Five Finger Discount
Ahh my American Idol lovelies, we meet again. It seems like only yesterday I was writing this post about this season's top 12. Now weeks have gone by (seven to be exact) and that twelve has dwindled to the five chosen ones:
Carrie Underwood
Scott Savol
Anthony Federov
Bo Bice
Vonzell Solomon
The good news is I predicted all but Bo Bice would make it to the top 12. Call me crazy, I just didn't see the Bice man coming. Now I know better. I also know that if Mr. Harold "Bo" Bice might fare better by being known as Harold "Miami Vice" Bice.
Before I go any further, please bow your heads and have a moment of silence, a la sappy awards show style, for the gone too soon but not forgotteners, Nikko Smith, Nadia Turner, and the most recent mistaken departure of Constantine Maroulis. The last one my friends is like pouring salt into an open wound. It's nearly a week later and it still smarts. Of course, being the reality show conspiracy theorist I am I think it's more than a coicidence that Connie got the boot a week after his band got signed. In other words, I doubt this is the last we will hear from this brooding "bad" boy.
Sigh.
Still everytime a contestant bites the dust, along with it goes a little piece of the show's dynamic. Now that the dust has settled, we're left with the top five, some of whom are deserving, others not so much. I'll let you choose who falls into which category. Oh who am I kidding? No I won't.
Bo Bice- I like you Bo. Really I do. I don't like you as much as Constantine and I'm a bit freaked out that not only allegedly bought cocaine, but you allegedly purchased it a seedy strip club you frequented. Allegedy. But I mean Hugh Grant went slumming and he's still America's sweetheart right? So what I'm trying to say is, wonders never cease.
Vonzell Solomon- I enjoy Vonzell. I think she deserves to be in the top 5. That being said, I still don't want her to win. This might just be because I feel she picks annoyingly overplayed songs that I would be perfectly happy if I never heard them again, ever. Cases in point, "Let's Hear It For The Boy" and "I'm Every Woman". Even if they are the best renditions it wouldn't matter. I find myself checking out halfway through just because these songs have such a been there, done that vibe about them. Unfortunately I fear Vonzell's career might suffer the same fate.
Anthony Federov and Scott Savol- Yes I realize that these are two entirely different contestants but they have one very significant thing in common, neither one of them should still be in the competition at this point. I'll begin with Anthony first. Anthony seems like a sweet boy. I'd like to have lunch with him. Perhaps I'd even enjoy him singing at a wedding or a communion or two. But to call him MY American Idol? I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do that. A good peformance every few weeks or so does not a winner make. And so Anthony happened to nail his rendition of "I Surrender" this last week and once again, the American public falls for the whole "you're only as good as your last song" trick, vs. voting on the whole package, like someone else I know, ahem Constantine. But I'm not bitter. No, not at all.
Which brings me to Scott "Prisoner Number 23456" Savol. By now everyone knows about Scott's brush with the law involving his baby's mama. But just like Bo, he said he was sorry. Which apparently is enough for the casting directors over at American Idol and the American voting public.
What I want to know though is when did mediocrity not only become tolerated, but somehow become revered? I mean Scott isn't horrible, though he is this year's cockroach. This season's Keith Richards. The latest Nikki McKibbin. In other words Scott is the contestant that just WILL NOT DIE.
I mean really, who is voting for this guy? Because everyone I know isn't and the radio stations I listen to people aren't. So where are all these people and what exactly do they see in him? I mean I know he's got an everyman vibe going on, and I too felt sorry for him when I thought he looked unfortunately creepy. That was until I realized that he doesn't just look creepy. That the people were right to be concerned. That was weeks ago. So I gotta ask, are the prisonmates using their one phone call to vote for Scotty or what?
Finally there's Carrie "why do birds suddenly appear" Underwood who is like American Idol's little angel. She's Kelly Clarkson without the rhythm. Marcia Brady without the psychotic sister. Carrie Underwood has been the only untainted thing about this seasons's Idol. She's managed to squeak by unscathed so far and has been my favorite from day one. While those who have gone before have saddened me deeply, in the end I still wanted Carrie to be the one standing when all was said and done. Sure she's got white girl's rhythm, but she's got the best natural talent in this whole damn top 12 and that's meant to be a compliment because overall, there a talented bunch, unlike their sight for sore eyes lot from last year. Hello? Have you seen Diana Degarmo in the past ten months? More importantly, do you even know who Fantasia Barrino is? I rest my case.
So there you have it. My take on this season's top five. Are they really the tops? No, not completely. But America still has a chance at getting it right.
So please America, give the nice little white girl the break she so desperately deserves and pray she doesn't get corrupted in the process.
Branagan, out.
Carrie Underwood
Scott Savol
Anthony Federov
Bo Bice
Vonzell Solomon
The good news is I predicted all but Bo Bice would make it to the top 12. Call me crazy, I just didn't see the Bice man coming. Now I know better. I also know that if Mr. Harold "Bo" Bice might fare better by being known as Harold "Miami Vice" Bice.
Before I go any further, please bow your heads and have a moment of silence, a la sappy awards show style, for the gone too soon but not forgotteners, Nikko Smith, Nadia Turner, and the most recent mistaken departure of Constantine Maroulis. The last one my friends is like pouring salt into an open wound. It's nearly a week later and it still smarts. Of course, being the reality show conspiracy theorist I am I think it's more than a coicidence that Connie got the boot a week after his band got signed. In other words, I doubt this is the last we will hear from this brooding "bad" boy.
Sigh.
Still everytime a contestant bites the dust, along with it goes a little piece of the show's dynamic. Now that the dust has settled, we're left with the top five, some of whom are deserving, others not so much. I'll let you choose who falls into which category. Oh who am I kidding? No I won't.
Bo Bice- I like you Bo. Really I do. I don't like you as much as Constantine and I'm a bit freaked out that not only allegedly bought cocaine, but you allegedly purchased it a seedy strip club you frequented. Allegedy. But I mean Hugh Grant went slumming and he's still America's sweetheart right? So what I'm trying to say is, wonders never cease.
Vonzell Solomon- I enjoy Vonzell. I think she deserves to be in the top 5. That being said, I still don't want her to win. This might just be because I feel she picks annoyingly overplayed songs that I would be perfectly happy if I never heard them again, ever. Cases in point, "Let's Hear It For The Boy" and "I'm Every Woman". Even if they are the best renditions it wouldn't matter. I find myself checking out halfway through just because these songs have such a been there, done that vibe about them. Unfortunately I fear Vonzell's career might suffer the same fate.
Anthony Federov and Scott Savol- Yes I realize that these are two entirely different contestants but they have one very significant thing in common, neither one of them should still be in the competition at this point. I'll begin with Anthony first. Anthony seems like a sweet boy. I'd like to have lunch with him. Perhaps I'd even enjoy him singing at a wedding or a communion or two. But to call him MY American Idol? I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can't do that. A good peformance every few weeks or so does not a winner make. And so Anthony happened to nail his rendition of "I Surrender" this last week and once again, the American public falls for the whole "you're only as good as your last song" trick, vs. voting on the whole package, like someone else I know, ahem Constantine. But I'm not bitter. No, not at all.
Which brings me to Scott "Prisoner Number 23456" Savol. By now everyone knows about Scott's brush with the law involving his baby's mama. But just like Bo, he said he was sorry. Which apparently is enough for the casting directors over at American Idol and the American voting public.
What I want to know though is when did mediocrity not only become tolerated, but somehow become revered? I mean Scott isn't horrible, though he is this year's cockroach. This season's Keith Richards. The latest Nikki McKibbin. In other words Scott is the contestant that just WILL NOT DIE.
I mean really, who is voting for this guy? Because everyone I know isn't and the radio stations I listen to people aren't. So where are all these people and what exactly do they see in him? I mean I know he's got an everyman vibe going on, and I too felt sorry for him when I thought he looked unfortunately creepy. That was until I realized that he doesn't just look creepy. That the people were right to be concerned. That was weeks ago. So I gotta ask, are the prisonmates using their one phone call to vote for Scotty or what?
Finally there's Carrie "why do birds suddenly appear" Underwood who is like American Idol's little angel. She's Kelly Clarkson without the rhythm. Marcia Brady without the psychotic sister. Carrie Underwood has been the only untainted thing about this seasons's Idol. She's managed to squeak by unscathed so far and has been my favorite from day one. While those who have gone before have saddened me deeply, in the end I still wanted Carrie to be the one standing when all was said and done. Sure she's got white girl's rhythm, but she's got the best natural talent in this whole damn top 12 and that's meant to be a compliment because overall, there a talented bunch, unlike their sight for sore eyes lot from last year. Hello? Have you seen Diana Degarmo in the past ten months? More importantly, do you even know who Fantasia Barrino is? I rest my case.
So there you have it. My take on this season's top five. Are they really the tops? No, not completely. But America still has a chance at getting it right.
So please America, give the nice little white girl the break she so desperately deserves and pray she doesn't get corrupted in the process.
Branagan, out.
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