Things That Go Bump In The Night
Ever since I can remember I've had a good relationship with my dentist. Well as good a relationship as most people have with a man with a drill I guess. I visit him once every year or so, get my teeth cleaned, pick up my customary toothbrush and mouthwash and I'm done, as I'm sure most of you do, too.
When I was a kid, going to the dentist was still a treacherous experience. I can still remember going to the dentist for the first time when we moved here. My childhood dentist used to take Polaroid pictures of his patients and put them up on the wall. He had some sort of star system where everytime you got a star, you got to pick a prize. Me and the Cabbage Patch kid I brought with me to the dentist were on the wall, stars sometimes given. Apparently he always thought I brushed well, but could do better. I suppose you could say I was an average brusher.
As I got older though, I quickly realized the importance of taking care of one's teeth. Upon entering my pre teen years my dentist started pushing braces on my parents. Well not literally on my parents. The braces would be on me, the cost would be on them. I was smart enough to know though that everyone was getting braces at the time, just because it was the thing to do. I had one tooth that was slightly off and a slight overbite and in my world, this didn't equate to years of cosmetic inconvenience and ultimate ridicule. So I never got the braces and I haven't regretted it since.
Overall, my teeth and I have had a good relationship. In the last few years or so I have discovered electric toothbrushes which seriously, if you don't have one, you don't know what you're missing. I have great oral hygenie and my teeth are straight. But there is one problem....My name is Janet, and I'm a grinder.
If you are a grinder, or if you know someone who is, you know there is really nothing you can do for them or the problem. The only real solution reminds me of a skit I saw once where Bob Newhart played the therapist. You told Bob Newhart your problems and he said, "Well, just stop it!" This, unfortunately, is easier said than done.
The only real treatment they have for grinders like me are the oh-so complimentary mouth guards. Mouth guards I assume are like wearing retainers, although I never had one of those either. All I know is I feel like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby when I have mine in. True, I don't have to wear it during the day. It's only supposed to offset the grinding I do in the middle of the night, but even at that, it's been a very hard thing to commit to. Does anyone else see the irony in managing to avoid braces, but dealing with the mouth guard battle for the rest of my life?
When I first got my mouth guard, about a year and a half ago, I wore it for a few nights. I thought it would grow on me. But it never got past the "I can't wanna wear this" point. I told my dentist at the time. He said he'd adjust it. He did. It didn't matter. So I buried in my drawer somewhere, hoping they were just exaggerating the problem.
Then a few weeks ago, in an unrelated teething event, I drank two Amaretto Sours and an hour later I had a toothache like you wouldn't believe. That toothache lasted a good week and a half before going away. I thought this was just because as an unfortunate side effect of grinding, your teeth become more sensitive. So whenever someone like me drinks a few sweet alcoholic drinks, it hurts to chew big people food the next day.
Then a few weeks later I had two wine coolers and relived the whole event all over again. So begrudingly I made an appointment with the dentist who confirmed my worst fears, I have a cavity. I haven't had a cavity in years. I can't even recall having a cavity with my adult teeth, but I guess cavities are just part of life. I go under te drill next week because my dentist never does the diagnosis and the procedure in the same office visit. Cause that would be too simple and too cost effective. Lucky for me, I'm not doubled over in pain otherwise I'd be in real trouble.
Now one cavity is fine and I can deal with it. However, the reason I probably have the cavity is because, you guessed it, of the grinding. The assistant told me to really try to get used to wearing the mouth guard because she is concerned at the wearing down of a enamel I have for someone my age. So once again I left my mouth guard there, to be adjusted, in the hopes I can somehow avoid sleepless nights and future painful experiences courtesy of drinks such as Mike's Hard Lemonade.
Still, the whole experience has left me with a bad taste in my mouth, no pun intended. I take good care of my teeth. I don't eat a lot of sweets. I try to always brush after meals. I drink lots of water. If you don't do these things and your teeth go rotten, I feel you've only got yourself to blame. But I do these things and my problem is out of my control. I grind. I grind because I worry. I worry because it's how I was born. If I could just not worry, I wouldn't grind. But asking a girl like me to not grind is like asking a dog not to sniff around for a good place to shit. It's just not going to happen.
In an interesting side note, I've had dreams that involve teeth falling out or becoming loose for years now. I haven't had one of them in awhile, but I wonder now if this was just a foreshadowing of things to come. Years ago, I looked up what dreaming about teeth is supposed to symbolize. Here's what I found out:
"In general, dreams about losing one's teeth are common and suggest the dreamer feels powerless or out of control in a real life situation..."
Now if only I could get to the bottom of why I grind in the first place, that really would be something to sink my teeth into.
When I was a kid, going to the dentist was still a treacherous experience. I can still remember going to the dentist for the first time when we moved here. My childhood dentist used to take Polaroid pictures of his patients and put them up on the wall. He had some sort of star system where everytime you got a star, you got to pick a prize. Me and the Cabbage Patch kid I brought with me to the dentist were on the wall, stars sometimes given. Apparently he always thought I brushed well, but could do better. I suppose you could say I was an average brusher.
As I got older though, I quickly realized the importance of taking care of one's teeth. Upon entering my pre teen years my dentist started pushing braces on my parents. Well not literally on my parents. The braces would be on me, the cost would be on them. I was smart enough to know though that everyone was getting braces at the time, just because it was the thing to do. I had one tooth that was slightly off and a slight overbite and in my world, this didn't equate to years of cosmetic inconvenience and ultimate ridicule. So I never got the braces and I haven't regretted it since.
Overall, my teeth and I have had a good relationship. In the last few years or so I have discovered electric toothbrushes which seriously, if you don't have one, you don't know what you're missing. I have great oral hygenie and my teeth are straight. But there is one problem....My name is Janet, and I'm a grinder.
If you are a grinder, or if you know someone who is, you know there is really nothing you can do for them or the problem. The only real solution reminds me of a skit I saw once where Bob Newhart played the therapist. You told Bob Newhart your problems and he said, "Well, just stop it!" This, unfortunately, is easier said than done.
The only real treatment they have for grinders like me are the oh-so complimentary mouth guards. Mouth guards I assume are like wearing retainers, although I never had one of those either. All I know is I feel like Hilary Swank in Million Dollar Baby when I have mine in. True, I don't have to wear it during the day. It's only supposed to offset the grinding I do in the middle of the night, but even at that, it's been a very hard thing to commit to. Does anyone else see the irony in managing to avoid braces, but dealing with the mouth guard battle for the rest of my life?
When I first got my mouth guard, about a year and a half ago, I wore it for a few nights. I thought it would grow on me. But it never got past the "I can't wanna wear this" point. I told my dentist at the time. He said he'd adjust it. He did. It didn't matter. So I buried in my drawer somewhere, hoping they were just exaggerating the problem.
Then a few weeks ago, in an unrelated teething event, I drank two Amaretto Sours and an hour later I had a toothache like you wouldn't believe. That toothache lasted a good week and a half before going away. I thought this was just because as an unfortunate side effect of grinding, your teeth become more sensitive. So whenever someone like me drinks a few sweet alcoholic drinks, it hurts to chew big people food the next day.
Then a few weeks later I had two wine coolers and relived the whole event all over again. So begrudingly I made an appointment with the dentist who confirmed my worst fears, I have a cavity. I haven't had a cavity in years. I can't even recall having a cavity with my adult teeth, but I guess cavities are just part of life. I go under te drill next week because my dentist never does the diagnosis and the procedure in the same office visit. Cause that would be too simple and too cost effective. Lucky for me, I'm not doubled over in pain otherwise I'd be in real trouble.
Now one cavity is fine and I can deal with it. However, the reason I probably have the cavity is because, you guessed it, of the grinding. The assistant told me to really try to get used to wearing the mouth guard because she is concerned at the wearing down of a enamel I have for someone my age. So once again I left my mouth guard there, to be adjusted, in the hopes I can somehow avoid sleepless nights and future painful experiences courtesy of drinks such as Mike's Hard Lemonade.
Still, the whole experience has left me with a bad taste in my mouth, no pun intended. I take good care of my teeth. I don't eat a lot of sweets. I try to always brush after meals. I drink lots of water. If you don't do these things and your teeth go rotten, I feel you've only got yourself to blame. But I do these things and my problem is out of my control. I grind. I grind because I worry. I worry because it's how I was born. If I could just not worry, I wouldn't grind. But asking a girl like me to not grind is like asking a dog not to sniff around for a good place to shit. It's just not going to happen.
In an interesting side note, I've had dreams that involve teeth falling out or becoming loose for years now. I haven't had one of them in awhile, but I wonder now if this was just a foreshadowing of things to come. Years ago, I looked up what dreaming about teeth is supposed to symbolize. Here's what I found out:
"In general, dreams about losing one's teeth are common and suggest the dreamer feels powerless or out of control in a real life situation..."
Now if only I could get to the bottom of why I grind in the first place, that really would be something to sink my teeth into.
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