More Than A Woman To Me
I'm down with Meredith Brooks. I can be a bitch. I can be a lover. I can be a child. Ok, so I'm not sure I'll ever be a mother. My point is I'm cool with being called a lot of things, but ma'am just isn't one of them.
The other day I wrote a post that included the following sentence-
"I like it when people refer to me as a girl and I hate it when people refer to me as ma'am. Ugh."
Later in the day I was chatting with a male friend who happened to read the post. His opening line to me was a dig about the word "ma'am". The reason I feel the need to preface his sex here is because I'm wondering if that is the reason why he asked the question in the first place.He said he didn't understand what the big deal about the word ma'am was and in fact, he had never heard a female complain about it before.
Here's the thing-I was always under the assumption that all females of a certain age felt this way. I say females of a certain age because girls under the age of 18 are highly unlikely to be referred to as a ma'am. It's not so much that the word is offensive, it just makes me feel, at times, unnecessarily... well, old.
Which leads me to my next question; just when do girls become ma'ams anyhow? I mean, I think we all can agree we're not going to call little kids ma'am, but somehow if a 32 year old is innocently referred to as a ma'am, she suddenly understands all those warnings about becoming your mother were not in vain. This is not even acknowleding that timing is everything. So if you call the wrong woman the wrong word at the wrong time well then, watch out.
There are scenarios were a word like ma'am is used more freely than others. A restaurant is a good example. You might hear the words "And what can I get for you ma'am?" My friend sarcastically asked, me if I'd prefer to call me "little girl" instead. To me there is a happy medium. A miss is always nice. And if there's more than one, ladies will do just fine. Honey or hun is a whole other ball of wax. Suffice it to say, we won't go there now.
I don't think this goes away when you get older either, except maybe once you reach a certain age you are more accepting of being in the ma'am category. It's just those awkward in between years where you cringe upon hearing it. Like how when you first get your license you can't wait to be carded to prove how "old" you are. 10 years later you're just as excited to get carded, only the reasons have changed.
Since I figured all women felt like I did, or at the very least were indifferent on the issue, I didn't even think to actually ask other women. But after having that conversation with my male friend, I realized some research was necessary. I already asked a few people and they saw where I was coming from, and even made some interesting points of their own. But here's where you come in.
So, ladies of the blogging community, what do you like to be referred to? Do you mind ma'am or do you kinda even like it? And gentleman, you are not left out of this either. When you hear sir, do you look around for your father?
Perhaps either group simply prefers a good ol' fashioned "HEY! YOU!"
Whatever your poison, let me know.
The other day I wrote a post that included the following sentence-
"I like it when people refer to me as a girl and I hate it when people refer to me as ma'am. Ugh."
Later in the day I was chatting with a male friend who happened to read the post. His opening line to me was a dig about the word "ma'am". The reason I feel the need to preface his sex here is because I'm wondering if that is the reason why he asked the question in the first place.He said he didn't understand what the big deal about the word ma'am was and in fact, he had never heard a female complain about it before.
Here's the thing-I was always under the assumption that all females of a certain age felt this way. I say females of a certain age because girls under the age of 18 are highly unlikely to be referred to as a ma'am. It's not so much that the word is offensive, it just makes me feel, at times, unnecessarily... well, old.
Which leads me to my next question; just when do girls become ma'ams anyhow? I mean, I think we all can agree we're not going to call little kids ma'am, but somehow if a 32 year old is innocently referred to as a ma'am, she suddenly understands all those warnings about becoming your mother were not in vain. This is not even acknowleding that timing is everything. So if you call the wrong woman the wrong word at the wrong time well then, watch out.
There are scenarios were a word like ma'am is used more freely than others. A restaurant is a good example. You might hear the words "And what can I get for you ma'am?" My friend sarcastically asked, me if I'd prefer to call me "little girl" instead. To me there is a happy medium. A miss is always nice. And if there's more than one, ladies will do just fine. Honey or hun is a whole other ball of wax. Suffice it to say, we won't go there now.
I don't think this goes away when you get older either, except maybe once you reach a certain age you are more accepting of being in the ma'am category. It's just those awkward in between years where you cringe upon hearing it. Like how when you first get your license you can't wait to be carded to prove how "old" you are. 10 years later you're just as excited to get carded, only the reasons have changed.
Since I figured all women felt like I did, or at the very least were indifferent on the issue, I didn't even think to actually ask other women. But after having that conversation with my male friend, I realized some research was necessary. I already asked a few people and they saw where I was coming from, and even made some interesting points of their own. But here's where you come in.
So, ladies of the blogging community, what do you like to be referred to? Do you mind ma'am or do you kinda even like it? And gentleman, you are not left out of this either. When you hear sir, do you look around for your father?
Perhaps either group simply prefers a good ol' fashioned "HEY! YOU!"
Whatever your poison, let me know.
<< Home