Old School
A few months ago I received an invitation to the inevitable event every twenty something dreads: The 10 Year High School Reunion.
No matter what movies like The Breakfast Club tell you, 10 years later it doesn't matter if you were the jock, the nerd, the cheerleader or the basket case. All that matters is that it is indeed 10. YEARS. LATER. Suddenly you wonder, where has all the time gone?
Let me preface this by saying that I didn't like high school all that much, and that I liked my particular high school even less. My town is very 90210. We had full length mirrors in our hallways and over spring break, kids went to places like Cancun and plastic surgeons, though not necessarily in that order. In fact, I've often wondered if my high school experience would have been different had I gone to a different high school. Of course, I'll never know, but one can dream.
In high school, I was a lot like I am now and only very few people knew the real me. I attribute this to my childhood. I was a rather happy child overall. But as we all know, kids can and will be cruel. I once heard that childhood is the period of time you spend the rest of your life trying to get over. I'll give an amen to that.
In elementary school, I had my fair share of ridicule. Some of the kids called me the ever so creative, "pig nose". My hair was also a bit of a problem. It was unruly a la Tina Turner. Only problem was I wasn't a hip African American lady with a killer bod and a good set of pipes. Hairdressers far and wide had no idea what to do with it. By middle school, a few kids took care of that. They would throw things in it to see if they'd stick. Oh and did I mention that I was a chubby 12 year old? Yes, middle school was full of fun times.
But then 8th grade rolled around and I had decided I had had enough. So I put myself on a diet, and got a haircut that was decent, given what God gave me to work with. I was coming into my own. By the time I reached high school, you wouldn't have even suspected I was ever a victim of finger pointing and name calling. But the problem was that I knew I was.
If you've ever been the subject of mockery you know that you ALWAYS hold that with you. No matter how much weight you lose, how many friends you have or how much success you've acquired, part of you still sees yourself as that awkward preteen. I don't know when, if ever, we outgrow this. If I'm around in twenty years, I'll get back to you on that.
So, while I believe I was a happy, well adjusted, outgoing child up until the age of about 7, high school was spent trying to make sense of both 7 year increments of my life, both on complete opposite spectrums.
By high school, I was pretty comfortable in my own skin, but as a result of the previous 7 years, I was very, very quiet. Of course, I was not quiet around my own friends. In fact, they scoffed when people said that about me. So high school became a bit of a blur. I wasn't made fun of, but I wasn't popular. I was shy and thus, I was unknown which, in the cruel battlefield that is high school, is really not the worst place to be.
The best part about being "the quiet girl" is that a lot of times people would have conversations around you that wouldn't normally have otherwise. I guess they just mistake your silence for just not caring or being just plain deaf. Either way, you hear a lot of juicy info by pretending to see and hear no evil.
It wasn't until my senior year that one of the "popular" girls started to notice me and how "cool" I was. It was ironic too, since this girl and I had been friends years prior, before our paths of coolness went off into different directions. For whatever reason, this popular cheerleader had decided I was worthy. She even nominated me for Shyest Student for the yearbook. Of course, I didn't win. Winning Class Shyest is hard to pull off if you truly are "the shyest" cause people don't actually know you, thus the title of "shyest". Duh.
So now, it's 10 years later and these strangers are inviting me to mingle over chips and dip to which I must, politely decline. In my case, it's not a matter of reconnecting, as there never was an initial connection. I mean, who are we kidding? For the most part, reunions are not about seeing how other people are doing because we care. It's about seeing how other people are doing in comparison to you. 'Cause I believe, if we truly cared, we'd still be in touch with these people.
In high school, success was measured by things like how many friends you had, how many paties you were invited to, and how many name brand items you owned. But you're kidding yourself if you don't think success is still measured. Only the ingredients have changed. Nowadays, success is measured by things like marriage, kids and high paying corporate jobs. If you don't have all three, you might as well save your 60 bucks and the agony of reliving that feeling you got when you stood on the playground as kids taunted you. Sure, I'm a teensy bit curious about how some of these people turned out, but I guess not enough to sacrifice a whole Saturday evening because of it.
Still, there is one souvenir I am proud of from my high school years. That is the quote I chose for my high school year book. It encompassed my experience completely and, over the years, it has sort've evolved into my an overall philosophy:
"Cools, nerds, your side, my side. Man, it's just bullshit. It's just tough enough to be yourself."- Can't Buy Me Love
No matter what movies like The Breakfast Club tell you, 10 years later it doesn't matter if you were the jock, the nerd, the cheerleader or the basket case. All that matters is that it is indeed 10. YEARS. LATER. Suddenly you wonder, where has all the time gone?
Let me preface this by saying that I didn't like high school all that much, and that I liked my particular high school even less. My town is very 90210. We had full length mirrors in our hallways and over spring break, kids went to places like Cancun and plastic surgeons, though not necessarily in that order. In fact, I've often wondered if my high school experience would have been different had I gone to a different high school. Of course, I'll never know, but one can dream.
In high school, I was a lot like I am now and only very few people knew the real me. I attribute this to my childhood. I was a rather happy child overall. But as we all know, kids can and will be cruel. I once heard that childhood is the period of time you spend the rest of your life trying to get over. I'll give an amen to that.
In elementary school, I had my fair share of ridicule. Some of the kids called me the ever so creative, "pig nose". My hair was also a bit of a problem. It was unruly a la Tina Turner. Only problem was I wasn't a hip African American lady with a killer bod and a good set of pipes. Hairdressers far and wide had no idea what to do with it. By middle school, a few kids took care of that. They would throw things in it to see if they'd stick. Oh and did I mention that I was a chubby 12 year old? Yes, middle school was full of fun times.
But then 8th grade rolled around and I had decided I had had enough. So I put myself on a diet, and got a haircut that was decent, given what God gave me to work with. I was coming into my own. By the time I reached high school, you wouldn't have even suspected I was ever a victim of finger pointing and name calling. But the problem was that I knew I was.
If you've ever been the subject of mockery you know that you ALWAYS hold that with you. No matter how much weight you lose, how many friends you have or how much success you've acquired, part of you still sees yourself as that awkward preteen. I don't know when, if ever, we outgrow this. If I'm around in twenty years, I'll get back to you on that.
So, while I believe I was a happy, well adjusted, outgoing child up until the age of about 7, high school was spent trying to make sense of both 7 year increments of my life, both on complete opposite spectrums.
By high school, I was pretty comfortable in my own skin, but as a result of the previous 7 years, I was very, very quiet. Of course, I was not quiet around my own friends. In fact, they scoffed when people said that about me. So high school became a bit of a blur. I wasn't made fun of, but I wasn't popular. I was shy and thus, I was unknown which, in the cruel battlefield that is high school, is really not the worst place to be.
The best part about being "the quiet girl" is that a lot of times people would have conversations around you that wouldn't normally have otherwise. I guess they just mistake your silence for just not caring or being just plain deaf. Either way, you hear a lot of juicy info by pretending to see and hear no evil.
It wasn't until my senior year that one of the "popular" girls started to notice me and how "cool" I was. It was ironic too, since this girl and I had been friends years prior, before our paths of coolness went off into different directions. For whatever reason, this popular cheerleader had decided I was worthy. She even nominated me for Shyest Student for the yearbook. Of course, I didn't win. Winning Class Shyest is hard to pull off if you truly are "the shyest" cause people don't actually know you, thus the title of "shyest". Duh.
So now, it's 10 years later and these strangers are inviting me to mingle over chips and dip to which I must, politely decline. In my case, it's not a matter of reconnecting, as there never was an initial connection. I mean, who are we kidding? For the most part, reunions are not about seeing how other people are doing because we care. It's about seeing how other people are doing in comparison to you. 'Cause I believe, if we truly cared, we'd still be in touch with these people.
In high school, success was measured by things like how many friends you had, how many paties you were invited to, and how many name brand items you owned. But you're kidding yourself if you don't think success is still measured. Only the ingredients have changed. Nowadays, success is measured by things like marriage, kids and high paying corporate jobs. If you don't have all three, you might as well save your 60 bucks and the agony of reliving that feeling you got when you stood on the playground as kids taunted you. Sure, I'm a teensy bit curious about how some of these people turned out, but I guess not enough to sacrifice a whole Saturday evening because of it.
Still, there is one souvenir I am proud of from my high school years. That is the quote I chose for my high school year book. It encompassed my experience completely and, over the years, it has sort've evolved into my an overall philosophy:
"Cools, nerds, your side, my side. Man, it's just bullshit. It's just tough enough to be yourself."- Can't Buy Me Love
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