And All That Jazz
If there's one thing I've always loved, it's music. Favorite songs are like the children I don't have; I love all of them equally and all for different reasons.
I've also always prided myself on being an equal opportunity listener. I'll give anything a chance once before dismissing it completely. Yes, I even once had a musical "first date" with the likes of Wayne Newton and Michael Bolton. We were singing different tunes though, so we things ended a bad note and went our separate ways.
But I'm not gonna lie, there is one genre that no matter how hard I try, I'm most likely not gonna like it. That genre is jazz.
Forcing myself to get psyched up about jazz is like forcing myself to get psyched about the latest Jackie Chan movie. I enter the theater like an abused lover, hoping that this time maybe things will be different. This time things will be better. But you and I both know they never are.
I can admit, however, that many jazz musicians have chops. Most of the time people who don't like something can't do this. I call this the Celine Dion Scenario. Face it. People either love or hate Celine. My point is this, even if you hate the woman and hearing her music makes you want to stab yourself repeatedly in the eye with a fork, you have to admit one thing and one thing only: The woman can sing. I'm not saying you should like her or even tolerate her, but Dion does represent and throw down.
There's just something about jazz music though that makes it really hard for me to enjoy it. I think it has something to do with the erratic or unpredictable notes. I know technically speaking that much of the tangents jazz musicians go off on are more complex than an Oliver Stone screenplay, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable for me to listen to them.
They're over here, then they're over there. They're up, they're down. They're slow, they're fast. If every genre of music could have a psychological diagnosis, jazz would surely be classified as bipolar.
Ironically, many people find jazz music to be quite relaxing. Just look at Kenny G. He takes relaxing to a whole new level, his loyal listeners just one notch above being comatose.
But when jazz music is playing in the background when I'm at a restaurant, or when it's playing as the undercurrent of an important scene in a movie, I find it to be the complete opposite. It's like trying to carry on an adult conversation with a screaming child in the background, it just ain't gonna happen.
The other thing about jazz is that to me, so much of it sounds the same. Interestingly enough, the sameness of the structure is that it will be unpredictable. Ever listen to a jazz station on the radio? They've got two speeds...cool jazz, or hot jazz. There is no in between.
Yes, pure jazz is just razzmatazz to a girl like me, but music that has jazz influences? Now that's a different story. I'm all for that. A sax solo can be sexy. A jazz interlude can create a wonderful diversion. But what makes it work is it is a dancer in a troupe, not a featured player left to flail around on the stage all by itself. Just take Saturday Night Live's Will Forte. He had some funny moments, but you wouldn't be scrambling to see The Will Forte Hour anytime soon now would ya?
As if the music itself wasn't overrated enough, it even has it's own expression!
jazz-verb to enliven-- usually used with up.
Damn. You know what this means, right? They've succeeded in getting me all jazzed... in writing about jazz.
Now that-- that's juzz crazy.
I've also always prided myself on being an equal opportunity listener. I'll give anything a chance once before dismissing it completely. Yes, I even once had a musical "first date" with the likes of Wayne Newton and Michael Bolton. We were singing different tunes though, so we things ended a bad note and went our separate ways.
But I'm not gonna lie, there is one genre that no matter how hard I try, I'm most likely not gonna like it. That genre is jazz.
Forcing myself to get psyched up about jazz is like forcing myself to get psyched about the latest Jackie Chan movie. I enter the theater like an abused lover, hoping that this time maybe things will be different. This time things will be better. But you and I both know they never are.
I can admit, however, that many jazz musicians have chops. Most of the time people who don't like something can't do this. I call this the Celine Dion Scenario. Face it. People either love or hate Celine. My point is this, even if you hate the woman and hearing her music makes you want to stab yourself repeatedly in the eye with a fork, you have to admit one thing and one thing only: The woman can sing. I'm not saying you should like her or even tolerate her, but Dion does represent and throw down.
There's just something about jazz music though that makes it really hard for me to enjoy it. I think it has something to do with the erratic or unpredictable notes. I know technically speaking that much of the tangents jazz musicians go off on are more complex than an Oliver Stone screenplay, but that doesn't make it any more enjoyable for me to listen to them.
They're over here, then they're over there. They're up, they're down. They're slow, they're fast. If every genre of music could have a psychological diagnosis, jazz would surely be classified as bipolar.
Ironically, many people find jazz music to be quite relaxing. Just look at Kenny G. He takes relaxing to a whole new level, his loyal listeners just one notch above being comatose.
But when jazz music is playing in the background when I'm at a restaurant, or when it's playing as the undercurrent of an important scene in a movie, I find it to be the complete opposite. It's like trying to carry on an adult conversation with a screaming child in the background, it just ain't gonna happen.
The other thing about jazz is that to me, so much of it sounds the same. Interestingly enough, the sameness of the structure is that it will be unpredictable. Ever listen to a jazz station on the radio? They've got two speeds...cool jazz, or hot jazz. There is no in between.
Yes, pure jazz is just razzmatazz to a girl like me, but music that has jazz influences? Now that's a different story. I'm all for that. A sax solo can be sexy. A jazz interlude can create a wonderful diversion. But what makes it work is it is a dancer in a troupe, not a featured player left to flail around on the stage all by itself. Just take Saturday Night Live's Will Forte. He had some funny moments, but you wouldn't be scrambling to see The Will Forte Hour anytime soon now would ya?
As if the music itself wasn't overrated enough, it even has it's own expression!
jazz-verb to enliven-- usually used with up.
Damn. You know what this means, right? They've succeeded in getting me all jazzed... in writing about jazz.
Now that-- that's juzz crazy.
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