Write Back Weekend " One Five Moments In Time"
Last week I took on the daunting task of asking you to pick five defining moments in your lifetime. I realized this was a tall order after I sat down to work on mine. I also realized that no matter your age, you can still have lived a life rich with experiences. Some people have lived more in twenty-five years than others have lived in fifty. If you don't believe me, just ask one of last week's participants, Katherine.
Still, as always, it wouldn't be fair to ask those who played to choose five and then not manage to narrow it down to five myself. So here we go...in the order in which they have occurred.
1. Driveway Birthday Party- When I was six years old, my parents had my birthday party at my house. Being that my birthday is in June, we had it in and outside, but somehow the bulk of the party ended up happening on my driveway. Never mind the fact that we have a HUGE backyard that is literally vacant. Back then though we had these annoying prickly things that were all over everyone's yard and made it hard for the little ones (like me) to run around barefoot.
I chose this moment because I needed to pick something that represented an important era in my life. I distinctly remember moving to that house when I was five years old. I can still recall how I met my closest friends back then, defining moments in themselves, although I didn't know it at the time. I am still friends with some of them today. Although that time was full of a lot of times with friends and family, I picked the party because it was the one moment I remember when everyone was together; our new neighbors and our relatives. This was before petty drama and time drove a wedge between some of us. It also represents a time when kids played outside and neighbors were neighborly. I don't know about where you live, but that driveway seems like a foreign country now.
2. The Not Prom Weekend- Fast forward about eleven years or so. It was my senior year of high school and it was prom season. Some of my friends were going with boyfriends, some were going with friends, some were going stag and others weren't going at all. I fell into the latter group. When I was younger, the prom seemed like something that would happen far into the future. I always assumed I would go with my then boyfriend as it always seemed to happen in the movies. But when prom came around and the boyfriend was nowhere to be found, I didn't see the point in attending. I wasn't particularly fond of the kids from my high school, so I didn't see the point.
Complicating matters was the fact that I had developed feelings for a good friend of ours. He was a little bit older and from another town. Ironically, he was attending my prom while I wasn't. Now stay with me here. His best friend was the boyfriend of one of my close friends. She was going to the prom, however, she wasn't going with her boyfriend, she was going with a friend of hers she had a crush on before she met her boyfriend and someone she still crushed on even though she had a boyfriend. Got all that?
Needless to say since I wasn't going to the prom and her boyfriend wasn't going to the prom, he offered to take me. But being in the middle of a drama like that was the only thing LESS tempting than going without any drama at all. So I opted instead, to do what many kids did back then, I decided to take part in the prom weekend festivities post prom. In my town, prom had long transcended being about "one night" and instead had morphed into this weekend extravaganza.
That night after the prom, we went down the shore. The next morning we went to Great Adventure. To be perfectly honest, I can't even remember if I went to Great Adventure with them. There were way too many entanglements at the time. The prom weekend was really a catalyst for future dramas with the same players, culminating in the boy I was crushing on ultimately hooking up with the same friend of mine who offered to help me land the guy. I put it here because it was my first real experience with heart break. Looking back on it though, the weekend was such a classic prom scenario. There was so much angst and pining going on in all different directions. Some people said I'd look back one day and regret that I didn't go to the actual prom. I'm still waiting for that day to happen.
3. College Orientation- I was a jumble of mixed emotions when I was getting ready to go away to college. On one hand, I was excited to start anew. College has long represented new experiences and friendships. But with that came so much pressure to "reinvent" myself. Suddenly I knew I had the power to start over, but still the idea of leaving my old, comfortable life scared the hell out of me.
Although I've always been a shy person, I have found that I can easily switch into outgoing, self preservation mode when necessary. So when I went to college for orientation weekend I made a promise to myself that the first person I saw I was going to talk to. After my parents went their way and I went mine, I saw a girl standing outside a building. I went over to her and started talking at what seemed like it must have been a mile a minute. She looked at me with a mixture of horror and interest, the interest ultimately winning.
We hung around together most of the weekend and discovered we actually had more in common than either one of us would have anticipated since we were random strangers after all. Neither one of us were particularly into the "ice breaking" activities, especially of the athletic variety and relished the fact that we had an accomplice to sneak out with. We also discovered that we had similar interests (pop culture and sarcasm being two big ones) and similar disinterests as well (heavy drinking and random hook ups). We also met another girl that weekend, a commuter, who we clicked with.
When we all said goodbye we exchanged addresses with the promise to write (yes, the old fashioned way) in the few weeks before school started. Unlike many other people, when I get phone numbers, and addresses I actually intend to write. Whether or not the person I'm exchanging with is for real is really up to them. We all did actually write each other.
When we moved in that first weekend I ran in to that first friend again in the college bookstore. We both were with our parents and were tired from running around so although we had kept in touch, we gave each other less than enthusiastic greetings. We laugh about it now because we both interpreted the other as to be less than thrilled to see us. As it turns out, we really were just that tired, and scared. Although distance keeps us from seeing each other more often, I am still friends with both girls.
I chose to include this time because it is one of the most defining moments in my beliefs that everything happens for a reason. I'm sure I would have made good friends had I not mustered up the courage to talk to the first person I saw, but it was in that coming out of my shell in that exact moment that I met someone who was so like me in so many ways, someone that under different circumstances, I might have never come in contact with. While I do wish I could do certain elements of my college experience over again, this is definitely not one of them.
4. My First Real Job- After graduating college I had the all too common, tumultuous experience of finding a decent job. My first mistake was majoring in Communications, my second mistake was not being honest with myself about not wanting to work in NYC. Needless to say, choices were scarce and salaries were pathetic. After temping for some time at a local college I found my first "real" job with with a local insurance company.
The salary was insulting and the position not one you needed a college degree for, but I was happy to finally have a steady job to go to every day for the time being. Little did I know how symbolic that job would be in the grand scheme of things. Upon my first day of working there the first person I met was my now fiance. We ultimately had the unfortunate circumstance of having a "fishbowl romance" in a small office. We slowly came to find out the place was corrupt and we actually tried to change the system together. When we realized it was a lost cause we quit the same day.
While living in the hell of working there I had a hard time understanding the significance of the experience. Now I know it was the best thing that could ever happened. Not only did I meet my fiance, that job was my first real indication that office work was really not for me. Had it not been for that experience, and a series of short-lived ones after it, I might have never left dead end office jobs and become the teacher I am today.
5. The Icy Road- A few winters ago I was on my way to work. It was one of those days where it hadn't snowed, but it was cold enough to be quite icy outside. Most school districts close or at least open later on days like these, but not the district where I work.
As I turned to get on the ramp that led my way to work, I realized instantly that it was a bad idea. The car in front of me fish tailed a little. Instinctively I slammed my breaks, though that was not the right thing to do. Suddenly I felt like I was being flung around in a pinball machine, watching my car go from side to side in slow motion on this ramp, praying that I would end up right side up and not smashed in. Since I didn't have any speed, I had no choice but to literally have those moments where they say your life flashes before your eyes. It was terrifying.
When my car finally stopped moving, I shakily breathed a sigh of relief. Even though it was probably the wrong thing to do, I got out of the car as I wasn't thinking clearly. While the accident itself was horrible, amazingly so many factors were on my side that day. I could have skidded out into oncoming traffic or cars behind me could have hit me, too. Somehow the two cars behind me managed to have enough reaction time and both men whose cars were not damaged in any way wanted to stay with me until help arrived, despite freezing temperatures.
Since one of my tires was busted the car wasn't drivable at that moment, not that I would have wanted to drive it. Just walking around on the icy on ramp angered me as it was clear that it never should have been opened in the first place. Had it not been my accident, it certainly would have been someone's. I just had the unfortunate circumstance of being in the wrong time at the wrong place.
While waiting for the police and my dad to arrive, we had no choice but to stand there on the on ramp. Out of the blue, one of the men suggested that where we standing might not be the best spot considering that the ramp was still open and that it could happen to another car, too. Both men brainstormed the best positions to be in. One said we should get in our car, the other said that would be worse if the cars got hit. So we decided to move to the other side of my car instead as a last resort.
Moments after moving a HUGE truck came barreling down the on ramp. Good or bad weather aside, he had way too much speed. Soon it was apparent that he was going to lose control as he went right into my sidelined car. If my car hadn't been there as a buffer he probably would have gone over the edge. Had my car not been there as a buffer, I probably wouldn't be here today to tell you the story.
In the long run my car ended up getting totaled, but it was a monumental moment for many reasons. One, I had to face a life long, some would say unjustified fear of driving after an accident. I had been fearful of driving my whole life and now I finally had justification not to. It took all of my strength to get back behind the wheel again, but I did.
It also was a defining moment for another reason that might be harder to understand had you not experienced it yourself. Just like with meeting my college friend and my fiance, there was a serendipity to the occurrence. It also was the moment that I decided for sure that I believe in guardian angels. Remembering the one man telling us to move out of the way moments before that truck came down the on ramp still gives me chills.
So there you have it. Five defining moments in my thirty year old life. Check back in with me in another thirty years to see how much they have changed!
Still, as always, it wouldn't be fair to ask those who played to choose five and then not manage to narrow it down to five myself. So here we go...in the order in which they have occurred.
1. Driveway Birthday Party- When I was six years old, my parents had my birthday party at my house. Being that my birthday is in June, we had it in and outside, but somehow the bulk of the party ended up happening on my driveway. Never mind the fact that we have a HUGE backyard that is literally vacant. Back then though we had these annoying prickly things that were all over everyone's yard and made it hard for the little ones (like me) to run around barefoot.
I chose this moment because I needed to pick something that represented an important era in my life. I distinctly remember moving to that house when I was five years old. I can still recall how I met my closest friends back then, defining moments in themselves, although I didn't know it at the time. I am still friends with some of them today. Although that time was full of a lot of times with friends and family, I picked the party because it was the one moment I remember when everyone was together; our new neighbors and our relatives. This was before petty drama and time drove a wedge between some of us. It also represents a time when kids played outside and neighbors were neighborly. I don't know about where you live, but that driveway seems like a foreign country now.
2. The Not Prom Weekend- Fast forward about eleven years or so. It was my senior year of high school and it was prom season. Some of my friends were going with boyfriends, some were going with friends, some were going stag and others weren't going at all. I fell into the latter group. When I was younger, the prom seemed like something that would happen far into the future. I always assumed I would go with my then boyfriend as it always seemed to happen in the movies. But when prom came around and the boyfriend was nowhere to be found, I didn't see the point in attending. I wasn't particularly fond of the kids from my high school, so I didn't see the point.
Complicating matters was the fact that I had developed feelings for a good friend of ours. He was a little bit older and from another town. Ironically, he was attending my prom while I wasn't. Now stay with me here. His best friend was the boyfriend of one of my close friends. She was going to the prom, however, she wasn't going with her boyfriend, she was going with a friend of hers she had a crush on before she met her boyfriend and someone she still crushed on even though she had a boyfriend. Got all that?
Needless to say since I wasn't going to the prom and her boyfriend wasn't going to the prom, he offered to take me. But being in the middle of a drama like that was the only thing LESS tempting than going without any drama at all. So I opted instead, to do what many kids did back then, I decided to take part in the prom weekend festivities post prom. In my town, prom had long transcended being about "one night" and instead had morphed into this weekend extravaganza.
That night after the prom, we went down the shore. The next morning we went to Great Adventure. To be perfectly honest, I can't even remember if I went to Great Adventure with them. There were way too many entanglements at the time. The prom weekend was really a catalyst for future dramas with the same players, culminating in the boy I was crushing on ultimately hooking up with the same friend of mine who offered to help me land the guy. I put it here because it was my first real experience with heart break. Looking back on it though, the weekend was such a classic prom scenario. There was so much angst and pining going on in all different directions. Some people said I'd look back one day and regret that I didn't go to the actual prom. I'm still waiting for that day to happen.
3. College Orientation- I was a jumble of mixed emotions when I was getting ready to go away to college. On one hand, I was excited to start anew. College has long represented new experiences and friendships. But with that came so much pressure to "reinvent" myself. Suddenly I knew I had the power to start over, but still the idea of leaving my old, comfortable life scared the hell out of me.
Although I've always been a shy person, I have found that I can easily switch into outgoing, self preservation mode when necessary. So when I went to college for orientation weekend I made a promise to myself that the first person I saw I was going to talk to. After my parents went their way and I went mine, I saw a girl standing outside a building. I went over to her and started talking at what seemed like it must have been a mile a minute. She looked at me with a mixture of horror and interest, the interest ultimately winning.
We hung around together most of the weekend and discovered we actually had more in common than either one of us would have anticipated since we were random strangers after all. Neither one of us were particularly into the "ice breaking" activities, especially of the athletic variety and relished the fact that we had an accomplice to sneak out with. We also discovered that we had similar interests (pop culture and sarcasm being two big ones) and similar disinterests as well (heavy drinking and random hook ups). We also met another girl that weekend, a commuter, who we clicked with.
When we all said goodbye we exchanged addresses with the promise to write (yes, the old fashioned way) in the few weeks before school started. Unlike many other people, when I get phone numbers, and addresses I actually intend to write. Whether or not the person I'm exchanging with is for real is really up to them. We all did actually write each other.
When we moved in that first weekend I ran in to that first friend again in the college bookstore. We both were with our parents and were tired from running around so although we had kept in touch, we gave each other less than enthusiastic greetings. We laugh about it now because we both interpreted the other as to be less than thrilled to see us. As it turns out, we really were just that tired, and scared. Although distance keeps us from seeing each other more often, I am still friends with both girls.
I chose to include this time because it is one of the most defining moments in my beliefs that everything happens for a reason. I'm sure I would have made good friends had I not mustered up the courage to talk to the first person I saw, but it was in that coming out of my shell in that exact moment that I met someone who was so like me in so many ways, someone that under different circumstances, I might have never come in contact with. While I do wish I could do certain elements of my college experience over again, this is definitely not one of them.
4. My First Real Job- After graduating college I had the all too common, tumultuous experience of finding a decent job. My first mistake was majoring in Communications, my second mistake was not being honest with myself about not wanting to work in NYC. Needless to say, choices were scarce and salaries were pathetic. After temping for some time at a local college I found my first "real" job with with a local insurance company.
The salary was insulting and the position not one you needed a college degree for, but I was happy to finally have a steady job to go to every day for the time being. Little did I know how symbolic that job would be in the grand scheme of things. Upon my first day of working there the first person I met was my now fiance. We ultimately had the unfortunate circumstance of having a "fishbowl romance" in a small office. We slowly came to find out the place was corrupt and we actually tried to change the system together. When we realized it was a lost cause we quit the same day.
While living in the hell of working there I had a hard time understanding the significance of the experience. Now I know it was the best thing that could ever happened. Not only did I meet my fiance, that job was my first real indication that office work was really not for me. Had it not been for that experience, and a series of short-lived ones after it, I might have never left dead end office jobs and become the teacher I am today.
5. The Icy Road- A few winters ago I was on my way to work. It was one of those days where it hadn't snowed, but it was cold enough to be quite icy outside. Most school districts close or at least open later on days like these, but not the district where I work.
As I turned to get on the ramp that led my way to work, I realized instantly that it was a bad idea. The car in front of me fish tailed a little. Instinctively I slammed my breaks, though that was not the right thing to do. Suddenly I felt like I was being flung around in a pinball machine, watching my car go from side to side in slow motion on this ramp, praying that I would end up right side up and not smashed in. Since I didn't have any speed, I had no choice but to literally have those moments where they say your life flashes before your eyes. It was terrifying.
When my car finally stopped moving, I shakily breathed a sigh of relief. Even though it was probably the wrong thing to do, I got out of the car as I wasn't thinking clearly. While the accident itself was horrible, amazingly so many factors were on my side that day. I could have skidded out into oncoming traffic or cars behind me could have hit me, too. Somehow the two cars behind me managed to have enough reaction time and both men whose cars were not damaged in any way wanted to stay with me until help arrived, despite freezing temperatures.
Since one of my tires was busted the car wasn't drivable at that moment, not that I would have wanted to drive it. Just walking around on the icy on ramp angered me as it was clear that it never should have been opened in the first place. Had it not been my accident, it certainly would have been someone's. I just had the unfortunate circumstance of being in the wrong time at the wrong place.
While waiting for the police and my dad to arrive, we had no choice but to stand there on the on ramp. Out of the blue, one of the men suggested that where we standing might not be the best spot considering that the ramp was still open and that it could happen to another car, too. Both men brainstormed the best positions to be in. One said we should get in our car, the other said that would be worse if the cars got hit. So we decided to move to the other side of my car instead as a last resort.
Moments after moving a HUGE truck came barreling down the on ramp. Good or bad weather aside, he had way too much speed. Soon it was apparent that he was going to lose control as he went right into my sidelined car. If my car hadn't been there as a buffer he probably would have gone over the edge. Had my car not been there as a buffer, I probably wouldn't be here today to tell you the story.
In the long run my car ended up getting totaled, but it was a monumental moment for many reasons. One, I had to face a life long, some would say unjustified fear of driving after an accident. I had been fearful of driving my whole life and now I finally had justification not to. It took all of my strength to get back behind the wheel again, but I did.
It also was a defining moment for another reason that might be harder to understand had you not experienced it yourself. Just like with meeting my college friend and my fiance, there was a serendipity to the occurrence. It also was the moment that I decided for sure that I believe in guardian angels. Remembering the one man telling us to move out of the way moments before that truck came down the on ramp still gives me chills.
So there you have it. Five defining moments in my thirty year old life. Check back in with me in another thirty years to see how much they have changed!
<< Home