When I'm 64
I'm still up at 25 Peeps. Just click on this link to keep me there!
Every once and awhile, mainly when I want a good chuckle, I'll check out the local real estate listings.
It doesn't matter if I'm on the internet or if I'm kickin it old school, paper in hand. The martyr in me can't resist combing through the, "you can look, but you can't touch" section. The popular jock of All That's Fit To Print High School , if you will.
Although I've talked about this before you may not have been around, so here's a refresher. Real Estate in New Jersey in a word, SUCKS. Now I know there are other states that feel NJ's pain. For instance, California and New York come to mind. Developers there will pave paradise and put up a parking lot, or a four bedroom home with two walk-in closets, faster than you can say the phrase "three car garage".
Internet searches, however, are perhaps the most brutal. That's because on the internet, that wonderful super highway of opportunity, you begin to believe anything is possible. So you optimistically browse real estate sites, narrowing and defining your search, hoping to find your diamond in the rough.
So you put in your search parameters and lo an behold, there are five, count 'em, FIVE matching properties! There might be hope for you first time home owner , you can't believe your eyes. It's affordable. It's new. And it could be yours.
Then reality hits and three words rear their ugly, geriatric heads:
SENIOR LIVING COMMUNITY
It doesn't matter if these words come right out and advertise themselves or if you have to do some clever clicking. The end result is always the same. Where "A" stands for affordable, it also stands for ancient.
There are two main reasons these housing options taunt me like they do. The first reason is because as someone who has strived to find my postage stamp sized place in society, I now have a personal stake in this vendetta venture. The more senior living communities they build, the less room there leaves for me and maybe even you. The other reason is because senior living communities are growing by leaps and bounds. There is a simple reason for this though and the reason is this: The senior community itself is growing like never before.
Now part of me should be happy about this. I'm not against old people. Infact I like quite many of them and I only hope I am that cute and spry when I get to be their age. But let's face facts. My enjoying their stories and wanting to go head to head with them for the last blade of grass in the alleged "Garden State" are two very different things.
At the risk of sounding like a whiny child it JUST ISN'T FAIR! Why do seniors need so much affordable living opportunities anyhow? You want affordable? I'll give you affordable. Stay in the house you lived in the past 30 years. You know, the one where the mortgage is already paid off? Because the fact of the matter is while the starting costs of these senior homes are reasonable, they are still, in some cases, needlessly starting over. And once you add all the amenities and add ons, some in the 55 and over set actually end up breaking even. Now if that's not the kind of situation your grandparents would warn you against, I don't know what is.
And let's revisit the fact that many of the elderly have property to play with in the first place. They already got their piece of the pie. Along with Medicare. And Social Security. And discounted movie tickets. They haven't had it this good since they were under five and could ride the merry go round for free, or whatever it is they did for free back in the day.
All of this is just telling us what the Golden Girls have been saying for years. Getting old ain't nearly half as bad as it used to be. And speaking as a twenty something whose future's so bleak she's gotta stay paid, I ask you this. Knowing all we know about those golden years, why not give back to the people who really need it? That's right. This is why I propose affordable housing for adults UNDER the age of 35.
You read that right. Think about it. Who is having trouble finding longevity in any career nowadays? People under 35. Who has to put their own money away in a 401K just in case the government really does do away with social security someday? People under 35. Who really needs the water polo, aerobics and ice cream socials in order to meet like minded people? Turn up your hearing aid and say it with me, PEOPLE UNDER THIRTY FREAKIN' FIVE!
I find it ironic when older people tell younger people to enjoy and not wittle away their youth because before they know it POOF! it's gone. But if things keep going the way they are now, many young adults would say the twillight years couldn't come quickly enough. After all, people under 35 don't have much time for fun things anymore because they have to work, to save for the first house, the first child, the first college tuition and then, are you ready for this? OLD AGE. Have you had a conversation with my grandmother lately? She has more of a life than I do!
If communities like this existed when people were young there would be no need to make them when people got old. They already would have met the group of friends they would have met some fifty years later, only fifty years sooner. Now they can share memories their entire lives instead of the last ten years of their lives. See? It's a win/win situation.
It's just like Kevin Costner said in Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. Actually, come to think of it, Costner will qualify for one of those senior living communities pretty soon, right?
Never mind.
Every once and awhile, mainly when I want a good chuckle, I'll check out the local real estate listings.
It doesn't matter if I'm on the internet or if I'm kickin it old school, paper in hand. The martyr in me can't resist combing through the, "you can look, but you can't touch" section. The popular jock of All That's Fit To Print High School , if you will.
Although I've talked about this before you may not have been around, so here's a refresher. Real Estate in New Jersey in a word, SUCKS. Now I know there are other states that feel NJ's pain. For instance, California and New York come to mind. Developers there will pave paradise and put up a parking lot, or a four bedroom home with two walk-in closets, faster than you can say the phrase "three car garage".
Internet searches, however, are perhaps the most brutal. That's because on the internet, that wonderful super highway of opportunity, you begin to believe anything is possible. So you optimistically browse real estate sites, narrowing and defining your search, hoping to find your diamond in the rough.
So you put in your search parameters and lo an behold, there are five, count 'em, FIVE matching properties! There might be hope for you first time home owner , you can't believe your eyes. It's affordable. It's new. And it could be yours.
Then reality hits and three words rear their ugly, geriatric heads:
SENIOR LIVING COMMUNITY
It doesn't matter if these words come right out and advertise themselves or if you have to do some clever clicking. The end result is always the same. Where "A" stands for affordable, it also stands for ancient.
There are two main reasons these housing options taunt me like they do. The first reason is because as someone who has strived to find my postage stamp sized place in society, I now have a personal stake in this
Now part of me should be happy about this. I'm not against old people. Infact I like quite many of them and I only hope I am that cute and spry when I get to be their age. But let's face facts. My enjoying their stories and wanting to go head to head with them for the last blade of grass in the alleged "Garden State" are two very different things.
At the risk of sounding like a whiny child it JUST ISN'T FAIR! Why do seniors need so much affordable living opportunities anyhow? You want affordable? I'll give you affordable. Stay in the house you lived in the past 30 years. You know, the one where the mortgage is already paid off? Because the fact of the matter is while the starting costs of these senior homes are reasonable, they are still, in some cases, needlessly starting over. And once you add all the amenities and add ons, some in the 55 and over set actually end up breaking even. Now if that's not the kind of situation your grandparents would warn you against, I don't know what is.
And let's revisit the fact that many of the elderly have property to play with in the first place. They already got their piece of the pie. Along with Medicare. And Social Security. And discounted movie tickets. They haven't had it this good since they were under five and could ride the merry go round for free, or whatever it is they did for free back in the day.
All of this is just telling us what the Golden Girls have been saying for years. Getting old ain't nearly half as bad as it used to be. And speaking as a twenty something whose future's so bleak she's gotta stay paid, I ask you this. Knowing all we know about those golden years, why not give back to the people who really need it? That's right. This is why I propose affordable housing for adults UNDER the age of 35.
You read that right. Think about it. Who is having trouble finding longevity in any career nowadays? People under 35. Who has to put their own money away in a 401K just in case the government really does do away with social security someday? People under 35. Who really needs the water polo, aerobics and ice cream socials in order to meet like minded people? Turn up your hearing aid and say it with me, PEOPLE UNDER THIRTY FREAKIN' FIVE!
I find it ironic when older people tell younger people to enjoy and not wittle away their youth because before they know it POOF! it's gone. But if things keep going the way they are now, many young adults would say the twillight years couldn't come quickly enough. After all, people under 35 don't have much time for fun things anymore because they have to work, to save for the first house, the first child, the first college tuition and then, are you ready for this? OLD AGE. Have you had a conversation with my grandmother lately? She has more of a life than I do!
If communities like this existed when people were young there would be no need to make them when people got old. They already would have met the group of friends they would have met some fifty years later, only fifty years sooner. Now they can share memories their entire lives instead of the last ten years of their lives. See? It's a win/win situation.
It's just like Kevin Costner said in Field of Dreams. If you build it, they will come. Actually, come to think of it, Costner will qualify for one of those senior living communities pretty soon, right?
Never mind.
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