Write Back Weekend "What Happens At Bachelor Parties, Stays At Bachelor Parties"

Let me introduce you to my new renter, Two Write Hands. While I definitely had a few good bids, I went with Two Write Hands because she's a twenty something, semi-sarcastically aspiring world famous blogger after my own heart.

I truly hope you won't let me down (insert puppy dog face here) and will go visit her. Lately my readers have put me to shame with the clicks over to renters. Come on y'all. Where's your sense of hospitality?

This week I asked a somewhat controversial TITMT question.

The questions were:

How do you feel about bachelor/bachelorette parties?
Do you think there's a line of what's appropriate and what's inappropriate?
Do you feel differently if your signficant other is going to the event?
Is there a different standard for men and women?

The great thing about my readers (yes, that's you) is that you all think so differently. You don't just look at what the person before you said and go, Yeah, what she said.

So it should only make sense that some of you were really cool with bachelor and bachelorette parties while others of you didn't see the need for them, period.

Now for my take.

I am not married or engaged and I never have been. I have, however, been in a committed relationship for sometime now and I can tell you this. I firmly believe that if the other person is going to cheat, you need not provide them with the opportunity to do so. They will figure out for themselves. In other words, the bachelor/ette party itself, does not breed infidelity in someone who wouldn't have done so under normal circumstances.

Now as some of the girls said, I personally wouldn't want a stripper at my bachelorette party. I'm not saying this in a coy, "No, don't shower me with gifts at a surprise party, but I'd pissed if you didn't" sorta way. I seriously have NO INTEREST in having a sweaty stranger dance up on me under any circumstances. If my friends did this I would actually be PISSED.

No, I'd much rather prefer hanging out with a few of my closest friends, and even a few acquaintances, drinking, eating and just having fun being girls. A good rule of thumb is if the gift came from Spencer's, no matter how fun, chances are I wouldn't want it.

I realize, however, that typically men are a different ball game.

A lot of men do see the bachelor party as their last hurrah! Ironically, the men that attend are often already attached to women, and therefore, have had their own "last hurrah". So in reality, bachelor parties are like the James Brown of exploitive fun. You keep saying it's your last time, until your next friend gets married that is.

Typically in my experience, women bachelorette parties have been much tamer. But then again, you can usually tell the type of party that would potentially be thrown if you a. know your mate and b. know your mate's friends. If your mate is a homebody who has a few close friends and prefers chick flicks to keg stands, then chances are this will spill over to her big night as well.

The one thing you have to watch out for though is "the friends".

More often than not I have seen friends make the big bachelor/ette night more and more about them and less and less about the bride or groom. So if the bride is a tame girl but her best friend isn't, then chances are the best friend will try to inject some of her own preferences into the evening, no matter how loud the protests.

The same goes for the guys.

If we're being honest, most women aren't worried about what their man would do, but they do worry about the man's friends. This is because your man always makes it sounds like his friends are the guilty ones and he's just along for the ride.

And guess what? He's probably telling his girlfriend or wife the exact same thing.

But truth be told, it all comes back to one word TRUST. Your significant other is probably more likely to get into a heap of trouble at a random bar then they are at a strip club.

So let's revisit something I said earlier. I don't believe you have to provide a potential cheater with any opportunity to cheat in order for him or her to cheat. I do, however, think it can have the opposite effect if you do.

Growing up I had two close friends who came from a very strict, very religious family. They weren't allowed to watch many things on tv, listen to certain songs on the radio or stay out late. But by the time these kids reached their teenage years, they rebelled FULL FORCE, becoming FAR WORSE, in my opinion, then they would have been had those things not had such strict limitations early on.

The same adage applies to relationships. I believe if you so strictly place things off limits that is just a breeding ground for your significant other to subconsciously want to seek it out. Looking at magazines like Penthouse and Playboy does not make your man want to cheat, but not being able to look does make them want to touch.

In general, that is.

Basically it all boils down to this. If that one night causes either party to be so upset that it could ruin a relationship, it isn't worth it. A successful relationship is built on compromise and the bachelor/bachelorette party is the first true symbol of that compromise.

So maybe you're not crazy about the fact your man wants to pay money to look at naked women and he feels the same about some random guy doing body shots off his bride to be. Bottom line, honesty is the best policy.

Cause honestly, if you can't be honest, you shouldn't be married.