Take It Outside
No ifs, ands or butts about it...smoking has apparently banned from bars in New Jersey.
Like Smokey Robinson once said, I second that emotion. Heh, Smokey. That was so. not. even. planned.
This might come as a bit of a surprise, but I'm all for patrons not being allowed to smoke in public places. I mean come on. It's 2006 people! If you don't know that smoking is bad for you by now you may never, ever, ever know it. Ooh, ooh ooh.
I was just at a bar this weekend. I was barely breathing. I could not find the air. Not only that, it got all embedded in my hair. So even though I'm not a smoker, some days I feel I might as well play one on TV.
Listen up. Not only is smoking bad for you, it's even worse for me. And by me I mean all of us non-smokers out there. Despite what smokers may tell you, smoking is not a solo activity. They are not only doing harm to themselves. If you're in a room with a smoker you might as well be smoking a cigarette, too. And no, despite what the smokers say, the non-smoking sections in restaurants are not fooling anybody. A partition does not a wall make and all I need, quite frankly, is the air that I breathe.
So aside from its overuse of incorrect grammar and aerosol, New Jersey has allegedly smartened up and cut out the menthol, once and for all. Gone are the days where guidos who are embarrassingly close to those Night At The Roxbury Guys can carry their Zima in one hand and a Marlboro cigarette in the other. In fact, I can just imagine all the amazingly insecure New Jerseyans everywhere who are currently wondering what the hell they are going to do with that free hand now.
No matter how uncool smoking really is, it's a highly addictive habit that is very, very hard to quit, or so all them smokers tell me. What hasn't helped matters any stems from the fact that there have been many hypocritical messages over the years.
We tell kids not to smoke, and then they watch a million movies where the hero...is a smoker. We tell kids to stay away and then we market candy cigarettes, made both with and without smoke, thank you very much. And as we all know, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Yes, with smoking banned from bars in New Jersey, it's one small step for the non-smoking man, but there still remains the one giant leap for the Bon Jovi minded kind.
This is because smoking will still be allowed in New Jersey casinos. Despite what movies like Jersey Girl may tell you, New Jerseyans are not all stupid people who wish they were New Yorkers (again). Like "me" and Mrs. Jones, they know they've got a good thing going on. And if there's one thing New Jersey smokers love more than bumping and grinding at an outdated techno club, it's playing the slots and enjoying a cig. What a drag. What are the casinos good for anyway? It's all smoke and mirrors if you ask me.
We've won the battle, but not the war. No doubt the diehards will still get their cigarettes cause where there's a will, there's a way. But when it gets cold outside and you've got nobody to love, you'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we'll ever give up. Eventually the more people who go out with you who just gotta have their cigarette will make it harder, and harder to breathe.
Like Smokey Robinson once said, I second that emotion. Heh, Smokey. That was so. not. even. planned.
This might come as a bit of a surprise, but I'm all for patrons not being allowed to smoke in public places. I mean come on. It's 2006 people! If you don't know that smoking is bad for you by now you may never, ever, ever know it. Ooh, ooh ooh.
I was just at a bar this weekend. I was barely breathing. I could not find the air. Not only that, it got all embedded in my hair. So even though I'm not a smoker, some days I feel I might as well play one on TV.
Listen up. Not only is smoking bad for you, it's even worse for me. And by me I mean all of us non-smokers out there. Despite what smokers may tell you, smoking is not a solo activity. They are not only doing harm to themselves. If you're in a room with a smoker you might as well be smoking a cigarette, too. And no, despite what the smokers say, the non-smoking sections in restaurants are not fooling anybody. A partition does not a wall make and all I need, quite frankly, is the air that I breathe.
So aside from its overuse of incorrect grammar and aerosol, New Jersey has allegedly smartened up and cut out the menthol, once and for all. Gone are the days where guidos who are embarrassingly close to those Night At The Roxbury Guys can carry their Zima in one hand and a Marlboro cigarette in the other. In fact, I can just imagine all the amazingly insecure New Jerseyans everywhere who are currently wondering what the hell they are going to do with that free hand now.
No matter how uncool smoking really is, it's a highly addictive habit that is very, very hard to quit, or so all them smokers tell me. What hasn't helped matters any stems from the fact that there have been many hypocritical messages over the years.
We tell kids not to smoke, and then they watch a million movies where the hero...is a smoker. We tell kids to stay away and then we market candy cigarettes, made both with and without smoke, thank you very much. And as we all know, where there's smoke, there's fire.
Yes, with smoking banned from bars in New Jersey, it's one small step for the non-smoking man, but there still remains the one giant leap for the Bon Jovi minded kind.
This is because smoking will still be allowed in New Jersey casinos. Despite what movies like Jersey Girl may tell you, New Jerseyans are not all stupid people who wish they were New Yorkers (again). Like "me" and Mrs. Jones, they know they've got a good thing going on. And if there's one thing New Jersey smokers love more than bumping and grinding at an outdated techno club, it's playing the slots and enjoying a cig. What a drag. What are the casinos good for anyway? It's all smoke and mirrors if you ask me.
We've won the battle, but not the war. No doubt the diehards will still get their cigarettes cause where there's a will, there's a way. But when it gets cold outside and you've got nobody to love, you'll understand what I mean when I say there's no way we'll ever give up. Eventually the more people who go out with you who just gotta have their cigarette will make it harder, and harder to breathe.
<< Home