Dark Sarcasm In The Classroom: Part Four
If you've been stopping by the last three Mondays to read my four part series about what I see as the biggest problems currently facing educators, I thank you. I know these posts have been a little more heavy handed then the usual AOGB fare, but I figured you guys could take it. Today I will explore the final piece of the puzzle, the issue of parental involvement and community culture.
Parental involvement is easy enough to understand. When parents are involved, kids are more likely to care. Notice I used the words more likely and not definitely will care. This is because I believe that children, no matter how negatively or positively influenced, are in large part responsible for their own actions.
Not only do I believe this, I see this every day in my classroom. I have parents that do not seem to care nearly as much as the child does, and I know parents that want to help their child be the most they can be and the child still does not see the value in their own education. Sometimes I think we forget how young we are when our personalities start forming. Children can be surprisingly strong willed and opinionated all of their own accord.
I have to say that parental involvement varies greatly depending on who and what you teach. If you teach high school science for instance, you might not see nearly as many eager parents on a back to school night as you will in an kindergarten classroom. There's a reason for this. Many parents get excited when their children go to school for the first time. But year after year you start to seen a trend. Even by third grade, the parents know their own child's strengths and weaknesses and most don't feel the need to stop by the school to have them pointed out to them. At my school we see a sharp decrease in parental involvement the older the child gets.
Interest level also varies depending on the community you teach in. As I have stated many times, I teach in an urban district with a large Hispanic population. Although many of the families are poor, they are very interested in having their children do well in school. Typically, I have learned first hand that the Hispanic culture views the teacher as equally as important as the parent. As a result, they are extremely respectful of a teacher's recommendations and do not question them. Quite simply, they believe the teacher knows best.
I am lucky that the overly involved parent is the exception, not the rule. If I call home and say a child was fighting the parent rarely argues with me that I must be mistaken and that it can't be their child. They admit their children have flaws and encourage any consequence you give for a poor grade or poor behavior.
But as anyone knows, too much of anything is never a good thing. While many of the parents want their children to succeed in school, they adopt an attitude that is where the learning takes place, in school. If a child is failing a subject, the parent is sometimes concerned, and will ask what they can do to bring their child's grades up. I always give concerned parents a list of options which include: supplemental/extra work, free tutoring provided by the school, dollar store or homemade flash cards or practice sheets, taking a trip to the free, public library, private tutoring etc. Often parents seem grateful for this advice and the conversation ends with promises of doing one or all of the above.
But in my experience, rarely, if ever, does anything get done.
This is why the children make so many excuses for themselves. They are learning this behavior from the parents. Extra work is next to never handed in, flashcards are never made or bought, children show up late or not at all to tutoring, the list goes on and on. In third grade, children learn things like responsibility through those who model such behavior. Nowadays any educator is hard pressed to find a child who is working to his or her fullest potential without any help, interest or assistance from someone at home. The teacher can only do so much. Parents have to meet them halfway.
Now I understand that where I work, helping a child complete their homework is often easier said than done. Many parents work more than one job and aren't home to provide that support. Other parents want to provide that support, but a language barrier or even an educational barrier prevents them from doing so. Whether we like it or not, we are asking more of children now in third grade than we ever did before. Imagine being a parent who cannot understand their child's homework by the time they are eight years old. What is the future going to be like for that child at eighteen?
Because I see parents as such an important part of the child's success, I communicate with them every step of the way. Regardless of what is going on at home, I always act take the positive attitude that every parent can and will care about their child's progress. But while I am always communicating with parents, it's amazing to me how little communication goes on between parent and child.
For example, in my class, every time a child fails a test that test goes home to be signed and returned. I keep all failed tests in an individual file I create for each student. This way, if a parent or an administrator ever questions the progress of a child I have documentation of assessment and communication about such assessment.
If a child does well on a test, or at least passes, that test goes home and is given to the child to do whatever they wish with it be it decorate the refrigerator or throw it in the garbage. I do this will all assignments eventually, including many homeworks that I grade myself.
Every so often I will go through a child's folder and I find an overabundance of papers that have been handed back. You might assume that many kids simply trash or bury the assignments they did bad on, but I find this is surprisingly not always the case. Since most tests the child has done poorly on get returned, the parents end up seeing those, but if you ask a child if they've given the good grade to their parent, most of the time they haven't bothered. Not only that, the parent has never bothered to ask.
Another thing I do is have the children communicate directly with their parents when they did not complete an assignment or did not act properly in school. I will keep that child in for lunch detention, and, for the sake of time, have them write their own letters to their parents telling them why they are sitting. This saves me the time of calling each parent and gives the child a reasonable consequence at the same time. These notes also go home to be signed and returned to keep in my file. Amazingly, I have a pretty good return rate on both of these items.
Still, I can't even begin to tell you that despite all of this communication how many parents are completely in the dark about their child's progress.
I have found that many parents don't ask to see grades and don't have conversations about what happened in school that day. I also have found that parents will sign multiple failed tests and detention notes and STILL NOT QUESTION THEIR CHILD'S PROGRESS.
There have even been a few times I've been tempted to write "the cow jumped over the moon" on a note I send home to be signed and see if they even question it. And we wonder why the children don't read and take things seriously? What is it they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
Now I know I'm not a parent, but you better believe if I ever become one, and I start signing off on numerous failed or missing assignments or problems with behavior that I'm going to follow up on it. That doesn't say that I can necessarily change my child's behavior, but that doesn't mean I won't stop being concerned cause after all it is MY CHILD.
Unfortunately I see many parents today throwing their hands up in frustration. They hear that their child is failing. They see that their child has emotional issues. But all in all they hope beyond hope that it will simply go away. I've even had parents say to me that they are ready to "give up". Give up on your child ever sounds harsh, let alone at eight or nine years old?!
The same thing goes for behavior. If I know my child is a behavior problem, I would not continually reward them at home with the new XBox game or by letting them attend the party they wanted to go to. I have a distinct reward system in my room for a job well done, but I also have clear consequences for things that are not done. You might think the kids would resent a system like this, but believe it or not, most of them actually respect it because deep down, they are craving structure.
Some might think this is being critical of the parent, but I believe it's the parent's job to do these things. Look at it this way. If this was your real job, and these were your job requirements and you didn't do these things you'd be fired. But with parenting, it doesn't work that way. You don't need a license to procreate. No one is going to make you take care of your child. But not doing that goes against the reasons most people have children to begin with.
And on that note, this concludes my rant on education. I am by no means done expressing my observations and reflections on teaching, but I wanted to try to shed some light on what it is really like to teach today's children from one teacher's first hand perspective.
Parental involvement is easy enough to understand. When parents are involved, kids are more likely to care. Notice I used the words more likely and not definitely will care. This is because I believe that children, no matter how negatively or positively influenced, are in large part responsible for their own actions.
Not only do I believe this, I see this every day in my classroom. I have parents that do not seem to care nearly as much as the child does, and I know parents that want to help their child be the most they can be and the child still does not see the value in their own education. Sometimes I think we forget how young we are when our personalities start forming. Children can be surprisingly strong willed and opinionated all of their own accord.
I have to say that parental involvement varies greatly depending on who and what you teach. If you teach high school science for instance, you might not see nearly as many eager parents on a back to school night as you will in an kindergarten classroom. There's a reason for this. Many parents get excited when their children go to school for the first time. But year after year you start to seen a trend. Even by third grade, the parents know their own child's strengths and weaknesses and most don't feel the need to stop by the school to have them pointed out to them. At my school we see a sharp decrease in parental involvement the older the child gets.
Interest level also varies depending on the community you teach in. As I have stated many times, I teach in an urban district with a large Hispanic population. Although many of the families are poor, they are very interested in having their children do well in school. Typically, I have learned first hand that the Hispanic culture views the teacher as equally as important as the parent. As a result, they are extremely respectful of a teacher's recommendations and do not question them. Quite simply, they believe the teacher knows best.
I am lucky that the overly involved parent is the exception, not the rule. If I call home and say a child was fighting the parent rarely argues with me that I must be mistaken and that it can't be their child. They admit their children have flaws and encourage any consequence you give for a poor grade or poor behavior.
But as anyone knows, too much of anything is never a good thing. While many of the parents want their children to succeed in school, they adopt an attitude that is where the learning takes place, in school. If a child is failing a subject, the parent is sometimes concerned, and will ask what they can do to bring their child's grades up. I always give concerned parents a list of options which include: supplemental/extra work, free tutoring provided by the school, dollar store or homemade flash cards or practice sheets, taking a trip to the free, public library, private tutoring etc. Often parents seem grateful for this advice and the conversation ends with promises of doing one or all of the above.
But in my experience, rarely, if ever, does anything get done.
This is why the children make so many excuses for themselves. They are learning this behavior from the parents. Extra work is next to never handed in, flashcards are never made or bought, children show up late or not at all to tutoring, the list goes on and on. In third grade, children learn things like responsibility through those who model such behavior. Nowadays any educator is hard pressed to find a child who is working to his or her fullest potential without any help, interest or assistance from someone at home. The teacher can only do so much. Parents have to meet them halfway.
Now I understand that where I work, helping a child complete their homework is often easier said than done. Many parents work more than one job and aren't home to provide that support. Other parents want to provide that support, but a language barrier or even an educational barrier prevents them from doing so. Whether we like it or not, we are asking more of children now in third grade than we ever did before. Imagine being a parent who cannot understand their child's homework by the time they are eight years old. What is the future going to be like for that child at eighteen?
Because I see parents as such an important part of the child's success, I communicate with them every step of the way. Regardless of what is going on at home, I always act take the positive attitude that every parent can and will care about their child's progress. But while I am always communicating with parents, it's amazing to me how little communication goes on between parent and child.
For example, in my class, every time a child fails a test that test goes home to be signed and returned. I keep all failed tests in an individual file I create for each student. This way, if a parent or an administrator ever questions the progress of a child I have documentation of assessment and communication about such assessment.
If a child does well on a test, or at least passes, that test goes home and is given to the child to do whatever they wish with it be it decorate the refrigerator or throw it in the garbage. I do this will all assignments eventually, including many homeworks that I grade myself.
Every so often I will go through a child's folder and I find an overabundance of papers that have been handed back. You might assume that many kids simply trash or bury the assignments they did bad on, but I find this is surprisingly not always the case. Since most tests the child has done poorly on get returned, the parents end up seeing those, but if you ask a child if they've given the good grade to their parent, most of the time they haven't bothered. Not only that, the parent has never bothered to ask.
Another thing I do is have the children communicate directly with their parents when they did not complete an assignment or did not act properly in school. I will keep that child in for lunch detention, and, for the sake of time, have them write their own letters to their parents telling them why they are sitting. This saves me the time of calling each parent and gives the child a reasonable consequence at the same time. These notes also go home to be signed and returned to keep in my file. Amazingly, I have a pretty good return rate on both of these items.
Still, I can't even begin to tell you that despite all of this communication how many parents are completely in the dark about their child's progress.
I have found that many parents don't ask to see grades and don't have conversations about what happened in school that day. I also have found that parents will sign multiple failed tests and detention notes and STILL NOT QUESTION THEIR CHILD'S PROGRESS.
There have even been a few times I've been tempted to write "the cow jumped over the moon" on a note I send home to be signed and see if they even question it. And we wonder why the children don't read and take things seriously? What is it they say, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?
Now I know I'm not a parent, but you better believe if I ever become one, and I start signing off on numerous failed or missing assignments or problems with behavior that I'm going to follow up on it. That doesn't say that I can necessarily change my child's behavior, but that doesn't mean I won't stop being concerned cause after all it is MY CHILD.
Unfortunately I see many parents today throwing their hands up in frustration. They hear that their child is failing. They see that their child has emotional issues. But all in all they hope beyond hope that it will simply go away. I've even had parents say to me that they are ready to "give up". Give up on your child ever sounds harsh, let alone at eight or nine years old?!
The same thing goes for behavior. If I know my child is a behavior problem, I would not continually reward them at home with the new XBox game or by letting them attend the party they wanted to go to. I have a distinct reward system in my room for a job well done, but I also have clear consequences for things that are not done. You might think the kids would resent a system like this, but believe it or not, most of them actually respect it because deep down, they are craving structure.
Some might think this is being critical of the parent, but I believe it's the parent's job to do these things. Look at it this way. If this was your real job, and these were your job requirements and you didn't do these things you'd be fired. But with parenting, it doesn't work that way. You don't need a license to procreate. No one is going to make you take care of your child. But not doing that goes against the reasons most people have children to begin with.
And on that note, this concludes my rant on education. I am by no means done expressing my observations and reflections on teaching, but I wanted to try to shed some light on what it is really like to teach today's children from one teacher's first hand perspective.
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