Write Back Weekend "In The Eye of the Beholder"
First of all, my apologies to anyone who might've tried to reach me via my email address, janet@theartofgettingby.com. I noticed I wasn't getting Haloscan comments delievered, but that happens occassionally anyway, so I didn't think much of it and didn't have the time to investigate.
When I finally did, I realized that apparently my quota was up and I had to purge all of incoming mail directly from the server. I did not have any warning this was going to happen. I guess they could have sent an email about it, but considering the inbox was full, that system wouldn't work too well, now would it?
Needless to say if you tried to send me something and it bounced back, feel free now to resend. Now on to more important matters...like ugly people.
This Tuesday the questions were:
1. Which supposed good looking celebs do you disagree with?
2. Which celebs do you think have faces only a mother can love?
Some of you I noticed, chose very wisely and you might even recognize a name or two of your choices on my lists.
The Just Don't Get It Crew
1. Antonio Banderas- Ok, I realize that women have swooned in his presence for years, but honestly I don't see what the fuss is all about. Maybe I'm just not in to the Latin lover thing. I don't know.
2. Julia Roberts- This is not to say that I think Julia is ugly, cause I don't. I do, however, think makeup makes a BIG difference with Julia, as it does for many, many celebs. I just don't think she's all that and a bag of chips, ok? In my mind, Pretty Woman should be remained to Eh, She's Aiight Chick.
3. Fabio- Listen, the men who seemingly have an overabundance of testosterone just do not do it for me AT ALL. This is what I like to refer to as the Chippendales factor. Chances are if they would, could or did ever work at Chippendales, I would have no interest. Give me a dorky slim guy over the big buff bad ass any day. I can't believe it's not butter? Try I can't believe it's not BETTER.
4. Rod Stewart- So girls everywhere might not be throwing their panties up on stage in droves like they once were, but there are still a lot of women that think Rod Stewart was and is hot, with or without the buckets of money he has. There is one thing I'll give him. I know he's older, but at least the man hasn't really changed all that much. Although I was way too young, from pictures I've seen I wouldn't have found him sexy in the seventies either. Thank God, he finally stopped asking us to let him know.
5. Sean Connery- I am not hating on the geriatric crew at all. I never found Connery attractive, not even when I catch him in the heyday of his sex symbol status as Bond. Now it's just worse because the man looks like a wax figure. And what is up with that accent anyway? Allegedly he's Scottish but you and I both know that's not only Scottish going on. It's more like Scottish meets speech impediment. I'll take the rapists for 500, Alex.
6. Lara Flynn Boyle- Give the girl a sandwich, don't give the girl a sandwich. Either way, my answer would be the same. The girl was is and will always be NADA. A gold star to whomever gets that quote by the way.:)
7. Rose McGowan- She made an ugly move by going out with an ugly man (Marilyn Manson) and doing lots of relatively ugly things. Then she went "legit" with Charmed which is also an ugly show. She's voluptous. But beyond that, I don't get it.
8. Melissa Joan Hart- Melissa is *this* close to being pretty, but there's something that has gone horribly wrong. It's the lazy eye thing I think. Normally, that doesn't bother me. But she feels like somebody I know. Like she could be my cousin or something. And the thought that a lazy eyed cousin is raking in THAT much do just doesn't sit right with me.
9. Stacy Ferguson, late twenties, early thirties edition- As I've stated before on this blog, I wanted to BE Stacy Ferguson, long before her "Fergie" days. All of my friends who watched Kids Incorporated did. She used to be adorable and pretty, all at the same time. But then something happened. I don't know if she did it or mother nature did, but either way, put a fork in this one cause she's DONE.
10. Heather Graham- Just as with many people on this list, I don't think Heather is ugly, I just don't think she's anywhere near being the goddess men make her out to be. A great body, I'll give her, but I'm not even sure all of it is real. And if you take away the blonde hair and makeup? Not nearly as rollergirl-a-riffic.
Faces Only A Mother Could Love
Of course, this list is much longer so I will attempt to find some brevity.
1. Philip Seymour Hoffman- Here's the thing. Philip, along with many other candidates on this list, lose points in style, but make up for it in substance. He's an ugly man, but he's an excellent actor so in a way, the two sorta cancel each other out.
2. Steve Buscemi- Poor Steve. Whenever anyone, anywhere is making a list of ugly celebs, Steve almost always makes the cut. As for the man himself, see the rule that applies to Philip above.
3. Paul Giamatti- In the trifecta of hot actors right now that aren't hot, Paul Giamatti rounds out the trio nicely. They may be ugly, but every movie needs a character that could be that guy you know. Right now, Paul G has cornered that market and does not seem to be going anywhere for awhile.
4. Harvey Keitel- Long before the days of Buscemi, Hoffman and Giamatti there was Keitel. And as Carly Simon once said, nobody does it better. Not only is this man ugly, someone decided that in the name of equality of the sexes, we're going to make this man, above all other exempt male actors, naked in a movie. Thanks, thanks a lot.
5. Adam Carolla- Back when I was in high school was when I first saw Adam Carolla. He was then co-hosting MTV's Loveline. My hatred of him flared up to something bigger than it had to be because not only is this man ugly, he's also as far as I can tell, talentless. The men above are not easy on the eyes, but at least they bring something to the table.
6. Corey Feldman- Perhaps the most controversial inclusion on this list, I have never seen the appeal of Corey Feldman. Luckily, after the year 1989, most of you stopped seeing the appeal as well. In the old school batter of Haim vs. Feldman, Haim prevailed. What Haim looks like now is another story entirely.
7. All The Members of Kiss- Just as Julia Roberts above, the guys from Kiss hid behind the magic of makeup for years. But then some genius decided the boys should release an album without makeup. It looked a little something like this. Needless to say, this is why the members of Kiss take the cake with or without eye shadow and foundation.
8. Chloe Sevigny- Now Chloe is a tough one. She's what I like to refer to as the almost pretty chick. You know. They talked about them in Clueless. She's a full on Monet. Far away she's ok, but up close it's just a big ol' mess. Amazingly, she has done some modeling over the years but she's one of those "I model because I'm ugly and my unique look will certainly catch your attention" type models. Currently she stars on HBO's Big Love and she struts around with long hair and Mormon preacher garb. The look completes her.
9. Martha Plimpton- Before Chloe, there was Martha. Anything that has been said about Chole can also apply to Martha. In fact, I'd love to see a movie where these two women play sisters. A remake of Cinderella, perhaps? For years, Juliette Lewis could have fit in with these ladies nicely, but she has, as Gloria Estefan once said, seemed to have "come out of the dark".
10. Any Baldwin that's NOT Alec- I submit for your approval, the Baldwin family. They are truly a modern medical marvel. This is because while brothers William, Daniel, Stephen and Alec all totally look like they are related, Alec's gene pool works where his brothers do not. William had a bit of a reprieve, but that passport has long since expired. Think Patrick Swayze (in his early days) vs. Don Swayze and you'll know what I'm talking about.
So close, yet so far away.
When I finally did, I realized that apparently my quota was up and I had to purge all of incoming mail directly from the server. I did not have any warning this was going to happen. I guess they could have sent an email about it, but considering the inbox was full, that system wouldn't work too well, now would it?
Needless to say if you tried to send me something and it bounced back, feel free now to resend. Now on to more important matters...like ugly people.
This Tuesday the questions were:
1. Which supposed good looking celebs do you disagree with?
2. Which celebs do you think have faces only a mother can love?
Some of you I noticed, chose very wisely and you might even recognize a name or two of your choices on my lists.
The Just Don't Get It Crew
1. Antonio Banderas- Ok, I realize that women have swooned in his presence for years, but honestly I don't see what the fuss is all about. Maybe I'm just not in to the Latin lover thing. I don't know.
2. Julia Roberts- This is not to say that I think Julia is ugly, cause I don't. I do, however, think makeup makes a BIG difference with Julia, as it does for many, many celebs. I just don't think she's all that and a bag of chips, ok? In my mind, Pretty Woman should be remained to Eh, She's Aiight Chick.
3. Fabio- Listen, the men who seemingly have an overabundance of testosterone just do not do it for me AT ALL. This is what I like to refer to as the Chippendales factor. Chances are if they would, could or did ever work at Chippendales, I would have no interest. Give me a dorky slim guy over the big buff bad ass any day. I can't believe it's not butter? Try I can't believe it's not BETTER.
4. Rod Stewart- So girls everywhere might not be throwing their panties up on stage in droves like they once were, but there are still a lot of women that think Rod Stewart was and is hot, with or without the buckets of money he has. There is one thing I'll give him. I know he's older, but at least the man hasn't really changed all that much. Although I was way too young, from pictures I've seen I wouldn't have found him sexy in the seventies either. Thank God, he finally stopped asking us to let him know.
5. Sean Connery- I am not hating on the geriatric crew at all. I never found Connery attractive, not even when I catch him in the heyday of his sex symbol status as Bond. Now it's just worse because the man looks like a wax figure. And what is up with that accent anyway? Allegedly he's Scottish but you and I both know that's not only Scottish going on. It's more like Scottish meets speech impediment. I'll take the rapists for 500, Alex.
6. Lara Flynn Boyle- Give the girl a sandwich, don't give the girl a sandwich. Either way, my answer would be the same. The girl was is and will always be NADA. A gold star to whomever gets that quote by the way.:)
7. Rose McGowan- She made an ugly move by going out with an ugly man (Marilyn Manson) and doing lots of relatively ugly things. Then she went "legit" with Charmed which is also an ugly show. She's voluptous. But beyond that, I don't get it.
8. Melissa Joan Hart- Melissa is *this* close to being pretty, but there's something that has gone horribly wrong. It's the lazy eye thing I think. Normally, that doesn't bother me. But she feels like somebody I know. Like she could be my cousin or something. And the thought that a lazy eyed cousin is raking in THAT much do just doesn't sit right with me.
9. Stacy Ferguson, late twenties, early thirties edition- As I've stated before on this blog, I wanted to BE Stacy Ferguson, long before her "Fergie" days. All of my friends who watched Kids Incorporated did. She used to be adorable and pretty, all at the same time. But then something happened. I don't know if she did it or mother nature did, but either way, put a fork in this one cause she's DONE.
10. Heather Graham- Just as with many people on this list, I don't think Heather is ugly, I just don't think she's anywhere near being the goddess men make her out to be. A great body, I'll give her, but I'm not even sure all of it is real. And if you take away the blonde hair and makeup? Not nearly as rollergirl-a-riffic.
Faces Only A Mother Could Love
Of course, this list is much longer so I will attempt to find some brevity.
1. Philip Seymour Hoffman- Here's the thing. Philip, along with many other candidates on this list, lose points in style, but make up for it in substance. He's an ugly man, but he's an excellent actor so in a way, the two sorta cancel each other out.
2. Steve Buscemi- Poor Steve. Whenever anyone, anywhere is making a list of ugly celebs, Steve almost always makes the cut. As for the man himself, see the rule that applies to Philip above.
3. Paul Giamatti- In the trifecta of hot actors right now that aren't hot, Paul Giamatti rounds out the trio nicely. They may be ugly, but every movie needs a character that could be that guy you know. Right now, Paul G has cornered that market and does not seem to be going anywhere for awhile.
4. Harvey Keitel- Long before the days of Buscemi, Hoffman and Giamatti there was Keitel. And as Carly Simon once said, nobody does it better. Not only is this man ugly, someone decided that in the name of equality of the sexes, we're going to make this man, above all other exempt male actors, naked in a movie. Thanks, thanks a lot.
5. Adam Carolla- Back when I was in high school was when I first saw Adam Carolla. He was then co-hosting MTV's Loveline. My hatred of him flared up to something bigger than it had to be because not only is this man ugly, he's also as far as I can tell, talentless. The men above are not easy on the eyes, but at least they bring something to the table.
6. Corey Feldman- Perhaps the most controversial inclusion on this list, I have never seen the appeal of Corey Feldman. Luckily, after the year 1989, most of you stopped seeing the appeal as well. In the old school batter of Haim vs. Feldman, Haim prevailed. What Haim looks like now is another story entirely.
7. All The Members of Kiss- Just as Julia Roberts above, the guys from Kiss hid behind the magic of makeup for years. But then some genius decided the boys should release an album without makeup. It looked a little something like this. Needless to say, this is why the members of Kiss take the cake with or without eye shadow and foundation.
8. Chloe Sevigny- Now Chloe is a tough one. She's what I like to refer to as the almost pretty chick. You know. They talked about them in Clueless. She's a full on Monet. Far away she's ok, but up close it's just a big ol' mess. Amazingly, she has done some modeling over the years but she's one of those "I model because I'm ugly and my unique look will certainly catch your attention" type models. Currently she stars on HBO's Big Love and she struts around with long hair and Mormon preacher garb. The look completes her.
9. Martha Plimpton- Before Chloe, there was Martha. Anything that has been said about Chole can also apply to Martha. In fact, I'd love to see a movie where these two women play sisters. A remake of Cinderella, perhaps? For years, Juliette Lewis could have fit in with these ladies nicely, but she has, as Gloria Estefan once said, seemed to have "come out of the dark".
10. Any Baldwin that's NOT Alec- I submit for your approval, the Baldwin family. They are truly a modern medical marvel. This is because while brothers William, Daniel, Stephen and Alec all totally look like they are related, Alec's gene pool works where his brothers do not. William had a bit of a reprieve, but that passport has long since expired. Think Patrick Swayze (in his early days) vs. Don Swayze and you'll know what I'm talking about.
So close, yet so far away.
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