Once You Pop You Can't Stop
When I was a kid, I used to bite my nails. But when I say I bit my nails, I mean I really bit my nails. Sometimes this even included the surrounding skin. I mean, you know you have officially hit the point of no return when it hurts to eat pizza. And no, even the disgusting tasting clear nailpolish didn't help me.
But that was then, this is now.
As I got older, I figured a few things out. First I figured out that I really only bit my nails when I was nervous. Then I figured out that it really wasn't so much about biting my nails as it was about putting my fingers in my mouth. (I'll give you a moment to get all of the oral fixation jokes out of your system. Done? Good). Once I figured this out, my nails grew. Not only did my nails grow, they actually got long! This makes a recovered nail-biter, a good 12+ years strong.
Lately though, I realized that most of the time when we break a habit, we really only are fooling ourselves. Sure, I might not be a nail biter anymore, but I have picked up other quirks over the years that have served as a substitute.
For instance, for the past few years I have been popping my ear. It's kinda like the feeling you get when you are on an airplane or even going over a hill. I always had ear problems, but the constant need to pop is much more recent. I don't even know if it's technically my ear that I am popping or my jaw. All I know is that I tell myself all the time, "Stop popping!" but just like a junkie, I keep going back for more.
Only I realized I have more control over this habit when I'm NOT nervous. When I'm feeling under pressure, it gets harder not to pop and the more pressure I'm under, the more likely I am to pop too much and cause a migraine headache in my left eye because, if I haven't mentioned it already, I really only pop my left ear a lot. Don't ask me why.
But now, although I know this, I continue to pop. I also know that even if I do successfully conquer the urge to pop, I will somehow, someway, develop another odd quirk to take its place. It's moments like these I see how hard it really must be to say, quit smoking or lose weight...and I consider myself a person blessed with a high dosage of willpower.
I guess that's what life is sometimes, trading one vice for another. If someone is messy we encourage them to be neater, if someone is obsessed with being neat, we try to "mess their shit up". The grass is always greener on the other side. We all want what we don't got. You fill in your favorite saying here_________________________.
My question is, why do we feel the need to rid ourselves of life's little imperfections if we know that a new one is bound to crop up in its place?
And perhaps more importantly, why oh why am I popping my ear as I type this?!
But that was then, this is now.
As I got older, I figured a few things out. First I figured out that I really only bit my nails when I was nervous. Then I figured out that it really wasn't so much about biting my nails as it was about putting my fingers in my mouth. (I'll give you a moment to get all of the oral fixation jokes out of your system. Done? Good). Once I figured this out, my nails grew. Not only did my nails grow, they actually got long! This makes a recovered nail-biter, a good 12+ years strong.
Lately though, I realized that most of the time when we break a habit, we really only are fooling ourselves. Sure, I might not be a nail biter anymore, but I have picked up other quirks over the years that have served as a substitute.
For instance, for the past few years I have been popping my ear. It's kinda like the feeling you get when you are on an airplane or even going over a hill. I always had ear problems, but the constant need to pop is much more recent. I don't even know if it's technically my ear that I am popping or my jaw. All I know is that I tell myself all the time, "Stop popping!" but just like a junkie, I keep going back for more.
Only I realized I have more control over this habit when I'm NOT nervous. When I'm feeling under pressure, it gets harder not to pop and the more pressure I'm under, the more likely I am to pop too much and cause a migraine headache in my left eye because, if I haven't mentioned it already, I really only pop my left ear a lot. Don't ask me why.
But now, although I know this, I continue to pop. I also know that even if I do successfully conquer the urge to pop, I will somehow, someway, develop another odd quirk to take its place. It's moments like these I see how hard it really must be to say, quit smoking or lose weight...and I consider myself a person blessed with a high dosage of willpower.
I guess that's what life is sometimes, trading one vice for another. If someone is messy we encourage them to be neater, if someone is obsessed with being neat, we try to "mess their shit up". The grass is always greener on the other side. We all want what we don't got. You fill in your favorite saying here_________________________.
My question is, why do we feel the need to rid ourselves of life's little imperfections if we know that a new one is bound to crop up in its place?
And perhaps more importantly, why oh why am I popping my ear as I type this?!
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