I Wanna Hold Your Hand
Do you remember the good ol' days of going steady? You were so excited to be wearing his pin and you'd go to places like the hop and the drive-in?
Yeah, I don't either.
I was too young to have learned about love in such a simple fashion. For instance, my parents met at a Polish dance. Never mind neither one of them were neither Polish nor dancers. Discuss. Frankly, back then it didn't matter. Hanging out at high school and church dances was the thing to do. I hear it was "the" key way to meet people, if you didn't count cruising and James Dean like drag racing, that is. What do I know? My frame of reference are things Rush, Rush and scenes from The Heavenly Kid and Grease.
Like it or not, things were definitely different back then. Some people haven't let the mentality go, though times themselves have changed drastically. I can still recall a classic conversation I had with my parents back when I started college about ten (gulp) years ago. I really was never into the crazy partying scene. Going to a frat party seemed like a college rite of passage so I went, but I wasn't all that impressed, even back then.
When I told my parents in the first few weeks that I worried about how I was going to fit it they tried to understand, but they couldn't. They didn't get why I was so uptight about partying. When I tried to explain to them some of the insane things that went down at frat parties, they assumed I was exaggerating. In the midst of a conversation my dad blurted out, "Janet, go to a frat party, and just hold a glass of wine."
It was in that moment that I realize just how big the generation gap actually was.
All of this is a long-winded intro to an exciting article my boyfriend sent me a link to.
To paraphrase, the gist of the article is this. Hand holding is good for couples and stress. It is a simple token of one's affection that has amazingly not died over the years admist all the Sexy Backing, Knocking of Da Boots and London Bridging.
Holding hands says "I care" in its purest form. Yes, nothing says lovin like hand holding. And once upon a time, hand holding was enough. Now it's so much more than that. You want something to hold? Why don't you just hold your horses there cowboy!
That's not to say that people didn't fool around back then, but stories of freakiness remained behind closed doors. I'm sure it happened but we didn't need to know about, much less sing along to it. And now it seems hand holding is coming back with a vengance. Sexual revolution be damned, Hands Across America played you, big time.
Maybe it's a girl thing, but hand holding was always a very symbolic gesture amongst me and my friends. Sure by the time I got to high school pinning had been phased out, but pure and simple pining had not. In true Joe Jackson fashion we'd wonder, Is She Really Going Out With Him? We always got our answer though when we'd see the happy couple walk hand in hand through the hall. Then, and only then, did everyone know they were together. I'll never forget how monumental this was, even on television when Jordan Catalano first grabbed Angela Chase's hand while walking down the hall in the late, great, My So-Called Life. At the time a collective contented sigh could be heard from teenage girls everywhere.
So that does it, right? If so much hand holding is proven to be good for you, everyone should be doing more of it. I'm not only talking about couples, I'm talking about adults with children as well. Only time has tainted good old-fashioned hand holding in adult/child relationships, especially in and educational setting. In fact any contact whatsoever is becoming downright taboo, which is just plain depressing.
A few years ago, I worked as an assistant in a special education classroom. It's something I always planned to write more about here, but never really did. One of the students in my class was an adorable little girl who had Down Syndrome. She was cute as a button, but extremely headstrong. She was seven years old, but she looked about three because of her size. Due to her openness, she saw nothing wrong with going up to everyone she saw, introducing herself, and giving them a hug.
Towards the end of the year it was decided that we had to try and break her of this habit. She was going to be getting older, even if she wasn't getting much taller, and it was becoming less and less appropriate for her to go around hugging strangers. So whenever she tried to hug us, we were instructed to give her a hearty high five instead. As soon as we tried this she always responded with excitement to the high five, but quickly followed up the gesture with a big bear hug.
The reason I told this story is simple. Explaining to children why things as innocent as hand holding and hugging are wrong to do just doesn't sit right with me for the same reasons they shouldn't be exposed to sick behaviors to begin with, they don't comprehend what is wrong about it. Trying to explain something that isn't on their radar only introduces paranoia. It's a fine line to walk. Teaching your children not to talk to strangers is a must, but telling them to separate themselves from those they know is a bit puzzling.
The district I currently work in never took issue much with the hand holding or hugging thing. But recently it came up at a faculty meeting. Why? Because one corrupt faculty member in the district decided to have relations with a teenage student. Now because there's one bad apple, the whole bunch has been spoiled. You might think it's different than the first time around when I worked with the little girl with Down Syndrome, but it's really not. If anything though, it is a bit harder. That's because to the first little girl, her ignorance is bliss. We couldn't explain why she shouldn't do something and she would never think to ask. But the kids I work with now come from broken homes and for the most part, are very needy. This group in particular is a very "huggy" bunch. Imagining rejecting their hugs in favor of a healthy handshake seems harsh.
The fact of the matter is there is very little innocence left in the world. I might have never gone to the hop or gone steady, but I know what a good, old-fashioned hand holding session or hug can do for the soul. I also know how to "hug it out" as best as the rest of them.
It might seem trivial, but it's symbolic and important. And that, above everything else, is something worth holding on to.
Yeah, I don't either.
I was too young to have learned about love in such a simple fashion. For instance, my parents met at a Polish dance. Never mind neither one of them were neither Polish nor dancers. Discuss. Frankly, back then it didn't matter. Hanging out at high school and church dances was the thing to do. I hear it was "the" key way to meet people, if you didn't count cruising and James Dean like drag racing, that is. What do I know? My frame of reference are things Rush, Rush and scenes from The Heavenly Kid and Grease.
Like it or not, things were definitely different back then. Some people haven't let the mentality go, though times themselves have changed drastically. I can still recall a classic conversation I had with my parents back when I started college about ten (gulp) years ago. I really was never into the crazy partying scene. Going to a frat party seemed like a college rite of passage so I went, but I wasn't all that impressed, even back then.
When I told my parents in the first few weeks that I worried about how I was going to fit it they tried to understand, but they couldn't. They didn't get why I was so uptight about partying. When I tried to explain to them some of the insane things that went down at frat parties, they assumed I was exaggerating. In the midst of a conversation my dad blurted out, "Janet, go to a frat party, and just hold a glass of wine."
It was in that moment that I realize just how big the generation gap actually was.
All of this is a long-winded intro to an exciting article my boyfriend sent me a link to.
To paraphrase, the gist of the article is this. Hand holding is good for couples and stress. It is a simple token of one's affection that has amazingly not died over the years admist all the Sexy Backing, Knocking of Da Boots and London Bridging.
Holding hands says "I care" in its purest form. Yes, nothing says lovin like hand holding. And once upon a time, hand holding was enough. Now it's so much more than that. You want something to hold? Why don't you just hold your horses there cowboy!
That's not to say that people didn't fool around back then, but stories of freakiness remained behind closed doors. I'm sure it happened but we didn't need to know about, much less sing along to it. And now it seems hand holding is coming back with a vengance. Sexual revolution be damned, Hands Across America played you, big time.
Maybe it's a girl thing, but hand holding was always a very symbolic gesture amongst me and my friends. Sure by the time I got to high school pinning had been phased out, but pure and simple pining had not. In true Joe Jackson fashion we'd wonder, Is She Really Going Out With Him? We always got our answer though when we'd see the happy couple walk hand in hand through the hall. Then, and only then, did everyone know they were together. I'll never forget how monumental this was, even on television when Jordan Catalano first grabbed Angela Chase's hand while walking down the hall in the late, great, My So-Called Life. At the time a collective contented sigh could be heard from teenage girls everywhere.
So that does it, right? If so much hand holding is proven to be good for you, everyone should be doing more of it. I'm not only talking about couples, I'm talking about adults with children as well. Only time has tainted good old-fashioned hand holding in adult/child relationships, especially in and educational setting. In fact any contact whatsoever is becoming downright taboo, which is just plain depressing.
A few years ago, I worked as an assistant in a special education classroom. It's something I always planned to write more about here, but never really did. One of the students in my class was an adorable little girl who had Down Syndrome. She was cute as a button, but extremely headstrong. She was seven years old, but she looked about three because of her size. Due to her openness, she saw nothing wrong with going up to everyone she saw, introducing herself, and giving them a hug.
Towards the end of the year it was decided that we had to try and break her of this habit. She was going to be getting older, even if she wasn't getting much taller, and it was becoming less and less appropriate for her to go around hugging strangers. So whenever she tried to hug us, we were instructed to give her a hearty high five instead. As soon as we tried this she always responded with excitement to the high five, but quickly followed up the gesture with a big bear hug.
The reason I told this story is simple. Explaining to children why things as innocent as hand holding and hugging are wrong to do just doesn't sit right with me for the same reasons they shouldn't be exposed to sick behaviors to begin with, they don't comprehend what is wrong about it. Trying to explain something that isn't on their radar only introduces paranoia. It's a fine line to walk. Teaching your children not to talk to strangers is a must, but telling them to separate themselves from those they know is a bit puzzling.
The district I currently work in never took issue much with the hand holding or hugging thing. But recently it came up at a faculty meeting. Why? Because one corrupt faculty member in the district decided to have relations with a teenage student. Now because there's one bad apple, the whole bunch has been spoiled. You might think it's different than the first time around when I worked with the little girl with Down Syndrome, but it's really not. If anything though, it is a bit harder. That's because to the first little girl, her ignorance is bliss. We couldn't explain why she shouldn't do something and she would never think to ask. But the kids I work with now come from broken homes and for the most part, are very needy. This group in particular is a very "huggy" bunch. Imagining rejecting their hugs in favor of a healthy handshake seems harsh.
The fact of the matter is there is very little innocence left in the world. I might have never gone to the hop or gone steady, but I know what a good, old-fashioned hand holding session or hug can do for the soul. I also know how to "hug it out" as best as the rest of them.
It might seem trivial, but it's symbolic and important. And that, above everything else, is something worth holding on to.
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