Write Back Weekend "The Fat Lady Is Singing"
Before I begin I must tell you that I was Frogged by Frog My Blog this weekend. I was lucky enough to get not one, not two but FIVE ladybugs (the highest honor in Frog My Blog land). I plan on putting the permanent button on my blog, once my template woes get remedied that is.
In the meantime, hop on over to their "pad". You might even want to sign your own blog up for a review!
I must say, y'all definitely went to town on TITMT's songs you'd never like to hear again. Who knew music that makes you want to stab yourself repeatedly with a fork would strike such a chord with you people?
Songs that we tire of are weird breed. I almost think there is a statue of limitations on any song's run and by default, any song's sickness factor. I'll give you an example. If you had asked me this question back in say 2000 I would have most definitely told you I'd be just fine if I never heard Lit's My Own Worst Enemy again. But someone, somewhere heard the desperate screams of the masses and finally slowed the throttle on that one. Now when I hear My Own Worst Enemy come on the radio I don't grimace or break out into a cold sweat. I'm back to appreciating it for what it is. A good song that just was so good, it became B-A-D.
But some songs, God bless 'em, should never get resucitated in my book. Of course in some cases they are still playing the hell out of them, for whatever the reason, so I'll probably never get my wish. Here are just a few of them...
Songs Never To Hear Again
1. Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler:Listen, Beaches was a great movie. Not only did it feature the benefits of having a lifetime female friendship, it also featured a young Mayim Bialik in her pre Blossom days. But Bette really outdid herself in the sap department on this one. And that corny Fly, Fly FLYYYY part?! Thank God Casey Kasem no longer makes long distance dedications or we'd hear this song even ten times more than we do now.
2. That's What Friends Are For- Dionne Warwick and Her Not So Psychic Friends: Growing up every Bar and Bat Mitzvah, confirmation, sweet sixteen, backyard BBQ graduation party played this song. And guests always had to gather together and do two things, get teary eyed and sway in unison. This song got so much play because it cornered the market on friendship. Think about it. There isn't really a whole lot of competition in the "songs about friendships" department. Someone needs to do something about that, pronto.
3. Celebration- Kool & The Gang: For the record I have to say that I really, really enjoy and miss some of Kool & The Gang's songs. Joanna. Misled. Cherish. All greats. But Celebration? Celebrate Good Times COME ON! It's not asking me, it's telling me and quite frankly, I don't like celebrating on demand like that.
4. Walking On the Sun- Smashmouth: When this song came out I liked it. But then they played it. And played it. And played it some more. And as if that wasn't enough they started adding it to movie trailers, tv shows and jingles. It became the song you couldn't escape, no matter how hard you tried. But I did like it, once. Enough to go out and buy the album. And on that album is a decent song called Flo. Only you'll never hear Flo. That's because Walking On The Sun never shut up long enough to have any of its sister songs have a dance at the ball. I'm sorry. I'm still bitter about this one.
5. It's Raining Men- The Weather Girls: In all honesty I never really liked this song, but it did have a novelty appeal to it, so I'll give it five seconds of fame. But oh my goodness. What would Chippendale strippers and bachelorette parties do without their It's Raining Men anthem? They'd be forced to play Celebration, that's what. It's a lose/lose situation people.
6. We Are Family- Sister Sledge: This song suffers the same fate as the friendship songs above. There aren't a hell of a lot of songs out there about family. No matter how good the message, nobody is gonna get down to Cats In The Cradle anytime soon. That's why We Are Family still gets so much play. How else do you tell the world you have all your sisters with you? I ask you this.
7. I'm Every Woman- Any Woman Who Has Ever Sang It: I don't know what it is, but any amateur African American singer who wants their shot at fame thinks their meal ticket is singing I'm Every Woman. Ironically that makes you just like every woman. Pick another damn song! Then maybe you'll be known as the woman not like every woman. Besides, since when is being exactly like everyone else a good thing, anyway?
8. Don't Worry, Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin: When Don't Worry Be Happy came out this is when I got my first cold, hard glimpse into the cynical human being I was about to grow into. I know it's a "happy go lucky" song and all, but hello, he's talking about some serious issues in there! Somebody took the dude's bed. His rent is late. He has no lady. But he should just NOT worry about it?! Getting a pimple. Burning some toast. These are the types of things you shouldn't let get you down. But it sounds like McFerrin had much bigger fish to fry. Which reminds me, up till now I totally thought this was McFerrin's song. But when I Googled the lyrics, Bob Marley came up. So now it's official. I have negative respect for the "talents" of Mr. McFerrin.
9. Follow Me- Uncle Kracker: Yes, it's catchy. But let's just say the ringtone residue of this one still haunts me to this day.
10. From This Moment- Shania Twain (with or without the duet): I have to admit, I've never been a bit Shania fan. I just don't think she can sing all that well. There I said it. I feel so much better. Unfortunately if you got married between the years of 2001-2005 you probably felt differently than I. I'll never forget the time my friend who got married right around that time cornered me on my feelings for the song. Only after I went on my rant about how much I wanted to like it, but hated it did she reveal that was to be their wedding song. Ouch. Open mouth. Insert foot here.
The next group of songs are different from the ones listed above. This lot has no reedemable qualities whatsoever. Seriously. What are people thinking?!
Songs I Wish I Never Heard In The First Place
1. She Bangs- Ricky Martin: Let the record show that I hated this song long before William Hung made it his own. In fact, the fact that someone like William Hung could take a song like this and make it his own speaks volumes. Martin was Livin The Vida Loca alright. Crazy in the head for recording this garbage.
2. Who Let the Dogs Out?- The Baha Men: Do I really need to go into the reasons why this song is so deserved of being on this list? Oh and lookee here. It's a one hit wonder, too. Shocker. Moving on.
3. Live For Loving You- Gloria Estefan: When I think about Gloria Estefan I can clearly break my feelings into two categories, when I liked Gloria/when I despised Gloria. Anything For You. 1,2,3. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You. Words Get In The Way. All of these are great Gloria songs, with or without the "Machine". But then the early 90s hit and something changed. I don't know to this day if it's her or if it's me. But she started coming out with crap like Live For Loving You and that God awful, nails on a chalkboard remake of Turn The Beat Around. Suffice it to say I've never looked at Gloria the same since 1990.
4. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney: I love Paul McCartney as much as the next girl. Hell, I share a birthdate with the man! But I don't get how you can take someone as wonderful as Paul McCartney and something as glorious as Christmas, put them together, and wind up with a big ol' mess. It's like mixing whipped cream and cheese. Whipped cream is delicious. Cheese is delicious. But together? Not so delicious.
5. That's The Way (Uh Huh) I Like It- KC and the Sunshine Band: I've said it before, I'll say it again. THE 70's SCARED ME. In fact, if I had wanted to I could have created a list, solely comprised of seventies songs that scared me. But I decided to be an equal opportunity hater instead. As for this song, I just think it's redundant, silly and obnoxious. Conversationally, saying Uh Huh is alright, but over and over with a dance beat behind it? In a word, grating.
6. Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?- Chicago: Ahh Chicago. How could such a great band go so wrong? This song always irked me. For one thing, I have no idea what this song is about. How watches are overrated? How time if fleeting? All I know is that it sounds like a lounge act gone bad.
7. Make Em Say Uh!- Master P: This song is proof that some rappers will take anything, and I do mean anything, and try to make it a hit. Repeating Uhh! Na, na, na over and over is actually the chorus of this song. It's as if he came up with the idea for this one will sitting on the toilet which is perfect, because it's exactly where this song should be, in the crapper.
8. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm- Crash Test Dummies: Let's get something straight. There are songs that are novelty and then there are songs that are ridiculous. Weird Al does novelty and he does it well. But Crash Test Dummies are only like, part novelty. The other half of the time they seem to be actually taking themselves sorta seriously. Needless to say, everything about this band creeps out. Their name, their look and ultimately, their lack of talent. Thankfully everything there is to be said about them can be said in past tense.
9. Rock Me Amadeus- Falco: Part of me feels halfway bad that about to diss a man who is no longer alive to defend himself. But then I think if he were alive, who knows if the man would have tried to stage a comeback and lord knows, we couldn't have that! I just didn't get what Falco was. Was he of this Earth? And while we're on the topic, what the hell is a Der Kommissar anyway? At least that song and its video are entertaining. Rock Me Amadeus on the other hand attempts to fuse rap and classical music. Such a shame that trend didn't catch on.
10. Butterfly kisses- Bob Carlisle: I'm sure I'll somehow take heat for this one but I'm just telling it like it is. The sentiment behind Butterfly Kisses is nice and all, but it's also really, really awkward. Here's this guy, dealing with the concept of his daughter growing up and getting married, but its chorus, no matter how potentially moving, just leaves me cold. It's wordy and somehow forced. Dance with your daughter to Wind Beneath My Wings as a last resort, but by all means, set the butterflies free!
So there you have it. There are many other songs that could very well have made either list, but to be honest, I'm upset that I will no doubt be humming one or two of these in my head for the next few days. What can I say? It's the price I had to pay to write this post.
I hope you guys are satisfied.
In the meantime, hop on over to their "pad". You might even want to sign your own blog up for a review!
I must say, y'all definitely went to town on TITMT's songs you'd never like to hear again. Who knew music that makes you want to stab yourself repeatedly with a fork would strike such a chord with you people?
Songs that we tire of are weird breed. I almost think there is a statue of limitations on any song's run and by default, any song's sickness factor. I'll give you an example. If you had asked me this question back in say 2000 I would have most definitely told you I'd be just fine if I never heard Lit's My Own Worst Enemy again. But someone, somewhere heard the desperate screams of the masses and finally slowed the throttle on that one. Now when I hear My Own Worst Enemy come on the radio I don't grimace or break out into a cold sweat. I'm back to appreciating it for what it is. A good song that just was so good, it became B-A-D.
But some songs, God bless 'em, should never get resucitated in my book. Of course in some cases they are still playing the hell out of them, for whatever the reason, so I'll probably never get my wish. Here are just a few of them...
Songs Never To Hear Again
1. Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler:Listen, Beaches was a great movie. Not only did it feature the benefits of having a lifetime female friendship, it also featured a young Mayim Bialik in her pre Blossom days. But Bette really outdid herself in the sap department on this one. And that corny Fly, Fly FLYYYY part?! Thank God Casey Kasem no longer makes long distance dedications or we'd hear this song even ten times more than we do now.
2. That's What Friends Are For- Dionne Warwick and Her Not So Psychic Friends: Growing up every Bar and Bat Mitzvah, confirmation, sweet sixteen, backyard BBQ graduation party played this song. And guests always had to gather together and do two things, get teary eyed and sway in unison. This song got so much play because it cornered the market on friendship. Think about it. There isn't really a whole lot of competition in the "songs about friendships" department. Someone needs to do something about that, pronto.
3. Celebration- Kool & The Gang: For the record I have to say that I really, really enjoy and miss some of Kool & The Gang's songs. Joanna. Misled. Cherish. All greats. But Celebration? Celebrate Good Times COME ON! It's not asking me, it's telling me and quite frankly, I don't like celebrating on demand like that.
4. Walking On the Sun- Smashmouth: When this song came out I liked it. But then they played it. And played it. And played it some more. And as if that wasn't enough they started adding it to movie trailers, tv shows and jingles. It became the song you couldn't escape, no matter how hard you tried. But I did like it, once. Enough to go out and buy the album. And on that album is a decent song called Flo. Only you'll never hear Flo. That's because Walking On The Sun never shut up long enough to have any of its sister songs have a dance at the ball. I'm sorry. I'm still bitter about this one.
5. It's Raining Men- The Weather Girls: In all honesty I never really liked this song, but it did have a novelty appeal to it, so I'll give it five seconds of fame. But oh my goodness. What would Chippendale strippers and bachelorette parties do without their It's Raining Men anthem? They'd be forced to play Celebration, that's what. It's a lose/lose situation people.
6. We Are Family- Sister Sledge: This song suffers the same fate as the friendship songs above. There aren't a hell of a lot of songs out there about family. No matter how good the message, nobody is gonna get down to Cats In The Cradle anytime soon. That's why We Are Family still gets so much play. How else do you tell the world you have all your sisters with you? I ask you this.
7. I'm Every Woman- Any Woman Who Has Ever Sang It: I don't know what it is, but any amateur African American singer who wants their shot at fame thinks their meal ticket is singing I'm Every Woman. Ironically that makes you just like every woman. Pick another damn song! Then maybe you'll be known as the woman not like every woman. Besides, since when is being exactly like everyone else a good thing, anyway?
8. Don't Worry, Be Happy- Bobby McFerrin: When Don't Worry Be Happy came out this is when I got my first cold, hard glimpse into the cynical human being I was about to grow into. I know it's a "happy go lucky" song and all, but hello, he's talking about some serious issues in there! Somebody took the dude's bed. His rent is late. He has no lady. But he should just NOT worry about it?! Getting a pimple. Burning some toast. These are the types of things you shouldn't let get you down. But it sounds like McFerrin had much bigger fish to fry. Which reminds me, up till now I totally thought this was McFerrin's song. But when I Googled the lyrics, Bob Marley came up. So now it's official. I have negative respect for the "talents" of Mr. McFerrin.
9. Follow Me- Uncle Kracker: Yes, it's catchy. But let's just say the ringtone residue of this one still haunts me to this day.
10. From This Moment- Shania Twain (with or without the duet): I have to admit, I've never been a bit Shania fan. I just don't think she can sing all that well. There I said it. I feel so much better. Unfortunately if you got married between the years of 2001-2005 you probably felt differently than I. I'll never forget the time my friend who got married right around that time cornered me on my feelings for the song. Only after I went on my rant about how much I wanted to like it, but hated it did she reveal that was to be their wedding song. Ouch. Open mouth. Insert foot here.
The next group of songs are different from the ones listed above. This lot has no reedemable qualities whatsoever. Seriously. What are people thinking?!
Songs I Wish I Never Heard In The First Place
1. She Bangs- Ricky Martin: Let the record show that I hated this song long before William Hung made it his own. In fact, the fact that someone like William Hung could take a song like this and make it his own speaks volumes. Martin was Livin The Vida Loca alright. Crazy in the head for recording this garbage.
2. Who Let the Dogs Out?- The Baha Men: Do I really need to go into the reasons why this song is so deserved of being on this list? Oh and lookee here. It's a one hit wonder, too. Shocker. Moving on.
3. Live For Loving You- Gloria Estefan: When I think about Gloria Estefan I can clearly break my feelings into two categories, when I liked Gloria/when I despised Gloria. Anything For You. 1,2,3. Rhythm Is Gonna Get You. Words Get In The Way. All of these are great Gloria songs, with or without the "Machine". But then the early 90s hit and something changed. I don't know to this day if it's her or if it's me. But she started coming out with crap like Live For Loving You and that God awful, nails on a chalkboard remake of Turn The Beat Around. Suffice it to say I've never looked at Gloria the same since 1990.
4. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney: I love Paul McCartney as much as the next girl. Hell, I share a birthdate with the man! But I don't get how you can take someone as wonderful as Paul McCartney and something as glorious as Christmas, put them together, and wind up with a big ol' mess. It's like mixing whipped cream and cheese. Whipped cream is delicious. Cheese is delicious. But together? Not so delicious.
5. That's The Way (Uh Huh) I Like It- KC and the Sunshine Band: I've said it before, I'll say it again. THE 70's SCARED ME. In fact, if I had wanted to I could have created a list, solely comprised of seventies songs that scared me. But I decided to be an equal opportunity hater instead. As for this song, I just think it's redundant, silly and obnoxious. Conversationally, saying Uh Huh is alright, but over and over with a dance beat behind it? In a word, grating.
6. Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?- Chicago: Ahh Chicago. How could such a great band go so wrong? This song always irked me. For one thing, I have no idea what this song is about. How watches are overrated? How time if fleeting? All I know is that it sounds like a lounge act gone bad.
7. Make Em Say Uh!- Master P: This song is proof that some rappers will take anything, and I do mean anything, and try to make it a hit. Repeating Uhh! Na, na, na over and over is actually the chorus of this song. It's as if he came up with the idea for this one will sitting on the toilet which is perfect, because it's exactly where this song should be, in the crapper.
8. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm- Crash Test Dummies: Let's get something straight. There are songs that are novelty and then there are songs that are ridiculous. Weird Al does novelty and he does it well. But Crash Test Dummies are only like, part novelty. The other half of the time they seem to be actually taking themselves sorta seriously. Needless to say, everything about this band creeps out. Their name, their look and ultimately, their lack of talent. Thankfully everything there is to be said about them can be said in past tense.
9. Rock Me Amadeus- Falco: Part of me feels halfway bad that about to diss a man who is no longer alive to defend himself. But then I think if he were alive, who knows if the man would have tried to stage a comeback and lord knows, we couldn't have that! I just didn't get what Falco was. Was he of this Earth? And while we're on the topic, what the hell is a Der Kommissar anyway? At least that song and its video are entertaining. Rock Me Amadeus on the other hand attempts to fuse rap and classical music. Such a shame that trend didn't catch on.
10. Butterfly kisses- Bob Carlisle: I'm sure I'll somehow take heat for this one but I'm just telling it like it is. The sentiment behind Butterfly Kisses is nice and all, but it's also really, really awkward. Here's this guy, dealing with the concept of his daughter growing up and getting married, but its chorus, no matter how potentially moving, just leaves me cold. It's wordy and somehow forced. Dance with your daughter to Wind Beneath My Wings as a last resort, but by all means, set the butterflies free!
So there you have it. There are many other songs that could very well have made either list, but to be honest, I'm upset that I will no doubt be humming one or two of these in my head for the next few days. What can I say? It's the price I had to pay to write this post.
I hope you guys are satisfied.
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