Write Back Weekend: "Hit Me Baby One More Time"
My new renter this week is Pink Pen Papers. I'm pleased to have her here as she was one of the first blogs I rented from. Go visit her and tell her I sent you. Pretty in pink, please?
This week I gave you the tall order of recalling the best and worst sequels of all time.
I say this was a daunting task, because as I sat down to write about the very same topic, I realized that I had a hard time recalling the BEST or the WORST. This is because sequels are everywhere and since there are too many unnecessary sequels, subsequently there are too many crappy movies out there to wade through.
The one thing I will say is this- if a sequel is going to be made there should be a general rule of thumb. The sequel in question should be as good as (if not better than) the original movie in some respect. It also should be a movie that should be able to stand on its own two legs, with or without the prior installment(s). This is my formula. However Hollywood has a far different recipe. It goes a little something like this- if there's even the slightest chance it is going to make them some money, no doubt, a part two or three or four, will be made.
Forgive me, but I'm not going to call my list the "best" or "worst" of all time. My choices are also not going to be traditional. Why? Because most of you covered the majority of the traditional choices in the comments and really, what fun would that be? I also will not get into a "nerdoff" about which Star Wars, Star Trek etc was better because it's just out of my league. Oh yeah, and I just don't care. Instead, I'm just going to write about what came to my mind and my thoughts on them. I will call them the bad and the good.
The Good
1. Grease 2- I know what you're thinking. HOW CAN GREASE 2 BE A GOOD SEQUEL? HOW CAN IT BE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL?! If you'd just calm down for a minute, I'd tell you. Any little girl who watched (and fell in love with) Grease loved everything about it. So when I discovered there was also a Grease 2, I was beside myself with glee. Is Grease 2 the same caliber as Grease the original? Hardly. But while Grease 2 is no doubt one of the cheesiest movies of all time, it's also a whole lot of harmless fun.
2. Airplane 2- Airplane 2 had nearly all of the same characters of from the first Airplane, but the series was hardly plot driven. Airplane 2 was merely another installment of silly gags and quotable one liners. The same formula was followed for the Naked Gun series and for Hot Shots , although Airplane did it first and also, I believe, did it best. Just the title, Naked Gun 33 1/3: Final Insult let you know that you were in for sheer silliness. Silly is hard. It's like sanity. There's a fine line you can easily cross. Airplane 2 walked the line perfectly.
3. Vegas Vacation- Here's another example of a great movie that cannot top the great original in the series. Yet this movie does pretty well if you don't realize it's got a prettier, older sister that caught our eye first. In total, there were four vacation movies made: National Lampoon's Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation and this one. For years I was convinced to be a kid in a vacation movie was the kiss of death. Anthony Michael Hall though, luckily bounced back. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of Dana Hill, the daughter in European Vacation. Although Chevy Chase makes the series work, the recasting of the kids (who never seem to get any older) was always interesting. I was ecstatic when this particular installment came out because as anyone who knows me knows, Ethan Embry, whom I love, played Rusty Griswold. Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased. Sue me.
4. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me or Goldmember- While I enjoyed Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, these are examples of sequels that managed to keep the momentum going with each installment. In fact, as the years go by, I tend to forget which great one liners go with which movie. To jog your memory, the second one had such great parts as:
Fat Bastard: I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. *Chili's* Baby back ribs.
Dr. Evil: Look, I'm Zippy Longstockings.
While the third had:
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
(Scott snickers)
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good...on the hole.
Dr. Evil (Mike Meyers): "Mini Me loves chocolat, Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil (Seth Green): "What? I like chocolat fine, I just..."
Dr. Evil: "Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil: "(mocking) It's very familiar. Hang on, let me do what I do. Uh, would you stop?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "How about I what?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "what are you..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "I don't even..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "Honestly, isn't this..."
Dr. Evil: "How about you don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't."
The Bad
1. Cruel Intentions 2 or 3- In my eyes, the original Cruel Intentions, a teenage remake (another whole category in itself) of Dangerous Liaisons was an excellent film that managed to be both dramatic and campy at the same time. Excellent casting including Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Philippe, Selma Blair and even Sarah Michelle Gellar can also be thanked for that. It's also the movie that started it all for Ryan and Reese, which must have been a fun wedding toast:
"I still remember how Ryan and Reese fell in love. They were rehearsing the scene where Ryan had to seduce Reese, the virgin saving herself for marriage, as part of a bet to sleep with his stepsister. One look in each other's eyes, and they knew they were meant to be together. Raise your glasses!"
Cruel Intentions 2 and even 3, for that matter, are examples of crappy movies that take the title of a great movie and try to pass themselves off as being in the same league purely on name alone. It's not unlike bands like The Beach Boys that go around touring the country with the name of The Beach Boys with, at the most, one boy. That's no fun at all.
2. Weekend At Bernies II- Here's the thing about Weekend At Bernie's. the first one was utterly ridiculous and, on paper, would seem as if it would fall under one of the worst movies of all time itself. But gosh darn it if it didn't work. Terry Kiser did an excellent job of playing the floppy dead guy Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman had to lug around. It was silly and stupid and completely impossible, but it was really, really funny. Making part one work was an impossible feat they pulled off. They should have been happy with that. But noooo, they had to go and try and bring him back. Suffice it to say, it didn't work.
3. Stepfather 3- In my eyes, the original Stepfather is one of the best horror/suspense movies of all time. This is for one reason and one reason only, the great, great acting skills of Terry O' Quinn. Most of you probably know and love him from Lost. I long gave up on the show, but I'm SO glad that he is finally getting the recognition he deserves.
Terry O'Quinn is an example of an actor that is so perfect for a part that you can't imagine anyone else playing him. When they made Stepfather 2, the quality was decreasing, but it still had Terry, so it was still a reputable film. But then they went and made Stepfather 3 with a completely different actor as the stepfather. They did this under what I like to call "the soap opera guise". The viewers will buy into it this because it's a horror film and he should have died years ago anyway. So he's still alive, only he's had extensive plastic surgery, thus the justification of a new actor. In most cases, the new actor in movies like these means one thing and one thing only- the original actor knew the new script was a piece of crap and refused to do it. But they go ahead and make the piece of crap anyway. And there my friends, that piece of crap is Stepfather 3. Good move Terry, by the way.
4. The Ring Two- Perhaps I'm a little harder on this sequel than the others, but that's only because when I saw the original The Ring I knew it was a remake. I also knew it was part of a trilogy. So when I watched part one, I knew there would be a part two and, if they still have the courage some day, a part three, although good luck getting Naomi Watts to return (see above). The Ring was a great, horror film. I always judge a great horror film on a movie that succeeds at creeping the audience out without a ton of special effects or overinduldgent grossery. The Ring was tastefully gross, if that makes any sense. The Ring Two was like the sophomore slump many music artists experience. It just could not live up to the hype of the original.
5. Lambada: The Forbidden Dance- This movie and it's predecessor, Lambada, are cinematic enigmas. I don't know anyone who can honestly say that this is one of their favorite movies of all time. I don't even know anyone who can say they truly enjoyed watching these movies. And yet, throughout the decade of the nineties, there were lambada references being made everywhere. What was that?! Are we that hard up for the next dance that we are willing to forget that the movie that started the dance was a waste of time?
My theory is this. The original Lambada, made in 1990, was hot on the heels of the success of Dirty Dancing, made in 1987. Lambada was attempting to capitalize on that success long before the Dirty Dancing franchise weakly turned around and tried to do the same thing with Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Amazingly, they didn't even succeed the first time around yet someone, somewhere decided we needed even more Lambada. It's bad when awful sequels follow really great movies, but it's even worse when really bad movies garner even worse sequels.
Honorable Mention
Some of you got very creative in the sequel department, branching out to include music, too. Following your lead, I don't think a sequel compilation would be complete without a reference to the neverending saga of R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet". Dubbed as a "hip-hopera", Trapped In The Closet is a sight (and sound) to behold. If you haven't heard or read about it before, check out the link. I personally can guarantee it will both shock and amuse you in ways you never dreamed.
Finally, if my opinions simply aren't good enough for you, check out this link from the experts over at Entertainment Weekly. They have their own thoughts about the worst of the worst, some of which I even agree with.
This week I gave you the tall order of recalling the best and worst sequels of all time.
I say this was a daunting task, because as I sat down to write about the very same topic, I realized that I had a hard time recalling the BEST or the WORST. This is because sequels are everywhere and since there are too many unnecessary sequels, subsequently there are too many crappy movies out there to wade through.
The one thing I will say is this- if a sequel is going to be made there should be a general rule of thumb. The sequel in question should be as good as (if not better than) the original movie in some respect. It also should be a movie that should be able to stand on its own two legs, with or without the prior installment(s). This is my formula. However Hollywood has a far different recipe. It goes a little something like this- if there's even the slightest chance it is going to make them some money, no doubt, a part two or three or four, will be made.
Forgive me, but I'm not going to call my list the "best" or "worst" of all time. My choices are also not going to be traditional. Why? Because most of you covered the majority of the traditional choices in the comments and really, what fun would that be? I also will not get into a "nerdoff" about which Star Wars, Star Trek etc was better because it's just out of my league. Oh yeah, and I just don't care. Instead, I'm just going to write about what came to my mind and my thoughts on them. I will call them the bad and the good.
The Good
1. Grease 2- I know what you're thinking. HOW CAN GREASE 2 BE A GOOD SEQUEL? HOW CAN IT BE BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL?! If you'd just calm down for a minute, I'd tell you. Any little girl who watched (and fell in love with) Grease loved everything about it. So when I discovered there was also a Grease 2, I was beside myself with glee. Is Grease 2 the same caliber as Grease the original? Hardly. But while Grease 2 is no doubt one of the cheesiest movies of all time, it's also a whole lot of harmless fun.
2. Airplane 2- Airplane 2 had nearly all of the same characters of from the first Airplane, but the series was hardly plot driven. Airplane 2 was merely another installment of silly gags and quotable one liners. The same formula was followed for the Naked Gun series and for Hot Shots , although Airplane did it first and also, I believe, did it best. Just the title, Naked Gun 33 1/3: Final Insult let you know that you were in for sheer silliness. Silly is hard. It's like sanity. There's a fine line you can easily cross. Airplane 2 walked the line perfectly.
3. Vegas Vacation- Here's another example of a great movie that cannot top the great original in the series. Yet this movie does pretty well if you don't realize it's got a prettier, older sister that caught our eye first. In total, there were four vacation movies made: National Lampoon's Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation and this one. For years I was convinced to be a kid in a vacation movie was the kiss of death. Anthony Michael Hall though, luckily bounced back. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of Dana Hill, the daughter in European Vacation. Although Chevy Chase makes the series work, the recasting of the kids (who never seem to get any older) was always interesting. I was ecstatic when this particular installment came out because as anyone who knows me knows, Ethan Embry, whom I love, played Rusty Griswold. Ok, so maybe I'm a little biased. Sue me.
4. Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me or Goldmember- While I enjoyed Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, these are examples of sequels that managed to keep the momentum going with each installment. In fact, as the years go by, I tend to forget which great one liners go with which movie. To jog your memory, the second one had such great parts as:
Fat Bastard: I want my baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back baby back ribs. *Chili's* Baby back ribs.
Dr. Evil: Look, I'm Zippy Longstockings.
While the third had:
Dr. Evil: Our early attempts at a tractor beam went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, ladies and gentlemen, we finally have a working tractor beam, which we shall call... Preparation H.
(Scott snickers)
Dr. Evil: What?
Scott Evil: Why don't you just call it operation ass-cream, you ass.
Dr. Evil: I'm sorry, did you say you want some ice cream?
Scott Evil: Yes, I'd love some chocolate ass-cream.
Dr. Evil: Perhaps later.
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I love your plan.
Dr. Evil: You do?
Frau Farbissina: Yah. It's a really good plan.
Dr. Evil: Yes Frau, on the whole Preparation H feels good.
[Scott resumes snickering]
Dr. Evil: What is it now?
Scott Evil: No, I totally agree with you. Preparation H does feel good...on the hole.
Dr. Evil (Mike Meyers): "Mini Me loves chocolat, Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil (Seth Green): "What? I like chocolat fine, I just..."
Dr. Evil: "Scotty don't!"
Scott Evil: "(mocking) It's very familiar. Hang on, let me do what I do. Uh, would you stop?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "How about I what?"
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "what are you..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "I don't even..."
Dr. Evil: "(speaking indistinctly) How about you don't."
Scott Evil: "Honestly, isn't this..."
Dr. Evil: "How about you don't, ladies and gentlemen, Scotty Don't."
The Bad
1. Cruel Intentions 2 or 3- In my eyes, the original Cruel Intentions, a teenage remake (another whole category in itself) of Dangerous Liaisons was an excellent film that managed to be both dramatic and campy at the same time. Excellent casting including Reese Witherspoon, Ryan Philippe, Selma Blair and even Sarah Michelle Gellar can also be thanked for that. It's also the movie that started it all for Ryan and Reese, which must have been a fun wedding toast:
"I still remember how Ryan and Reese fell in love. They were rehearsing the scene where Ryan had to seduce Reese, the virgin saving herself for marriage, as part of a bet to sleep with his stepsister. One look in each other's eyes, and they knew they were meant to be together. Raise your glasses!"
Cruel Intentions 2 and even 3, for that matter, are examples of crappy movies that take the title of a great movie and try to pass themselves off as being in the same league purely on name alone. It's not unlike bands like The Beach Boys that go around touring the country with the name of The Beach Boys with, at the most, one boy. That's no fun at all.
2. Weekend At Bernies II- Here's the thing about Weekend At Bernie's. the first one was utterly ridiculous and, on paper, would seem as if it would fall under one of the worst movies of all time itself. But gosh darn it if it didn't work. Terry Kiser did an excellent job of playing the floppy dead guy Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman had to lug around. It was silly and stupid and completely impossible, but it was really, really funny. Making part one work was an impossible feat they pulled off. They should have been happy with that. But noooo, they had to go and try and bring him back. Suffice it to say, it didn't work.
3. Stepfather 3- In my eyes, the original Stepfather is one of the best horror/suspense movies of all time. This is for one reason and one reason only, the great, great acting skills of Terry O' Quinn. Most of you probably know and love him from Lost. I long gave up on the show, but I'm SO glad that he is finally getting the recognition he deserves.
Terry O'Quinn is an example of an actor that is so perfect for a part that you can't imagine anyone else playing him. When they made Stepfather 2, the quality was decreasing, but it still had Terry, so it was still a reputable film. But then they went and made Stepfather 3 with a completely different actor as the stepfather. They did this under what I like to call "the soap opera guise". The viewers will buy into it this because it's a horror film and he should have died years ago anyway. So he's still alive, only he's had extensive plastic surgery, thus the justification of a new actor. In most cases, the new actor in movies like these means one thing and one thing only- the original actor knew the new script was a piece of crap and refused to do it. But they go ahead and make the piece of crap anyway. And there my friends, that piece of crap is Stepfather 3. Good move Terry, by the way.
4. The Ring Two- Perhaps I'm a little harder on this sequel than the others, but that's only because when I saw the original The Ring I knew it was a remake. I also knew it was part of a trilogy. So when I watched part one, I knew there would be a part two and, if they still have the courage some day, a part three, although good luck getting Naomi Watts to return (see above). The Ring was a great, horror film. I always judge a great horror film on a movie that succeeds at creeping the audience out without a ton of special effects or overinduldgent grossery. The Ring was tastefully gross, if that makes any sense. The Ring Two was like the sophomore slump many music artists experience. It just could not live up to the hype of the original.
5. Lambada: The Forbidden Dance- This movie and it's predecessor, Lambada, are cinematic enigmas. I don't know anyone who can honestly say that this is one of their favorite movies of all time. I don't even know anyone who can say they truly enjoyed watching these movies. And yet, throughout the decade of the nineties, there were lambada references being made everywhere. What was that?! Are we that hard up for the next dance that we are willing to forget that the movie that started the dance was a waste of time?
My theory is this. The original Lambada, made in 1990, was hot on the heels of the success of Dirty Dancing, made in 1987. Lambada was attempting to capitalize on that success long before the Dirty Dancing franchise weakly turned around and tried to do the same thing with Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. Amazingly, they didn't even succeed the first time around yet someone, somewhere decided we needed even more Lambada. It's bad when awful sequels follow really great movies, but it's even worse when really bad movies garner even worse sequels.
Honorable Mention
Some of you got very creative in the sequel department, branching out to include music, too. Following your lead, I don't think a sequel compilation would be complete without a reference to the neverending saga of R. Kelly's "Trapped In The Closet". Dubbed as a "hip-hopera", Trapped In The Closet is a sight (and sound) to behold. If you haven't heard or read about it before, check out the link. I personally can guarantee it will both shock and amuse you in ways you never dreamed.
Finally, if my opinions simply aren't good enough for you, check out this link from the experts over at Entertainment Weekly. They have their own thoughts about the worst of the worst, some of which I even agree with.
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