That's Not My Bag, Baby
A few weeks ago an incident with my boyfriend occurred that he gave me permission to blog about here. In case you haven't noticed, I rarely blog about my boyfriend or things pertaining to my boyfriend. You know, the whole "protect the innocent" stuff. But in this case, we both still think we are right, so he gave me the green light to go ahead and open the floor to the input of complete strangers.
First, the backstory. A few months ago I decided to splurge and pamper myself with a big money item. You should know I rarely, if ever, treat myself to anything. I am a save your money for a rainy day kinda girl. Meanwhile it could be pouring, and I'd still be waiting for the hail. Finally I decided back in January that I should treat myself for a change and so I ordered a Tivo.
And God has been punishing me ever since. First with the cost of the ticket, then with the accident.
Getting the Tivo to work properly was also a catastrophe. Don't ask why, it just was. Even now I can't record cable channels like Starz or HBO with it. I still don't know why nor do I even care anymore. So I purchase the Tivo and along with it I needed a few extra bells and whistles to make it work. I leave all things Tivo to my boyfriend. He was the one who knew what to order. He was the one to program the device. He is the electronically minded half of this relationship, although I do think I can hold my own, thank you very much.
So we go to this electronic store to pick up a splitter and some cable. It was a misty day outside and I live roughly 2 hours away from my boyfriend. This all might seem like meaningless details now, but trust me, paying attention to this will come in handy later.
We get to the counter and I go to pay for the items. Then the guy innocently asks a question that has passed many a salesmen's lips:
"Do you want a bag with that?"
My boyfriend immediately equally innocently interjects, "No, we don't need one." Now I hear his interjection, but I don't think anything of it. All of this occurs within a split second. So while I hear him, I've already formulated my response in my mind. So out comes my answer "I'd like a bag."
Now to me this is all innocent enough. He said no bag, I said bag. I got a bag. There done, good. End of story. But apparently to him, this was only the beginning. And herein is where the plot thickens.
When we get to the car he starts probing me about why I had to have a bag. I didn't have a reason. To me asking me why I had to have a bag is like asking me why I decided to wear the earrings I wore that day. I just did. Sometimes I do things that unconciously might have a deeper meaning, but really, unbeknownest to me there is no hidden agenda.
So I said just that. But my boyfriend was already on a roll at this point. His point of contention was this: If I had no reason, why couldn't I just have let his answer of no bag lie and not made him look like a fool in front of the cashier? And if I did have a reason then he really, really wanted to hear it, because he couldn't think of one good reason to have a bag in the first place.
At this point I'm like racking my brain for a good reason to have a bag. To me, there are plenty of them, but the top five reasons are on the board:
1. What if I want to return said item one day?
2. I like keeping like items in one, central location.
3. I still had to travel home 2 hours and wanted to keep everything together till I got there.
4. It was raining outside and I didn't want to get the items wet.
5. 'Cause walking out of a store without a bag makes me feel like I'm stealing sometimes and I'm not a stealer, despite what you may have heard.
Now this is the part where you just have to know my boyfriend. 'Cause if you knew my boyfriend you would know that there was no answer that would have been sufficient. It was already "Past The Point of Reason" Boulevard and now I was making a right at "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't" Drive. Being silent doesn't help. Fighting back doesn't help. Hell, agreeing just to move on doesn't help because honestly, I'm really, really bad at keeping my mouth shut when I think I'm right.
Which I did, I mean do, think.
But in all honesty, being right isn't important to me. In fact, in my opinion, the whole incident was completely blown out of proportion as are many meaningless arguments we have. The actual argument, although nasty and unnecessary, is now water under the bridge, but the basic underlying principal remains a point we agree to disagree on. Sort of.
Which brings me to why I've been "given permission" to write about it here. I told him I had half a mind to post this story just to prove that my wanting a bag was really no big deal and he kinda encouraged me to do it. So here I am, doing it, obviously.
So what do you think? Was I undermining my boyfriend's decision by interjecting about a purchase that was mine to begin with? Did I have every right to ask for a bag if it was my money? Did I really have a secret, subconcious wish to do the opposite for no real reason at all? Or is he blowing things out of proportion, bag or no bag?
Go. Act quickly! Don't miss this chance to Dr. Phil the hell out of this situation while you still can!
First, the backstory. A few months ago I decided to splurge and pamper myself with a big money item. You should know I rarely, if ever, treat myself to anything. I am a save your money for a rainy day kinda girl. Meanwhile it could be pouring, and I'd still be waiting for the hail. Finally I decided back in January that I should treat myself for a change and so I ordered a Tivo.
And God has been punishing me ever since. First with the cost of the ticket, then with the accident.
Getting the Tivo to work properly was also a catastrophe. Don't ask why, it just was. Even now I can't record cable channels like Starz or HBO with it. I still don't know why nor do I even care anymore. So I purchase the Tivo and along with it I needed a few extra bells and whistles to make it work. I leave all things Tivo to my boyfriend. He was the one who knew what to order. He was the one to program the device. He is the electronically minded half of this relationship, although I do think I can hold my own, thank you very much.
So we go to this electronic store to pick up a splitter and some cable. It was a misty day outside and I live roughly 2 hours away from my boyfriend. This all might seem like meaningless details now, but trust me, paying attention to this will come in handy later.
We get to the counter and I go to pay for the items. Then the guy innocently asks a question that has passed many a salesmen's lips:
"Do you want a bag with that?"
My boyfriend immediately equally innocently interjects, "No, we don't need one." Now I hear his interjection, but I don't think anything of it. All of this occurs within a split second. So while I hear him, I've already formulated my response in my mind. So out comes my answer "I'd like a bag."
Now to me this is all innocent enough. He said no bag, I said bag. I got a bag. There done, good. End of story. But apparently to him, this was only the beginning. And herein is where the plot thickens.
When we get to the car he starts probing me about why I had to have a bag. I didn't have a reason. To me asking me why I had to have a bag is like asking me why I decided to wear the earrings I wore that day. I just did. Sometimes I do things that unconciously might have a deeper meaning, but really, unbeknownest to me there is no hidden agenda.
So I said just that. But my boyfriend was already on a roll at this point. His point of contention was this: If I had no reason, why couldn't I just have let his answer of no bag lie and not made him look like a fool in front of the cashier? And if I did have a reason then he really, really wanted to hear it, because he couldn't think of one good reason to have a bag in the first place.
At this point I'm like racking my brain for a good reason to have a bag. To me, there are plenty of them, but the top five reasons are on the board:
1. What if I want to return said item one day?
2. I like keeping like items in one, central location.
3. I still had to travel home 2 hours and wanted to keep everything together till I got there.
4. It was raining outside and I didn't want to get the items wet.
5. 'Cause walking out of a store without a bag makes me feel like I'm stealing sometimes and I'm not a stealer, despite what you may have heard.
Now this is the part where you just have to know my boyfriend. 'Cause if you knew my boyfriend you would know that there was no answer that would have been sufficient. It was already "Past The Point of Reason" Boulevard and now I was making a right at "Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't" Drive. Being silent doesn't help. Fighting back doesn't help. Hell, agreeing just to move on doesn't help because honestly, I'm really, really bad at keeping my mouth shut when I think I'm right.
Which I did, I mean do, think.
But in all honesty, being right isn't important to me. In fact, in my opinion, the whole incident was completely blown out of proportion as are many meaningless arguments we have. The actual argument, although nasty and unnecessary, is now water under the bridge, but the basic underlying principal remains a point we agree to disagree on. Sort of.
Which brings me to why I've been "given permission" to write about it here. I told him I had half a mind to post this story just to prove that my wanting a bag was really no big deal and he kinda encouraged me to do it. So here I am, doing it, obviously.
So what do you think? Was I undermining my boyfriend's decision by interjecting about a purchase that was mine to begin with? Did I have every right to ask for a bag if it was my money? Did I really have a secret, subconcious wish to do the opposite for no real reason at all? Or is he blowing things out of proportion, bag or no bag?
Go. Act quickly! Don't miss this chance to Dr. Phil the hell out of this situation while you still can!
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