Sleeping With The Enemy

I have the utmost respect for those of you who have been co-habitating for years. When I say "co-habitating" I am referring to you and a significant other, be it man, woman or even a beloved animal. Basically anyone who shares space with someone else or something falls into this category.

Here's why.

I find that sharing space, any space, with someone is a very hard thing to do. This is because personally, I find that I value my personal space.

This isn't only true of sleeping. My prerogative permeates other ares of my life, be it personal or professional. Just like Patrick Swayze said in Dirty Dancing, "This is my dance space, that's your dance space." I believe this adage should also be applied to everything. Try it on for size.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a very selfish person. But I find it is hardest to see things as all fair in love, war and... sleeping, especially when you have a partner who is a bed hog.

God love my boyfriend. We currently don't live together, but when we do, we have already talked about the possibility of getting the biggest bed possible. We've even joked we should just sleep in seperate rooms cause really, what sort of togetherness goes on while you're sleeping anyhow? I know that some of you out there like to cuddle, lean or spoon while you're sleeping, but I am not one of these people. I'm an antsy sleeper. I'm constantly on the move, tossing and turning all night. Some might say this makes me an annoying person to share a bed with, but that's a world of difference and a zillion counted sheep away from what it's like sleeping with him.

The first offense my boyfriend is guilty of is being what I like to call a "start spreading the news" sleeper. Basically this boils down to him having a very hard time coloring sleeping in the lines. Now this is all fine and well all the nights we sleep apart, but we get spoiled that way. When I'm alone I can toss and turn freely and when he's alone he can occupy multiple properties of real estate, so to speak. You know, if the sheet fits and all of that.

The funny thing is how clueless he is about his sleeping behaviors. So much so in fact that I have often wished I could take an arial view of our bed so he can see first hand just how much space he feels he is justified in taking up. Thankfully I'm tiny otherwise the bigger bed would have been a necessity much sooner than this.

If only this was the point of contention where sleeping dog would lie.

Adding three sheets to the wind is the fact that my boyfriend is also a sleep talker and even sometimes a part time, halfway sleep walker. I say it's part time because it occurs rarely and when he does decide to mobilize he never strays very far for very long before returning to home base.

Being that I am a light sleeper I often awake from his talking in his sleep or awaking from his slumber. I don't know why this happens but I will tell you this; people who talk or walk in their sleep serve to amuse and scare me, in equal parts.

If you've ever known a sleeptalker or walker you probably know what I'm talking about. To the untrained signficant other's eye, the sleeper could very well give off the impression that they are fully awake. Many times they are coherent and their eyes are open. However if you try to have a conversation with them they can't hold one and even if they can, their memory of that talk is like the drunk guy you met at the bar the night before, they have not a clue about talking to you.

Luckily enough for me I was precertified in sleepwalking and talking prior to my current relationship. In college I roomed with a sleeptalker/walker for three years. Sometimes she would sit straight up in bed, eyes wide open, yelling or laughing or just talking out loud. A few times, being the devil she was, she would "fake" this based on descriptions I had given her about how she acts. I hated when she did this.

My boyfriend is also aware, after the fact, that he sleeptalks. In fact, he gets a kick out of hearing about this. Since I am often woken up from an otherwise rather peaceful sleep I often have a hard time recalling specific things he says or does. In the moment I feel wide awake and I swear I'm going to be able to recall it verbatim the next day, but that rarely ends up happening. It's like dreams. No matter how funny, scary or significant, I can rarely remember the details.

But what I always do remember is times when he takes sleeptalking a step further and this is what really freaks me out.Sometimes he starts talking directly to me. He'll look me in the eye or try to shake me awake if I try to ignore his ranting. During these "episodes" I often cave in just to appease him. It's only after I have answered him in some way, shape or form that he returns to sleeping, and snoring loudly at that. And suddenly I am wide awake.

Yes, even while sleeping, he somehow manages to have the last word.

I suppose there's not much us significant others can do about this. We have no choice but to go quietly into the good night. It's par for the course when sleeping with other people.

You made your bed. Now you must go lie in it.