Hitting Random Musical Notes
Holla Ashlee Simpson!
America loves your music Ashl double 'ee', hold the 'y'. So, probably, does Germany. But considering the whole David Hasselhoff thing, that was pretty much a given.
Just a note to say we are totally, 100% behind you. At least until you run out of hair colors or your career runs out of steam...whichever comes first.
Sincerely,
Your fairweather friends over at MTV
To Those Crazy Train Guys,
I know I'm in the minority here, but I actually think your song "Ordinary" is the best thing to come out of the whole Spiderman franchise. I hear a new Dukes of Hazzard movie is in the works. You might want to start thinking about orange trucks and angst sometime soon.
Call me. We'll do lunch.
Harvey Weinstein
What's up Lindsay Lohan?,
You don't remember me, cause we never met. But, if we did, I would tell you what I'm telling you now: having access to a microphone, a recording studio and lots of Disney dollars does not a singer make. Unless of course, you're me.
Luv,
Britney
My man Usher,
Wow! Couldn't! You! Have! Thought! Of! Anything else? To! Say? Besides...YEAH! Yeah! YeAH! YEAH!!!
I mean, really. The English language is literally overflowing with words.
Anonymous
Overheard in an answering machine message to Rachael Yamagata.
Hey Rach. It's just me...again. I wondered if you had given any thought to us teaming up in the near future. We could like...write, or just chill and talk about how the yuppy studio execs are all about keeping us down. By the way, were you able to pass on my latest demo? Give me a call, you know...whenever. I'll be around. If not here. Page me. Anytime. Email is cool too...fionappleoriginal@hotmail.com
JoJo!
Congrats on your big hit sweetheart! I knew all that pining in your bedroom would come to good use someday! I was standing online at the supermarket checkout the other day when I heard "Leave (Get Out)" was unoffically this summer's breakup anthem! I would ask what's next, but considering you're only 13 years old, I think we actually might BE going to Disneyland. Please don't forget to wear your sunscreen when you're on stage at Summerfest. I don't care if Avril calls you a dork. Her mother obviously doesn't care about what her skin will be like 20 years from now.
Oh, and by the way, the answer is still NO about Aaron Carter. See you soon, honey.
Hugs & Kisses,
Mom and Dad
Greetings Richard Marx,
Welcome back. 1992 was your ticket out. Welcome back, to the same old place that you laughed about. Well, the names have all changed since you hung around. But, power ballads have remained, and they've turned around. Now who'd thought writing songs for others would lead ya, back here where we need ya?
Yeah, they make fun of you a lot, but dude, look at all the money you got.
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
John Sebastian
Dear Duff Sisters,
Listen. I won't be mad at you if you just admit what you did wrong. And stop.
Now.
That's really all I ask.
Thank you,
Janet Branagan
America loves your music Ashl double 'ee', hold the 'y'. So, probably, does Germany. But considering the whole David Hasselhoff thing, that was pretty much a given.
Just a note to say we are totally, 100% behind you. At least until you run out of hair colors or your career runs out of steam...whichever comes first.
Sincerely,
Your fairweather friends over at MTV
To Those Crazy Train Guys,
I know I'm in the minority here, but I actually think your song "Ordinary" is the best thing to come out of the whole Spiderman franchise. I hear a new Dukes of Hazzard movie is in the works. You might want to start thinking about orange trucks and angst sometime soon.
Call me. We'll do lunch.
Harvey Weinstein
What's up Lindsay Lohan?,
You don't remember me, cause we never met. But, if we did, I would tell you what I'm telling you now: having access to a microphone, a recording studio and lots of Disney dollars does not a singer make. Unless of course, you're me.
Luv,
Britney
My man Usher,
Wow! Couldn't! You! Have! Thought! Of! Anything else? To! Say? Besides...YEAH! Yeah! YeAH! YEAH!!!
I mean, really. The English language is literally overflowing with words.
Anonymous
Overheard in an answering machine message to Rachael Yamagata.
Hey Rach. It's just me...again. I wondered if you had given any thought to us teaming up in the near future. We could like...write, or just chill and talk about how the yuppy studio execs are all about keeping us down. By the way, were you able to pass on my latest demo? Give me a call, you know...whenever. I'll be around. If not here. Page me. Anytime. Email is cool too...fionappleoriginal@hotmail.com
JoJo!
Congrats on your big hit sweetheart! I knew all that pining in your bedroom would come to good use someday! I was standing online at the supermarket checkout the other day when I heard "Leave (Get Out)" was unoffically this summer's breakup anthem! I would ask what's next, but considering you're only 13 years old, I think we actually might BE going to Disneyland. Please don't forget to wear your sunscreen when you're on stage at Summerfest. I don't care if Avril calls you a dork. Her mother obviously doesn't care about what her skin will be like 20 years from now.
Oh, and by the way, the answer is still NO about Aaron Carter. See you soon, honey.
Hugs & Kisses,
Mom and Dad
Greetings Richard Marx,
Welcome back. 1992 was your ticket out. Welcome back, to the same old place that you laughed about. Well, the names have all changed since you hung around. But, power ballads have remained, and they've turned around. Now who'd thought writing songs for others would lead ya, back here where we need ya?
Yeah, they make fun of you a lot, but dude, look at all the money you got.
Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
John Sebastian
Dear Duff Sisters,
Listen. I won't be mad at you if you just admit what you did wrong. And stop.
Now.
That's really all I ask.
Thank you,
Janet Branagan
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