I Can't Help Falling In Love With You...and You and You
There's a new show on HBO that has gotten everyone talking.
Ok, maybe not everyone. But some people, definitely. Mostly they're the folks of the "do radio and sit behind a mic variety". I'm sure you know a few of those, too.
Big Love is a show about a polygamist Bill Henrickson played by Bill Paxton, who is married to three wives from three different generations.
The oldest wive is Barbara Dutton Henrickson played by Jeanne Tripplehorn. She's the leader of the wives and the most level headed of the three. The second wive is the selfish Nicki Grant, Chloe Sevigny who has problems with debt and always runs to daddy to bail her out of trouble. The third wive is the young Margene Heffman, Ginnifer Goodwin. At 21, Margene is the most inexperienced of the three in life and and in marriage. This, at times, makes her easy to manipulate.
So this show got me thinking. In college I had a Mormon roommate who got offended when anyone implied Mormon's still had multiple wives. Maybe for the most part this is true. But I know a few people, men especially, where the more the merrier adage doesn't seem like a half bad idea.
This is why I compiled a list of what I like to call The Perks of Polygamy:
1. Ladies, you no longer need to feel bad on the nights you have your period! Since you share your wifely duties with two other women, there's always someone around to pick up the slack. Unless of course you believe that all women who are around each other eventually get on the same cycle. That would suck.
2. You would never get sick of the other person! With a hypothetical three wives like Bill has, you only have to see that person every third day. This leaves a lot more to catch up on and a lot more of what I like to call "absence makes the heart grow fonder" moments when you do. It also breaks up awkward "how was your day?" dinner conversations.
3. You now have built in girlfriends to watch American Idol with! Face it. Watching shows like American Idol just isn't the same when you watch them alone. Make some popcorn, wrestle up the wives and make it a family affair!
4. There's not as much pressure to cook dinner every night. For many wives, the pressure of what to make for dinner can take its toll. But with the revolving door of wifery this is no longer a problem. When it's not your night, you can pop open a can of soup. You could even switch who makes dinner for everyone each night, this way you always have a home cooked meal!
5. You can't call it cheating, cause she reminds me of you. There is no need for the man to cheat in this scenario. Anytime he feels the urge to stray he simply needs to say Will you marry me? and there, problem solved!
6. Variety is the spice of life. Any polygamist, any smart polygamist know to switch it up a bit. After all, most men don't have just one type. Here's your chance to be the equal opportunity playa you always dreamed of being.
7. There's all for one, one for all comraderie.
Holidays like Christmas and Easter are always overflowing with people and gifts. Also your problems become the family's problems. No need to go it alone.
8. More potential team members for flag football and charades. A rainy day with nothing to do? Not a problem. Just get the family together and you've got ready made teams for anything from charades to Monopoly and anything in between. On sunny days, football and kickball and even hide and go seek take on a whole new league of fun!
9. Share the wealth. In a super sized family, your money is my money and my money is your money. A little short on cash that week? That's alright. Just go to the bank of sista wife and ask for a little loan. After all, what are sista wives for?
10. Never a dull moment! How many wives complain they don't get to see their husbands enough because they are away on business or there's no time between shuttling the kids from here to there? Now there's always something going on, but there's also always someone to help out. Feeling a little under the weather? That's ok. There's an understudy wive, waiting in the wings, willing to help you out. Remember, you might be very different but you all have one goal in common; to take care of your families and keep your husband happy.
Now what sane, red blooded man can argue with that logic?
Ok, maybe not everyone. But some people, definitely. Mostly they're the folks of the "do radio and sit behind a mic variety". I'm sure you know a few of those, too.
Big Love is a show about a polygamist Bill Henrickson played by Bill Paxton, who is married to three wives from three different generations.
The oldest wive is Barbara Dutton Henrickson played by Jeanne Tripplehorn. She's the leader of the wives and the most level headed of the three. The second wive is the selfish Nicki Grant, Chloe Sevigny who has problems with debt and always runs to daddy to bail her out of trouble. The third wive is the young Margene Heffman, Ginnifer Goodwin. At 21, Margene is the most inexperienced of the three in life and and in marriage. This, at times, makes her easy to manipulate.
So this show got me thinking. In college I had a Mormon roommate who got offended when anyone implied Mormon's still had multiple wives. Maybe for the most part this is true. But I know a few people, men especially, where the more the merrier adage doesn't seem like a half bad idea.
This is why I compiled a list of what I like to call The Perks of Polygamy:
1. Ladies, you no longer need to feel bad on the nights you have your period! Since you share your wifely duties with two other women, there's always someone around to pick up the slack. Unless of course you believe that all women who are around each other eventually get on the same cycle. That would suck.
2. You would never get sick of the other person! With a hypothetical three wives like Bill has, you only have to see that person every third day. This leaves a lot more to catch up on and a lot more of what I like to call "absence makes the heart grow fonder" moments when you do. It also breaks up awkward "how was your day?" dinner conversations.
3. You now have built in girlfriends to watch American Idol with! Face it. Watching shows like American Idol just isn't the same when you watch them alone. Make some popcorn, wrestle up the wives and make it a family affair!
4. There's not as much pressure to cook dinner every night. For many wives, the pressure of what to make for dinner can take its toll. But with the revolving door of wifery this is no longer a problem. When it's not your night, you can pop open a can of soup. You could even switch who makes dinner for everyone each night, this way you always have a home cooked meal!
5. You can't call it cheating, cause she reminds me of you. There is no need for the man to cheat in this scenario. Anytime he feels the urge to stray he simply needs to say Will you marry me? and there, problem solved!
6. Variety is the spice of life. Any polygamist, any smart polygamist know to switch it up a bit. After all, most men don't have just one type. Here's your chance to be the equal opportunity playa you always dreamed of being.
7. There's all for one, one for all comraderie.
Holidays like Christmas and Easter are always overflowing with people and gifts. Also your problems become the family's problems. No need to go it alone.
8. More potential team members for flag football and charades. A rainy day with nothing to do? Not a problem. Just get the family together and you've got ready made teams for anything from charades to Monopoly and anything in between. On sunny days, football and kickball and even hide and go seek take on a whole new league of fun!
9. Share the wealth. In a super sized family, your money is my money and my money is your money. A little short on cash that week? That's alright. Just go to the bank of sista wife and ask for a little loan. After all, what are sista wives for?
10. Never a dull moment! How many wives complain they don't get to see their husbands enough because they are away on business or there's no time between shuttling the kids from here to there? Now there's always something going on, but there's also always someone to help out. Feeling a little under the weather? That's ok. There's an understudy wive, waiting in the wings, willing to help you out. Remember, you might be very different but you all have one goal in common; to take care of your families and keep your husband happy.
Now what sane, red blooded man can argue with that logic?
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