RSV Pissed
There's no one who knows better than me just how behind you can get in things.
Back in February I lost my teacher's assistant, then I got engaged, then I got sick, among a few other random things. Let's just say I'm still playing catch up.
But even with all I've got going on these days, I haven't lost sight of proper etiquette. If you call me, I call you back. If you email me, I will send you a message. And if you invite me to something. I definitely will RSVP.
RSVP's are the kind of thing I never gave much thought to. You get an invitation, you check your calendar, you decide if you can or cannot go to something by the date given on the card (or email). More often than not I've been on the receiving end and done my job promptly. It's simple really.
But now the tables have turned and I'm the one asking people to RSVP. This is how I'm frustratingly discovering that not everyone feels the same about responding as I do. As if this wasn't bad enough, I currently have two RSVP situations in the mix.
The first one is a smallish engagement party my parents are having at my house this month. We didn't want to invite too many people because then it would feel like another wedding. We decided to do something at the house and have the food catered by the same place where I am having the reception. This way you kill two guests with one eggplant parmigiana, so to speak. Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Anyway, after pulling teeth to comprise an address list, off the invites went. And we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Initially we had enough "no's" from our "A" list that we were able to go to our "B" list. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the "B" list people were less important, it just meant that inviting all of the B-listers
meant opening up a whole can of worms, invite wise. You know, the whole you can't invite "Aunt Sally's kids" without inviting "Aunt Rhoda's kids" type of stuff. For the record, neither one of us have an Aunt Sally or Aunt Rhoda, but I'd like to thank Sally and Rhoda for playing along today.
Because the B-listers got their invites a few days after the A-listers, we made their RSVP date a bit later, too. Now you know it's bad when B-listers begin to respond before the A-listers. It makes you wish you could rearrange the whole family tree in order to make B-listers, A-listers, but I digress. As of this writing, however, the dates have passed for both lists so it's now safe to say that those who didn't respond, aren't going to.
The second RSVP situation I'm currently in is at school where I'm throwing a baby shower for a friend of mine. It can't be a surprise for a few different reasons so at least I have that on my side. Still, I wanted to be able to get the word out there without her having to hear about every last detail. But considering I've never thrown a baby shower before, ever this turned out to be a huge undertaking for a first timer like me. Normally at our school such types of events are thrown on a grade level basis. Unfortunately, my friend works with all the grade levels except kindergarten. So it just became easier to get the word out to everyone, in theory.
Since we work for a huge school, I came up with a plan of action. I chose one teacher from each grade level to get the word out. I figured from there, that point person could get the word back to me. Then I could get a head count and decide just what type of shower to throw her and how much supplies we would need. Only problem was the people I chose didn't consistently work on doing the asking. I don't really know where the breakdown in communication occurred. Maybe it was the point person's fault, maybe it was the grade level's fault. Either way, it just wasn't working.
There were a few reasons the lack of communication was ironic. For one thing, as anyone who works anywhere for awhile knows, gossip spreads like wildfire. Now here I have something I want to get around, and no one is talking about it! Talk about ass backwards. The other thing that always gets me is the population you are dealing with. We are teachers. We are in the business of teaching manners, promptness and responsibility. Yet it never fails. Every time we are at a faculty meeting, teachers talk while the speaker is talking, something we reprimand children for every day. Teachers are the same way with deadlines. Children don't hand an assignment in on time and they get punished. Meanwhile many teachers are missing deadlines left and right. Pot, kettle, black.
But perhaps the worst part is this. Here are two different situations, with two different groups of people and yet there are the SAME results. When something like that happens twice, can you really call it a fluke? Apparently a degree of rudeness will permeate in a random sect of the population. To be honest, I have a hard time seeing people the same way though after seeing them in a negative light. People I otherwise attended events for and responded to in a timely manner suddenly get added to my **it list. I can't help it. Once common decency is lacking it makes me wonder about what else I don't know about. I'm sure that sounds harsh, but it's how I roll.
You know what proof that rudeness is here to stay? This is where "Save The Date" items for weddings came from. People were sick of the excuses, so instead they tell you six to eight months in advance, this way you can't possibly say you have something going on. They sent you the magnet, so essentially they got you, period. End of story. Personally I don't like them because I think they are too presumptuous. You are essentially saying that you want the invitee to make you a priority.
This also in turn ultimately effects my reaction to future events. Oh you want me to come to your son's first birthday party? I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to be washing my hair that day or out of the country. Lame ass excuses by the way are just as bad as the ones who don't respond at all. Sometimes you say more when you say nothing at all.
Needless to say both parties will get done somehow, someway. But if this is a foreshadowing of wedding woes to come, people better watch out cause I'll be coming for ya. Like Alec Baldwin I'll call you up and "straighten your ass out". So have a heart, people. RSVP or you have to deal with pissed off people, like me.
Back in February I lost my teacher's assistant, then I got engaged, then I got sick, among a few other random things. Let's just say I'm still playing catch up.
But even with all I've got going on these days, I haven't lost sight of proper etiquette. If you call me, I call you back. If you email me, I will send you a message. And if you invite me to something. I definitely will RSVP.
RSVP's are the kind of thing I never gave much thought to. You get an invitation, you check your calendar, you decide if you can or cannot go to something by the date given on the card (or email). More often than not I've been on the receiving end and done my job promptly. It's simple really.
But now the tables have turned and I'm the one asking people to RSVP. This is how I'm frustratingly discovering that not everyone feels the same about responding as I do. As if this wasn't bad enough, I currently have two RSVP situations in the mix.
The first one is a smallish engagement party my parents are having at my house this month. We didn't want to invite too many people because then it would feel like another wedding. We decided to do something at the house and have the food catered by the same place where I am having the reception. This way you kill two guests with one eggplant parmigiana, so to speak. Wait, that doesn't sound right.
Anyway, after pulling teeth to comprise an address list, off the invites went. And we waited. And waited. And waited some more. Initially we had enough "no's" from our "A" list that we were able to go to our "B" list. Now that doesn't necessarily mean the "B" list people were less important, it just meant that inviting all of the B-listers
meant opening up a whole can of worms, invite wise. You know, the whole you can't invite "Aunt Sally's kids" without inviting "Aunt Rhoda's kids" type of stuff. For the record, neither one of us have an Aunt Sally or Aunt Rhoda, but I'd like to thank Sally and Rhoda for playing along today.
Because the B-listers got their invites a few days after the A-listers, we made their RSVP date a bit later, too. Now you know it's bad when B-listers begin to respond before the A-listers. It makes you wish you could rearrange the whole family tree in order to make B-listers, A-listers, but I digress. As of this writing, however, the dates have passed for both lists so it's now safe to say that those who didn't respond, aren't going to.
The second RSVP situation I'm currently in is at school where I'm throwing a baby shower for a friend of mine. It can't be a surprise for a few different reasons so at least I have that on my side. Still, I wanted to be able to get the word out there without her having to hear about every last detail. But considering I've never thrown a baby shower before, ever this turned out to be a huge undertaking for a first timer like me. Normally at our school such types of events are thrown on a grade level basis. Unfortunately, my friend works with all the grade levels except kindergarten. So it just became easier to get the word out to everyone, in theory.
Since we work for a huge school, I came up with a plan of action. I chose one teacher from each grade level to get the word out. I figured from there, that point person could get the word back to me. Then I could get a head count and decide just what type of shower to throw her and how much supplies we would need. Only problem was the people I chose didn't consistently work on doing the asking. I don't really know where the breakdown in communication occurred. Maybe it was the point person's fault, maybe it was the grade level's fault. Either way, it just wasn't working.
There were a few reasons the lack of communication was ironic. For one thing, as anyone who works anywhere for awhile knows, gossip spreads like wildfire. Now here I have something I want to get around, and no one is talking about it! Talk about ass backwards. The other thing that always gets me is the population you are dealing with. We are teachers. We are in the business of teaching manners, promptness and responsibility. Yet it never fails. Every time we are at a faculty meeting, teachers talk while the speaker is talking, something we reprimand children for every day. Teachers are the same way with deadlines. Children don't hand an assignment in on time and they get punished. Meanwhile many teachers are missing deadlines left and right. Pot, kettle, black.
But perhaps the worst part is this. Here are two different situations, with two different groups of people and yet there are the SAME results. When something like that happens twice, can you really call it a fluke? Apparently a degree of rudeness will permeate in a random sect of the population. To be honest, I have a hard time seeing people the same way though after seeing them in a negative light. People I otherwise attended events for and responded to in a timely manner suddenly get added to my **it list. I can't help it. Once common decency is lacking it makes me wonder about what else I don't know about. I'm sure that sounds harsh, but it's how I roll.
You know what proof that rudeness is here to stay? This is where "Save The Date" items for weddings came from. People were sick of the excuses, so instead they tell you six to eight months in advance, this way you can't possibly say you have something going on. They sent you the magnet, so essentially they got you, period. End of story. Personally I don't like them because I think they are too presumptuous. You are essentially saying that you want the invitee to make you a priority.
This also in turn ultimately effects my reaction to future events. Oh you want me to come to your son's first birthday party? I'm sorry, but I think I'm going to be washing my hair that day or out of the country. Lame ass excuses by the way are just as bad as the ones who don't respond at all. Sometimes you say more when you say nothing at all.
Needless to say both parties will get done somehow, someway. But if this is a foreshadowing of wedding woes to come, people better watch out cause I'll be coming for ya. Like Alec Baldwin I'll call you up and "straighten your ass out". So have a heart, people. RSVP or you have to deal with pissed off people, like me.
<< Home