wikipedia.
T.R. Knight- Grey's Anatomy actor T.R. Knight's sexuality was revealed in much of the same manner as Neil Patrick Harris, with force and awkward admittance. Only thing is, and I know some of you will call me crazy for this, I totally didn't see this coming. George is my favorite character on Grey's too. He's a wimpier guy, but I just took him for what I thought he was, a straight man, but a lovable loser. Well that's what his character George is anyway. T.R. on the other hand, plays for a different team entirely.
Sarah Paulson- Finding out that Studio 60's Sarah Paulson was indeed a lesbian intrigued me in more ways than one. For one thing, I had no idea that she was, not that I've given much thought to the matter. But for anyone who follows Studio 60, the fact that she is gay in real life is very interesting, given her religious character is supposed to be somewhat of a homophobe. Perhaps this is what intrigued her about taking the part. After all, they don't call it acting for nothing.
Scott Coffey- Here's where obscure Janet like references kick in to high gear. Scott Coffey has been in very few notable projects in the shambles he refers to as his career. Still, one of my favorite movies ever is the chick flick, Shag. The sweet crush he develops on Annabeth Gish's character is downright adorable. It just goes to figure he'd be too good to be true.
Samantha Fox- Sultry singer Samantha Fox hit it big in the eighties with provocative songs like Touch Me and Naughty Girls Need Love Too. In fact, it was hard getting a clean picture to link to here. Although I was just a preteen at the time, I still loved to sing along with a Samantha, although I knew her rep was less than squeaky clean, even way back then. But to hear that Samantha is a sometimes lesbian really surprised me. I guess I just figured her the "part of a harem of Hugh Hefner's" type. I guess I was wrong.
Lesley Gore- A few years ago I blogged about singer Lesley Gore's appearance in town. Never was there question of her sexuality and really, why would there be. Now I know better and suddenly, Lesley's singing a different tune along the lines of, "It's my party and I'll come out if I want to."
Say, Say, Say What You Want- Finally we have my favorite group, the carefully collected crew of speculation. These are the actors that over the years I would swear are gay, however let me just say for clarification's sake for those folks who might have wandered in off the blogging, search engine streets: I have no official proof on the matter. I know there are many, many individuals who could grace this list that I have absent-mindedly left off. It's ok though, this list is already too long anyhow.
Justin Kirk- The first time I saw Justin Kirk was not when he debuted on his hit cable show, Weeds. It wasn't even when he did that other Mary Louise Parker project where he played a homosexual man. No, the first time I saw Justin Kirk was when he played a lovable loser who lusted after Jamie Pressly on Jack and Jill. The show, while it was great, was cancelled before its time. I just as well wrongfully assumed I'd never see Kirk again, but lo and behold, I was wrong about that, too. Now I'm not so sure what team he plays on but it doesn't really matter. He's fun to watch when he plays straight, or gay.
Pauly Shore- I know that Pauly Shore is some sort of self-proclaimed sex addict. I know this because I watched that reality show he had a few years back and he said that. But if you ask me, it's really all for show. I mean honestly. Have you ever seen a straight dude come off that much like Richard Simmons?!
Jude Law- There was a time when it seemed that I could not escape anything Jude Law. When I first heard of him I thought for sure that he was too pretty to be straight, so he had to be gay. But then he got this reputation as a philandering boyfriend who stepped out on his longtime love, actress Sienna Miller. Interestingly enough he also played nearly that same exact role in the remake of Alfie. Perhaps he considered it research. Regardless I still can't decide. Is he in to boys or just too British?
Robert Downey Jr.- I don't think there has been a bigger screw up that America loved to root for. There's just something about Robert Downey Jr. that makes him like that bad ex-boyfriend of yours. No matter how many times he messes up, we always take him back. Now Downey has been clean for sometime now (knock on wood) and his lip synched version of Elton John's I Want Love still brings tears to my eyes. But there's just something about Downey that always made me second guess whether he was in to guys or girls. I know he's married now, but I'm not convinced his most definite "experimental phase" was just a phase, if you catch my drift.
Robbie Williams-Singer Robbie Williams is like Jude Law meets Robert Downey Jr. He's British and adorable, but he's also a bit of a wild child. No doubt his days of exploration had let him to a male friend or two, but if it has, Williams still maintains his lothario of a reputation with the ladies. If I was on the jury, I'd site the verdict as otherwise.
Elijah Wood- Back in the day it was Elijah vs. Macaulay Culkin in the big battle for child mogul extraordinaire. Amazingly for years, Culkin beat him by leaps and bounds, however I never understood why. To me, Elijah was always the cuter and more talented actor of the two. Fast forward some years and I believe it's still true. Only now Elijah is not all that much taller than he was back then. Still, there's no denying that Elijah is definitely in touch with his feminine side.
Peter Sarsgaard- You might know him best as a creepy character actor with a disturbing smile and a weird lisp in movies like Kinsey, Boys Don't Cry and Flightplan. If you had asked me six months ago what I thought about his sexuality I would have given him a green, not for go, but for gay. But then he had to go and mess it all up by knocking up well known indie actress Maggie Gyllenhaal. So Sarsgaard is safe, for the time being, but have no fear. I'm keeping my eye on him.
Ricky Martin- People have come right out and asked Ricky Martin about his sexuality and of course, he carefully evades the question each time. I have always felt though that if you aren't gay, wouldn't you come right out and say it? Why hide it either way? Sometimes in my mind, no answer, is an answer in itself.
Clay Aiken- Rinse and repeat what is written directly above.
Kevin Spacey- No one has been able to confirm either way whether Kevin Spacey is indeed gay or not. He plays all of his roles convincingly enough, although there is something a bit awkward about imagining him as a romantic leading man. If I was a betting man girl I'd go with yes, but your guess is as good as mine.
Jonathan Rhys Meyers- Jonathan Rhys Meyers is this year's Jude Law. He's just as pretty only he's Irish, not British. He's also a bit gayish. Reading up on Meyers only goes to prove this point. Although he played a killer Elvis, otherwise he comes off as rather androgynous most of the time.
Tom Cruise- Finally we've reached the piece de resistance, Mr. Tom Cruise. Say what you want about Cruise, I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that Cruise is not a big fan of the ladies. Does that indeed make him a homosexual man? I don't know about that. Sometimes I think he's asexual. Lately I've beginning to see him as a possible robot, poised to take over the world, one crappy blockbuster at a time. I know he got married last weekend and miraculously, without explanation, can suddenly have biological kids of his own, but that's not the point. Just put aside for a minute the fact that you thought Cruise was dreamy when you were in high school. Think about his career as a romantic leading man. I mean really think about it and you will come to the inevitable conclusion I have, I never really bought it.
So there you have it, not that you asked for it. Is there anyone who pops in your mind that I might have left "out" in the cold?
I always feel bad for celebrities when something like this happens. Honestly, it's none of our business who is sleeping with who and why. But we're voyeuristic creatures by nature, so somehow we make it our business to mind the business of others. Still, years ago it didn't seem to be that way. Maybe it's because the work of the paparazzi was just not as prevalent. After all, if there's anything time has taught us, it's that homosexuality might seem more in the public eye these days, but that doesn't mean that it wasn't going on back in the day.
While I do not work for the paparazzi and make no claim on any incriminating photos, I have been told a time or two that I have quite good "gaydar" for someone who is straight. I don't know what it is, maybe it's a generational thing, but I feel like I can sense when someone is gay, even if they cannot yet, sense it themselves. For instance, one of my best friend's in high school was a guy. At the time I had a strong sense that he was going to "end up" being gay, but we never discussed it much at length. Looking back on it, there were specific signs in his case. The biggest sign was that he had dozens of friends who were girls, but never had a girlfriend. Back then my parents always not so secretly wished I'd date a good boy like him. Fast forward a few years later when he came out to me. Suddenly they understood why that never happened.
Before I go any further let me make something else clear. Just because I have a good sense of someone's sexuality, that doesn't mean I think any different of them either way. At the risk of entering a much bigger debate, it is my opinion that homosexuality is not a choice, but a genetic predisposition. The idea that most individuals would choose to color outside the lines on something as huge as partnering is too big to ignore for me. Think of it what you will, like I said, that's just my opinion.
Still, when you take someone as pop culture oriented as myself and mix in a dash of intuition, the results are bound to be nearly scientific. So, what follows is a partial list of outed observations I have made over the years.
No Shock Department The following individuals have officially come out or pretty much have come out. Their reveals were of no surprise to me. You might notice there are quite a few former child stars on this list. What this means I don't know, I'm just putting it out there, no pun intended.
Neil Patrick Harris- The most recently outed celeb was none other than Doogie Howser M.D. For years I have been saying that Neil was gay, and this was to lukewarm reception. Some people would laugh when I said this, but some remained skeptical. When Neil finally came out I found out through an email sent by a friend of mine. The friend emailed me because she wanted to know how I knew. Elementary my dear Watson. Elementary.
Chad Allen- Chad Allen became famous in the eighties during a stint on the melodramatic Our House. Back then, he was most definitely riding the cute, blonde Rick Schroder Express gravy train. He also, incidentally, had a twin sister Chastity, who eerily looked like him. But that's not important now. Years ago, long after anyone cared, Chad came out of the closet.
Danny Pintauro- Who's The Boss? star Danny Pintauro had what was probably the most monumental outing in my eyes. That's because he is the first person I can clearly recall knowing was gay, even way back then when he was just a little boy. I woulda said I told you so, if someone was listening, that is.
Jim J. Bullock- Jim J. was like the Charles Nelson Reilly of the twenty-something set. I always found it downright hysterical that Too Close For Comfort had Jim J. Bullock's character crushing on one of Ted Knight's tv daughters. Yeah, riight that might happen.
Malcolm Gets- Along the same lines as Jim J., I never quite got why out of all the actors in the world, Caroline In The City creators chose Malcolm Gets to be the ultimate object of Lea Thompson's affections. Even more curious is the fact that I bought into this storyline, hook, line and stinker.
Sara Gilbert- I had always suspected Roseanne's Sara Gilbert was homosexual, probably for obvious reasons. But then I felt bad. Maybe I was misjudging her based on the character she played on Roseanne, albeit though it was a straight one. Then I saw her again recently on How I Met Your Mother and realized nope, that ain't no character, that's just Sara.
George Michael- Rounding out the "Duh" of domestic partnerships is George Michael. I'll never forget when it "came out" that George Michael was indeed, a homosexual man. As if the sight of him jumping around in neon short shorts for a song entitled Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go wasn't indication enough. Somewhere along the way though Michael managed to reinvent himself and fool the public for a good few years that he was some leather wearing, straight sex craving stud. Even funnier, however, was the exclusive interview I'll never forget that MTV was granted. John Norris was the correspondent they chose to deliver the hard-hitting questions to the newly outed George. I didn't give any thought going in to the interview that Norris was gay, but on my way out, I was singing a different tune, along the lines of I Can See Clearly Now.
You Don't Say Squad This list of celebrities are those I found about recently, most of which as a result of writing this post. If you take issue with any of the names mentioned below don't blame me, blame Wikipedia.
T.R. Knight- Grey's Anatomy actor T.R. Knight's sexuality was revealed in much of the same manner as Neil Patrick Harris, with force and awkward admittance. Only thing is, and I know some of you will call me crazy for this, I totally didn't see this coming. George is my favorite character on Grey's too. He's a wimpier guy, but I just took him for what I thought he was, a straight man, but a lovable loser. Well that's what his character George is anyway. T.R. on the other hand, plays for a different team entirely.
Sarah Paulson- Finding out that Studio 60's Sarah Paulson was indeed a lesbian intrigued me in more ways than one. For one thing, I had no idea that she was, not that I've given much thought to the matter. But for anyone who follows Studio 60, the fact that she is gay in real life is very interesting, given her religious character is supposed to be somewhat of a homophobe. Perhaps this is what intrigued her about taking the part. After all, they don't call it acting for nothing.
Scott Coffey- Here's where obscure Janet like references kick in to high gear. Scott Coffey has been in very few notable projects in the shambles he refers to as his career. Still, one of my favorite movies ever is the chick flick, Shag. The sweet crush he develops on Annabeth Gish's character is downright adorable. It just goes to figure he'd be too good to be true.
Samantha Fox- Sultry singer Samantha Fox hit it big in the eighties with provocative songs like Touch Me and Naughty Girls Need Love Too. In fact, it was hard getting a clean picture to link to here. Although I was just a preteen at the time, I still loved to sing along with a Samantha, although I knew her rep was less than squeaky clean, even way back then. But to hear that Samantha is a sometimes lesbian really surprised me. I guess I just figured her the "part of a harem of Hugh Hefner's" type. I guess I was wrong.
Lesley Gore- A few years ago I blogged about singer Lesley Gore's appearance in town. Never was there question of her sexuality and really, why would there be. Now I know better and suddenly, Lesley's singing a different tune along the lines of, "It's my party and I'll come out if I want to."
Say, Say, Say What You Want- Finally we have my favorite group, the carefully collected crew of speculation. These are the actors that over the years I would swear are gay, however let me just say for clarification's sake for those folks who might have wandered in off the blogging, search engine streets: I have no official proof on the matter. I know there are many, many individuals who could grace this list that I have absent-mindedly left off. It's ok though, this list is already too long anyhow.
Justin Kirk- The first time I saw Justin Kirk was not when he debuted on his hit cable show, Weeds. It wasn't even when he did that other Mary Louise Parker project where he played a homosexual man. No, the first time I saw Justin Kirk was when he played a lovable loser who lusted after Jamie Pressly on Jack and Jill. The show, while it was great, was cancelled before its time. I just as well wrongfully assumed I'd never see Kirk again, but lo and behold, I was wrong about that, too. Now I'm not so sure what team he plays on but it doesn't really matter. He's fun to watch when he plays straight, or gay.
Pauly Shore- I know that Pauly Shore is some sort of self-proclaimed sex addict. I know this because I watched that reality show he had a few years back and he said that. But if you ask me, it's really all for show. I mean honestly. Have you ever seen a straight dude come off that much like Richard Simmons?!
Jude Law- There was a time when it seemed that I could not escape anything Jude Law. When I first heard of him I thought for sure that he was too pretty to be straight, so he had to be gay. But then he got this reputation as a philandering boyfriend who stepped out on his longtime love, actress Sienna Miller. Interestingly enough he also played nearly that same exact role in the remake of Alfie. Perhaps he considered it research. Regardless I still can't decide. Is he in to boys or just too British?
Robert Downey Jr.- I don't think there has been a bigger screw up that America loved to root for. There's just something about Robert Downey Jr. that makes him like that bad ex-boyfriend of yours. No matter how many times he messes up, we always take him back. Now Downey has been clean for sometime now (knock on wood) and his lip synched version of Elton John's I Want Love still brings tears to my eyes. But there's just something about Downey that always made me second guess whether he was in to guys or girls. I know he's married now, but I'm not convinced his most definite "experimental phase" was just a phase, if you catch my drift.
Robbie Williams-Singer Robbie Williams is like Jude Law meets Robert Downey Jr. He's British and adorable, but he's also a bit of a wild child. No doubt his days of exploration had let him to a male friend or two, but if it has, Williams still maintains his lothario of a reputation with the ladies. If I was on the jury, I'd site the verdict as otherwise.
Elijah Wood- Back in the day it was Elijah vs. Macaulay Culkin in the big battle for child mogul extraordinaire. Amazingly for years, Culkin beat him by leaps and bounds, however I never understood why. To me, Elijah was always the cuter and more talented actor of the two. Fast forward some years and I believe it's still true. Only now Elijah is not all that much taller than he was back then. Still, there's no denying that Elijah is definitely in touch with his feminine side.
Peter Sarsgaard- You might know him best as a creepy character actor with a disturbing smile and a weird lisp in movies like Kinsey, Boys Don't Cry and Flightplan. If you had asked me six months ago what I thought about his sexuality I would have given him a green, not for go, but for gay. But then he had to go and mess it all up by knocking up well known indie actress Maggie Gyllenhaal. So Sarsgaard is safe, for the time being, but have no fear. I'm keeping my eye on him.
Ricky Martin- People have come right out and asked Ricky Martin about his sexuality and of course, he carefully evades the question each time. I have always felt though that if you aren't gay, wouldn't you come right out and say it? Why hide it either way? Sometimes in my mind, no answer, is an answer in itself.
Clay Aiken- Rinse and repeat what is written directly above.
Kevin Spacey- No one has been able to confirm either way whether Kevin Spacey is indeed gay or not. He plays all of his roles convincingly enough, although there is something a bit awkward about imagining him as a romantic leading man. If I was a betting
Jonathan Rhys Meyers- Jonathan Rhys Meyers is this year's Jude Law. He's just as pretty only he's Irish, not British. He's also a bit gayish. Reading up on Meyers only goes to prove this point. Although he played a killer Elvis, otherwise he comes off as rather androgynous most of the time.
Tom Cruise- Finally we've reached the piece de resistance, Mr. Tom Cruise. Say what you want about Cruise, I truly believe, in my heart of hearts, that Cruise is not a big fan of the ladies. Does that indeed make him a homosexual man? I don't know about that. Sometimes I think he's asexual. Lately I've beginning to see him as a possible robot, poised to take over the world, one crappy blockbuster at a time. I know he got married last weekend and miraculously, without explanation, can suddenly have biological kids of his own, but that's not the point. Just put aside for a minute the fact that you thought Cruise was dreamy when you were in high school. Think about his career as a romantic leading man. I mean really think about it and you will come to the inevitable conclusion I have, I never really bought it.
So there you have it, not that you asked for it. Is there anyone who pops in your mind that I might have left "out" in the cold?
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