A Glass Half Empty
At 29 years old old ageity (yes, that's a word I just created for the purpose of this post) has already begun to sink in.
I don't always get the music of today. Movies no longer hold the same special place in my heart. I miss the days when kids didn't have play dates and just...played. And I definitely don't get the upping the ante style pranks like this.
But no matter what generation gap issues I am going through, every generation before me has gone through the same woes. My parents might have worried that I was growing up too fast, their parents worried they were growing up too fast and so on and so forth. Of course each generation has even further valid reasoning for worrying.
Case in point, a few weeks ago my friend sent me a link to this story. In case you are too lazy to click on the link, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version here.
Apparently some companies have decided that baby phat cell phones and designer Gucci purse knockoffs are not enough for the prepubescent crowd. So now they are creating beer...for kids. One non-alcoholic Japanese beer aptly called "Kids' Beer" actually uses the slogan, "Even kids can't stand life unless they have a drink."
Yes you read that correctly. It's beer, only it's for kids and beer for kids is "safe" because it doesn't contain alcohol. Duh.
Now some might say beer without alcohol is as dumb a day full of O'Doul's and on one level, I wouldn't disagree with you. But there is a bigger picture to be seen here. Alcoholic or not alcoholic, why are marketing companies feeling the need to simulate the coolness of beer drinking to the preteen crowd?
Ok, so maybe this concept, while on the surface is a bit shocking, is not exactly revolutionary. Not so long ago I remember my parents purchasing candy cigarettes for me. You know, the kind; coated with powdered sugar so that everytime you took a "puff" it would look like you were really, truly smoking?
Which looking back on it, was really, truly sick.
Some years later I remember sitting in Mass Media class in college while we unearthed the so-called subliminal messages that had been beaming our way for most of our lives. Everythng from Absolut Ads with "Where's Waldo-like" phallic imagery to Disney cartoons with inappropriately placed content was fair game without us realizing it's impact.
But as anything else, hindsight is 20/20. This is why, as adults, most of us can look at this rationally and think beer buying for kids is a hard act to swallow. But the problem is the kids don't know that now. The kids only know that when they are no longer kids and thus this is the entire reason we have this problem in the first place!
See, kids don't truly get sarcasm in advertising and how deep it runs. They don't understand hypocritical messages and for however "worldly" they seem, they still believe the media is there to tell you what is good for you.
They can't get it because quite frankly, sometimes I still don't. What it takes is good old-fashioned parenting skills. You don't care what any marketing team says, your child should not be buying, drinking, pouring or glamorizing non alcoholic beer or the next thing you know beer bellied, pierced navel preteens will be all the rage.
And if your kid has exposure to beer, make a joke of it. Teach them the song 99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall. At the very least they'll be practicing how to count backwards. It's a skill that should keep them occupied and entertained.
And one that should come long before drinking anyhow.
I don't always get the music of today. Movies no longer hold the same special place in my heart. I miss the days when kids didn't have play dates and just...played. And I definitely don't get the upping the ante style pranks like this.
But no matter what generation gap issues I am going through, every generation before me has gone through the same woes. My parents might have worried that I was growing up too fast, their parents worried they were growing up too fast and so on and so forth. Of course each generation has even further valid reasoning for worrying.
Case in point, a few weeks ago my friend sent me a link to this story. In case you are too lazy to click on the link, I'll give you the Cliff Notes version here.
Apparently some companies have decided that baby phat cell phones and designer Gucci purse knockoffs are not enough for the prepubescent crowd. So now they are creating beer...for kids. One non-alcoholic Japanese beer aptly called "Kids' Beer" actually uses the slogan, "Even kids can't stand life unless they have a drink."
Yes you read that correctly. It's beer, only it's for kids and beer for kids is "safe" because it doesn't contain alcohol. Duh.
Now some might say beer without alcohol is as dumb a day full of O'Doul's and on one level, I wouldn't disagree with you. But there is a bigger picture to be seen here. Alcoholic or not alcoholic, why are marketing companies feeling the need to simulate the coolness of beer drinking to the preteen crowd?
Ok, so maybe this concept, while on the surface is a bit shocking, is not exactly revolutionary. Not so long ago I remember my parents purchasing candy cigarettes for me. You know, the kind; coated with powdered sugar so that everytime you took a "puff" it would look like you were really, truly smoking?
Which looking back on it, was really, truly sick.
Some years later I remember sitting in Mass Media class in college while we unearthed the so-called subliminal messages that had been beaming our way for most of our lives. Everythng from Absolut Ads with "Where's Waldo-like" phallic imagery to Disney cartoons with inappropriately placed content was fair game without us realizing it's impact.
But as anything else, hindsight is 20/20. This is why, as adults, most of us can look at this rationally and think beer buying for kids is a hard act to swallow. But the problem is the kids don't know that now. The kids only know that when they are no longer kids and thus this is the entire reason we have this problem in the first place!
See, kids don't truly get sarcasm in advertising and how deep it runs. They don't understand hypocritical messages and for however "worldly" they seem, they still believe the media is there to tell you what is good for you.
They can't get it because quite frankly, sometimes I still don't. What it takes is good old-fashioned parenting skills. You don't care what any marketing team says, your child should not be buying, drinking, pouring or glamorizing non alcoholic beer or the next thing you know beer bellied, pierced navel preteens will be all the rage.
And if your kid has exposure to beer, make a joke of it. Teach them the song 99 Bottles of Beer On The Wall. At the very least they'll be practicing how to count backwards. It's a skill that should keep them occupied and entertained.
And one that should come long before drinking anyhow.
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