I Learned The Truth At Seventeen
If you haven't done so already, please check out my Johari Window . Go ahead, I can take it.
To whomever took part in compiling VH1's 100 Greatest Teen Stars of All Time,
Look I realize you took on a daunting task by trying to compile a complete list of the best teen stars. The words "of all time" have a way of coming back to haunt you. I should know. I attempted to recapture my electric youth with this post.
Whether you a fan or not, there were some that made the final 100 who belonged there. The hall of famers. The no brainers. Stars like Molly Ringwald, Rick Schroeder, Scott Baio, David Cassidy, Alyssa Milano, Brooke Shields, Matt Dillon, Kirk Cameron and Britney Spears. You know these people were big and I can prove it by not having to hyperlink to them and remaining confident in the knowledge that you will still know who I'm talking about.
But let's be real. Some of the people that made the cut aren't even benchwarmers on my dream team. I'm not even going to bother reprinting the whole list. Why bother when this site does it for me? Instead I'm going to hone in a few stars chosen and those that were not.
You're welcome.
For starters, how you can do a "best of anything" and miss at least an entire decade of teendom is beyond me. I mean hello? No Ricky Nelson, Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, or The Beatles? No ELVIS PRESLEY! That's just wrong.
I thought this might have been because the stars in question weren't teens themselves at the height of their popularity, but then again, not everyone on your list was either. Matthew Broderick was not a teen when he made Ferris Bueller, the movie that arguably put him on the teen king map. Neither was AJ Langer a teen in her heyday when she co-starred on My So-Called Life. Come to think of it, did AJ Langer ever really have a heyday? Nor did Wilson Cruz, another My So-Called Lifer who miraculously made the list. I'll give you Claire Danes. But to include the other two and NOT Jared Leto means someone, somewhere must have been sniffing glue.
And while we're on the topic stars with initials in their names, who the hell is P.J. Soles and how the hell does she rate getting on this list before the likes of nearly any other teen who was actually you know, a star?! Hell, I'd include E.G. Daily before P.J. anyday.
Then there is Holly Marie Johnson who made it BEFORE Robby Benson. Seriously, are you high? Jason London without Jeremy London? Now that doesn't seem fair. Shannen Doherty, Jason Priestly, Brian Austin Green and Jennie Garth all made the grade, as did honorable "old teen" Gabrielle Cateris. Noticeably absent and unaccounted for though? Luke freakin' Perry! Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, aces. Dustin "Screech" Diamond but not Mario Lopez? In what universe is this happening?!
Then there were the geeks. Anthony Michael Hall? But of course. Patrick "I am the epitome of a teen geek transformation" Dempsey? Most definitely. But I don't know anyone who thought about the likes of Ilan Mitchell Smith, or Lawrence Monoson for more than five minutues. Scratch that. I don't know anyone who thought about them at all. I don't even know anyone who knew the Encyclopedia Britannica kid by name. In case you were dying to know, his name is Donovan Freberg. Between that kid from How Met Your Mother stealing his thunder and now this, I just know Jonathan Silverman is lying on a floor somewhere, wrapped up in the fetal position.
And what about troubled teen stars with checkered pasts? Begrudingly I will give you The Coreys, Haim and Feldman, but all this teenage drama and NO Drew Barrymore? No Olsen Twins? No Robert Downey. Jr or Michael Jackson? What? You WANNA be startin' something?!
But perhaps the biggest teen star faux pas of all was not including New Kids On The Block. NSync made it. Backstreet Boys made it. Even both Debbie Gibson AND Tiffany made it. So how can you make a list like this and not include the founding fathers of dreamy white boy, boy band pop?! It's sacrilege is what it is.
Sure it was long ago and far away, but I'm afraid I still remember it better than you guys do any day.
Sincerely,
Janet B, Pop Culture Queen
To whomever took part in compiling VH1's 100 Greatest Teen Stars of All Time,
Look I realize you took on a daunting task by trying to compile a complete list of the best teen stars. The words "of all time" have a way of coming back to haunt you. I should know. I attempted to recapture my electric youth with this post.
Whether you a fan or not, there were some that made the final 100 who belonged there. The hall of famers. The no brainers. Stars like Molly Ringwald, Rick Schroeder, Scott Baio, David Cassidy, Alyssa Milano, Brooke Shields, Matt Dillon, Kirk Cameron and Britney Spears. You know these people were big and I can prove it by not having to hyperlink to them and remaining confident in the knowledge that you will still know who I'm talking about.
But let's be real. Some of the people that made the cut aren't even benchwarmers on my dream team. I'm not even going to bother reprinting the whole list. Why bother when this site does it for me? Instead I'm going to hone in a few stars chosen and those that were not.
You're welcome.
For starters, how you can do a "best of anything" and miss at least an entire decade of teendom is beyond me. I mean hello? No Ricky Nelson, Annette Funicello, Frankie Avalon, or The Beatles? No ELVIS PRESLEY! That's just wrong.
I thought this might have been because the stars in question weren't teens themselves at the height of their popularity, but then again, not everyone on your list was either. Matthew Broderick was not a teen when he made Ferris Bueller, the movie that arguably put him on the teen king map. Neither was AJ Langer a teen in her heyday when she co-starred on My So-Called Life. Come to think of it, did AJ Langer ever really have a heyday? Nor did Wilson Cruz, another My So-Called Lifer who miraculously made the list. I'll give you Claire Danes. But to include the other two and NOT Jared Leto means someone, somewhere must have been sniffing glue.
And while we're on the topic stars with initials in their names, who the hell is P.J. Soles and how the hell does she rate getting on this list before the likes of nearly any other teen who was actually you know, a star?! Hell, I'd include E.G. Daily before P.J. anyday.
Then there is Holly Marie Johnson who made it BEFORE Robby Benson. Seriously, are you high? Jason London without Jeremy London? Now that doesn't seem fair. Shannen Doherty, Jason Priestly, Brian Austin Green and Jennie Garth all made the grade, as did honorable "old teen" Gabrielle Cateris. Noticeably absent and unaccounted for though? Luke freakin' Perry! Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Mark-Paul Gosselaar, aces. Dustin "Screech" Diamond but not Mario Lopez? In what universe is this happening?!
Then there were the geeks. Anthony Michael Hall? But of course. Patrick "I am the epitome of a teen geek transformation" Dempsey? Most definitely. But I don't know anyone who thought about the likes of Ilan Mitchell Smith, or Lawrence Monoson for more than five minutues. Scratch that. I don't know anyone who thought about them at all. I don't even know anyone who knew the Encyclopedia Britannica kid by name. In case you were dying to know, his name is Donovan Freberg. Between that kid from How Met Your Mother stealing his thunder and now this, I just know Jonathan Silverman is lying on a floor somewhere, wrapped up in the fetal position.
And what about troubled teen stars with checkered pasts? Begrudingly I will give you The Coreys, Haim and Feldman, but all this teenage drama and NO Drew Barrymore? No Olsen Twins? No Robert Downey. Jr or Michael Jackson? What? You WANNA be startin' something?!
But perhaps the biggest teen star faux pas of all was not including New Kids On The Block. NSync made it. Backstreet Boys made it. Even both Debbie Gibson AND Tiffany made it. So how can you make a list like this and not include the founding fathers of dreamy white boy, boy band pop?! It's sacrilege is what it is.
Sure it was long ago and far away, but I'm afraid I still remember it better than you guys do any day.
Sincerely,
Janet B, Pop Culture Queen
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