Take Two Of These And Call Me In The Morning
For years I've liked to create my own little celebrity related syndromes. Call me a research doctor for the stars if you will. I notice one actor suffers from it and then find other actors that follow suit.
Condition: RS Syndrome- named after the actor Rick "don't call me Ricky" Schroder.
Characteristics: Defined by a cute child (famous or otherwise) who hits puberty and suddenly loses said cuteness.
Known Suffers: Rick Schroder, Anthony Michael Hall, Tina Majorino, Chad Allen and Mae Whitman, among others.
Treatment: Rick Scroder is a great spokesman for this group as he has been both a cute child, then a suffer of RS, only to return to good looking man territory a few years ago. See also Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Condition: Reverse RS Syndrome
Characteristics: opposite of RS Syndrome. When a child (famous or otherwise) is not particularly cute, but fares much better after adolesence.
Known Suffers:- Jerry O'Connell, Seth Green, Ben Affleck and Joshua Jackson, among others.
Treatment: Constant monitoring of long term cuteness.
Condition: The Natasha Gregson Wagner Factor
Named after little known actress, Natasha Gregson Wagner.
Characteristics: When the named actor/actress is added or attached to a project, this is also proof that the project will be crap.
Known Sufferers: Natasha Gregson Wagner, Rachael Leigh Cook, Freddie Prinze Jr., among others.
Treatment: Letting said career run its course and/or avoiding their projects at all costs as continued exposure can be damaging to one's celluloid appetite.
Condition: The McDonald- named after character actor, Christopher McDonald
Characteristics:- when you suddenly see an actor, preferably a character actor everywhere, but you just can't remember their name.
Known Sufferers:- Christopher McDonald, David Paymer, Paul Giamatti Jeremy Piven and Philip Seymour Hoffman, among others.
Treatment: These actors usually revel in obscurity for years, even after they've been acknowledged for their talents. Don't cry for these guys though. Most of them are making a really decent living at playing the guy you kinda, sorta know.
Condition: State of Hanks- Named after actor Tom Hanks.
Characteristics: an actor or actress whose demeanor completely changes once their appearance does.
Known Sufferers:- Tom Hanks, John Travolta, Matthew Perry, Kathleen Turner, Nicholas Cage, Katherine Heigl, Jon Favreau, Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando and Chris Penn, among others.
Treatment:- Weight, age, hairstyle and exercise all contribute to the State of Hanks. If any one of these factors changes, so too can the state of said actor.
Condition: A Berkley- named after actress Elizabeth Berkley
Characteristics:- Actress/or actor as the case may be, who changes their image drastically in hopes of bettering their career. Such changes are usually of the "shock value" variety (i.e. posing for Playboy)
Known Sufferers:
Elizabeth Berkley, Jessica Biel, Melissa Joan Hart, Debbie Gibson, Macaulay Culkin and Lindsay Lohan, among others.
Treatment: Usually this one just has to run its course.
I would say don't try this at home, but these diagnoses are over 10 years in the making. And as NBC every so often eloquently says, the More You Know...
Condition: RS Syndrome- named after the actor Rick "don't call me Ricky" Schroder.
Characteristics: Defined by a cute child (famous or otherwise) who hits puberty and suddenly loses said cuteness.
Known Suffers: Rick Schroder, Anthony Michael Hall, Tina Majorino, Chad Allen and Mae Whitman, among others.
Treatment: Rick Scroder is a great spokesman for this group as he has been both a cute child, then a suffer of RS, only to return to good looking man territory a few years ago. See also Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
Condition: Reverse RS Syndrome
Characteristics: opposite of RS Syndrome. When a child (famous or otherwise) is not particularly cute, but fares much better after adolesence.
Known Suffers:- Jerry O'Connell, Seth Green, Ben Affleck and Joshua Jackson, among others.
Treatment: Constant monitoring of long term cuteness.
Condition: The Natasha Gregson Wagner Factor
Named after little known actress, Natasha Gregson Wagner.
Characteristics: When the named actor/actress is added or attached to a project, this is also proof that the project will be crap.
Known Sufferers: Natasha Gregson Wagner, Rachael Leigh Cook, Freddie Prinze Jr., among others.
Treatment: Letting said career run its course and/or avoiding their projects at all costs as continued exposure can be damaging to one's celluloid appetite.
Condition: The McDonald- named after character actor, Christopher McDonald
Characteristics:- when you suddenly see an actor, preferably a character actor everywhere, but you just can't remember their name.
Known Sufferers:- Christopher McDonald, David Paymer, Paul Giamatti Jeremy Piven and Philip Seymour Hoffman, among others.
Treatment: These actors usually revel in obscurity for years, even after they've been acknowledged for their talents. Don't cry for these guys though. Most of them are making a really decent living at playing the guy you kinda, sorta know.
Condition: State of Hanks- Named after actor Tom Hanks.
Characteristics: an actor or actress whose demeanor completely changes once their appearance does.
Known Sufferers:- Tom Hanks, John Travolta, Matthew Perry, Kathleen Turner, Nicholas Cage, Katherine Heigl, Jon Favreau, Elvis Presley, Marlon Brando and Chris Penn, among others.
Treatment:- Weight, age, hairstyle and exercise all contribute to the State of Hanks. If any one of these factors changes, so too can the state of said actor.
Condition: A Berkley- named after actress Elizabeth Berkley
Characteristics:- Actress/or actor as the case may be, who changes their image drastically in hopes of bettering their career. Such changes are usually of the "shock value" variety (i.e. posing for Playboy)
Known Sufferers:
Elizabeth Berkley, Jessica Biel, Melissa Joan Hart, Debbie Gibson, Macaulay Culkin and Lindsay Lohan, among others.
Treatment: Usually this one just has to run its course.
I would say don't try this at home, but these diagnoses are over 10 years in the making. And as NBC every so often eloquently says, the More You Know...
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